Light Bulb Theology

[MizDoulos]

How many religious people does it take to change a lightbulb?


Charismatics--Only one. Hands already in the air.

Pentecostals--10. One to change the bulb and 9 to pray against
the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians--None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Catholics--None. Candles only.

Baptists--At least 15. One to change the bulb and 3 committees
to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.

Mormans--5. One man to change the bulb and 4 wives to tell him
how to do it.

Unitarians--We choose not to make a statement either in favor
or against the need for a light bulb. However if in your own
journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is
fine. On Sunday, we will explore a number of light bulb traditions,
including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, and long-life, all
of which are equally valid pathways to luminescence.

Methodists--Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull
or completely out, you are loved.

Lutherans--None. We don't believe in change

Amish--what's a light bulb?

 

[Erwin]

LOL!!! Very good!

 

[MizDoulos]

Thanks, Erwin!&nbspWhen I first read it, I thought it was a scream myself. LOL

 

[Kookaburra]

Three of my favourite "How many . . . lightbulb" jokes:

Blondes:
How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five. One to hold the bulb while the other four turn the stool she's standing on.

Football Players:
How many football players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Four hundred and one. One to hold the lightbulb, and one hundred to each wall of the house to turn it.

Psychologists:
How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one. But it really has to WANT to change.

 

[SoccerAaron]

ROTFL

 

[MizDoulos]

Good going, Kookaburra!

 

[Toxic-Jubilee]

lol i am a baptists and i just whant to say we also need to know who brings the KFC you cant change a light bulb with out KFC and coke to . lol

 

[stumpsitting101]

A Church Body came together to decide whether to buy a Chandelier for the Church Building. During the debate, pro and con, an elderly gentleman stood up and say "Absolutely no, the Church does not need any Chandelier". The Chairperson responded to the gentleman to give three reasons for his disapproving of the Chandelier.
The gentleman replied: (1) No one in this Church can spell Chandelier.
(2) No one in this Church knows how to play one, either. (3) Besides, The Church is in much need of lighting right now.

 

[geocajun]

very good!

 

[reeann]

Hey Toxic, in my old church, it was a given that the owner of Chic Fila would bring the chicken, *grins*

Funny stuff

 

[MizDoulos]

11th February 2003 at 10:09 AM Toxic-Jubilee said this in Post #7 (http://www.christianforums.com/showthread.php?postid=646583#post646583)

lol i am a baptists and i just whant to say we also need to know who brings the KFC you cant change a light bulb with out KFC and coke to . lol

So true!&nbsp I come from a Baptist background, too.

A Church Body came together to decide whether to buy a Chandelier for the Church Building. During the debate, pro and con, an elderly gentleman stood up and say "Absolutely no, the Church does not need any Chandelier". The Chairperson responded to the gentleman to give three reasons for his disapproving of the Chandelier.

That's funny!

 

[hanaya]

The Baptist one I know is this:
How Many Baptists does it take to changea lightbulb?
Change? Change?! My grandfather donated that lightbulb!

-Hanaya

 

[stumpsitting101]

Who needs lightbulbs, when illumination is by Son Light.

Hanaya, that's cute, yet it is not just the Baptist.