ok, here's the deal. I'm a christian in a serious relationship with another christian. We live together, but we have remained pure the entire 2 yrs. we've been together, with the exception of a few times we succombed to the heat of the moment when we didn't live together. (this happened at the beginning of our relationship) Now that we live together, don't ask me why, but sex is not an issue for us at all....i.e a temptation. I know this is not the norm as most people would find it hard to not have sex if they lived together. We are both very committed to not having sex till marriage and by now this state of mind or practice of abstinence has become the norm in our relationship. I liken it to a person who goes on a diet, who at first really misses chocolate cake, but then gets accustomed to eating vegetables, until vegetables really then taste good.
Anyway, our intention was never to live together, but the reason this happened is a long and complicated story......mostly due to financial difficulties and some emergency situations outside our doing. In a nutshell, he moved to my area out of state with no money due to an unforeseen and sudden decision he had to make regarding his living situation. (he was planning on coming here once he finished school and with some money to set himself up etc.) This plan was cut short due to some violent occurances where he was living that just made it impossible to live there. (crazy drug addict room mate). He had very little money and no where to go so i offered to help him find a job and a place once he got here.
Meanwhile, at the time when i met him, i was living with my mother and on disability due to a medical condition that i developed in the last 6 yrs. which prevents me from working. I lived with her for 3 yrs. while i got treatment since my income couldn't afford me my own place. Living with my mother was very difficult since she has a lot of mental issues (paranoid and delusional) and can become very controlling and even violent. I had to put up with it because i simply had no choice since my disability income just wasn't enough to afford the high rents where i live.
Anyway after he told me what had happened with his living situation, i told my bf to come to my area, stay at a hotel and i would help him find a job etc. Well, long story short, i helped him apply everywhere and he was able to get a freelance gig doing some graphics design work that he was able to do using my computer since i had the software he needed. Well, that fell through as soon as my mom started up with her craziness. Her paranoia kicked in and she falsely accused my bf of being a con artist and stealing her credit card blah, blah blah. She even stole my flash drive containing our emails so as to show the FBI as evidence. Knowing how i know my mother, she pretty much couldn't deal with the fact that i was giving my attentions to someone else and she could not control me. Oh yes, and did i mention that i'm almost 40 yrs. old.?...lol....My mother infantilizes me and has such difficulty with seeing me do my own thing. As a side note....i've been on my own since college, but only had to move in with her for 3 yrs. due to my illness. Anyway, after a lot of chaos at my mom's apt. we got into an argument and she ended up throwing me out in the dead of winter. I had no where else to go so i lived with my bf at the hotel he was staying at. He of course lost that freelance job he got since he no longer could use my computer. The little money he came with ran out and for 4 months we paid the hotel on the little money i had from disability. This barely made ends meet and there were times that we had to sleep in my car because we couldn't even afford hotel costs. Since he didn't even have the proper clothes for a proffesional interview (since he left in a hurry), he couldn't even apply to any good paying jobs. He applied everywhere and still nothing. Finally he got a crappy part time job at staples for 3 weeks, but was told not to come back unless he had black dress shoes which he couldn't afford. As you can imagine, this was a very difficult situation that i had never been in in my entire life. As desperate and as stressful as it all was, we both hung in there and depended on god a lot. God really came thru miraculously on many occasions by providing for us just at the last minute. We really learned a lot and drew closer to him thru prayer.
Finally things started looking up when my brother was able to pull a few strings with the mayor of our town and i was able to get an apt. at this low income housing unit that had just been built. The rent was affordable and best of all, they allowed me to keep my 2 large dogs who are like children to me. Ok, so we finally got rid of the pressure of housing costs and moved in to this apt. My boyfriend was able to finally secure a permanent job after doing a lot of temp. free lance stuff for a while. He is finally now in a position to afford living on his own, but since we want to get married, we both feel that it would happen quicker if we just continue living together in order to save up for wedding. Nothing fancy or grand, but something nice enough to be memorable.
Now my question to the forum is: Do you think it's a sin that we are living together even if we don't have sex? If you believe it a sin, please give biblical support for your answer. Please don't mention how it's a sexual temptation....because, in this case, it honestly isn't.
I'm not super human and neither is he and i normally probably wouldn't be able to live together with someone else without succumbing to sex, but, for some or many reasons, abstinence is firmly established in our relationship. Perhaps it's the holy spirit, our commitment to obedience or a side effect of the medications we both take....i don't know.
