my and my bf of 4 years were saying that maybe the last part of college we would move in together.. this was cool back then. but now its not.. cause i am converted..
why exactly is it bad... i asked a man who is SDA once and mostly he response came down to what other PPL would say!! lol.. should i really care in a situation like this what other ppl say. i can just imagine the hypocritical pastors calling out my situation in the church sermon..
"they say they are christian but they are having sex, sleeping in the same bed etc" lol. and even if i sleep in the same bed. so what. dont i know my boundaries. when i see him nowadays we still ly down and chat.. in the same bed..... since i became a christin its not like we have to be on the two farther ends of the dinning table to talk.. but i know my boundaries...
so really. is there a problem with living together before marriage..
i think majoritiy of long relationship ending with a short marriage and divorce is due to this problem. u dont know the real side of someone til u have lived with them. i would like to live in the same space to see if i could cope.. then make the commitment
Hi Dania!
I wonder if a more significant issue is the separation of physical intimacy from overall intimacy. When you isolate one aspect of falling in love, like sex, it's no longer holistic. I suspect this contributes to the sexual dysfunction in so many marriages.
When couples date for years without incorporating the natural evolution of physical love, there's often no way to work it in so to speak later. Union, when multi-dimensional, is very much like a death and rebirth. The cosmos truly moves in the instant of coming together, anew, as one. For many couples who have never moved beyond a more primitive version, physical building and release with a small emotional component, they have no way of knowing what's possible. And often is very difficult for more sophisticated intimacy to develop, because it did not do so naturally.
Sex can be such a powerful, intimate experience that it can affect a couple at many levels for days! Not just seconds! A multi-dimensional, euphoric peace it's truly extraordinary.
Having said that, religious programming is good at creating guilt, which is de-constructive. So, if living together, or anything else, makes someone feel guilty they shouldn't do it.
I was around an Adventist couple last year that had "gone out" for almost two years and had made the choice to not have any physical contact like even holding hands. Certainly not kissing! Interesting.
that seemed to be the defining thing, from my perspective.