I honestly feel like my conscience is clear of any wrong doing since we are saving our bodies in this way. I feel like we have a very good and healthy relationship in that we have always made God the center of it and have really cultivated something beautiful....the likes of which i have never known. We pray together regularly and are very committed to the spiritual build up of one another. Anyway...this is beside the point. I just want opinions and hear out what others have to say. Please keep in mind that i don't believe that 2 christians living together is generally a good idea, but i also realize that each individual case must be looked at separately which is why i explained in some detail my situation.
Anyway, our intention was never to live together, but the reason this happened is a long and complicated story......mostly due to financial difficulties and some emergency situations outside our doing. In a nutshell, he moved to my area out of state with no money due to an unforeseen and sudden decision he had to make regarding his living situation. (he was planning on coming here once he finished school and with some money to set himself up etc.) This plan was cut short due to some violent occurances where he was living that just made it impossible to live there. (crazy drug addict room mate). He had very little money and no where to go so i offered to help him find a job and a place once he got here.
Meanwhile, at the time when i met him, i was living with my mother and on disability due to a medical condition that i developed in the last 6 yrs. which prevents me from working. I lived with her for 3 yrs. while i got treatment since my income couldn't afford me my own place. Living with my mother was very difficult since she has a lot of mental issues (paranoid and delusional) and can become very controlling and even violent. I had to put up with it because i simply had no choice since my disability income just wasn't enough to afford the high rents where i live.
Anyway after he told me what had happened with his living situation, i told my bf to come to my area, stay at a hotel and i would help him find a job etc. Well, long story short, i helped him apply everywhere and he was able to get a freelance gig doing some graphics design work that he was able to do using my computer since i had the software he needed. Well, that fell through as soon as my mom started up with her craziness. Her paranoia kicked in and she falsely accused my bf of being a con artist and stealing her credit card blah, blah blah. She even stole my flash drive containing our emails so as to show the FBI as evidence. Knowing how i know my mother, she pretty much couldn't deal with the fact that i was giving my attentions to someone else and she could not control me. Oh yes, and did i mention that i'm almost 40 yrs. old.?...lol....My mother infantilizes me and has such difficulty with seeing me do my own thing. As a side note....i've been on my own since college, but only had to move in with her for 3 yrs. due to my illness. Anyway, after a lot of chaos at my mom's apt. we got into an argument and she ended up throwing me out in the dead of winter. I had no where else to go so i lived with my bf at the hotel he was staying at. He of course lost that freelance job he got since he no longer could use my computer. The little money he came with ran out and for 4 months we paid the hotel on the little money i had from disability. This barely made ends meet and there were times that we had to sleep in my car because we couldn't even afford hotel costs. Since he didn't even have the proper clothes for a proffesional interview (since he left in a hurry), he couldn't even apply to any good paying jobs. He applied everywhere and still nothing. Finally he got a crappy part time job at staples for 3 weeks, but was told not to come back unless he had black dress shoes which he couldn't afford. As you can imagine, this was a very difficult situation that i had never been in in my entire life. As desperate and as stressful as it all was, we both hung in there and depended on god a lot. God really came thru miraculously on many occasions by providing for us just at the last minute. We really learned a lot and drew closer to him thru prayer.
Finally things started looking up when my brother was able to pull a few strings with the mayor of our town and i was able to get an apt. at this low income housing unit that had just been built. The rent was affordable and best of all, they allowed me to keep my 2 large dogs who are like children to me. Ok, so we finally got rid of the pressure of housing costs and moved in to this apt. My boyfriend was able to finally secure a permanent job after doing a lot of temp. free lance stuff for a while. He is finally now in a position to afford living on his own, but since we want to get married, we both feel that it would happen quicker if we just continue living together in order to save up for wedding. Nothing fancy or grand, but something nice enough to be memorable.
Now my question to the forum is: Do you think it's a sin that we are living together even if we don't have sex? If you believe it a sin, please give biblical support for your answer. Please don't mention how it's a sexual temptation....because, in this case, it honestly isn't.
I'm not super human and neither is he and i normally probably wouldn't be able to live together with someone else without succumbing to sex, but, for some or many reasons, abstinence is firmly established in our relationship. Perhaps it's the holy spirit, our commitment to obedience or a side effect of the medications we both take....i don't know.
I honestly feel like my conscience is clear of any wrong doing since we are saving our bodies in this way. I feel like we have a very good and healthy relationship in that we have always made God the center of it and have really cultivated something beautiful....the likes of which i have never known. We pray together regularly and are very committed to the spiritual build up of one another. Anyway...this is beside the point. I just want opinions and hear out what others have to say. Please keep in mind that i don't believe that 2 christians living together is generally a good idea, but i also realize that each individual case must be looked at separately which is why i explained in some detail my situation.
