Light at the end of the tunnel?

[ChildByGrace]

I was wondering if there is going to be a light at the end of the tunnel any time soon.

DS is 3 1/2 and has been having 'terrible two's since he was 1 1/2! I know that what he is doing is pushing the boundaries and seeing what he can get away with, but it's wearing me out.

I love the fact that he has such a strong will and I know that is a good charactor trait to have but in a three year old..........lol

We have tried various means of discipline and nothing seems to work on him. When I say we tried various things, I don't mean that we chop and change methods. I know that you just confused a child keeping switching methods. So we've tried something for several months until it's obvious it isn't working. Currently we are trying the 3 chances then a time out on the stairs. This seems to be going ok but I'm not sure I can deal with it if it doesn't work. I really feel like giving up and letting him do what he wants but I know that in the long run it'll be worse if I do.

I don't think I'm looking for any advice in discipline, just to know that this stage will be over at some point, soon hopefully!!

 

[CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN]

When u put him in timeout,U explain what he did wrong,Right.I watch a 2 1/2 yearold,he major drama,but I explain what he did wrong..I also think the more he understants,the more he'll get the rules better,that's when it will get better.I wouldn't stop with the rules..Most kids I watched didn't seem to go thru the terrible 2 stage,like the one I watch now.

 

[ChildByGrace]

Yeah-he gets told why he's going in time out and when he's finished I get him to confirm why I put him there and he always tells me the right thing.

 

[CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN]

Yeah-he gets told why he's going in time out and when he's finished I get him to confirm why I put him there and he always tells me the right thing.

Then u might be closer to him getting out of this stage,Is he a very emotional child,I know the one I take care is very emotional and sinsitive.

 

[ChildByGrace]

I hope so. I just feel there's no let up of bad behaviour sometimes. He spent fri and sat at my parents and was apparently very well behaved!


I'm not sure if I'd say he is emotional but he is sensitive!

 

[LovesToBless]

Hi CBG - Just stopped by the parenting section for a change and saw your question.

You sound so much like you're describing my son as a little boy. He really gave me a run for my money so to speak!

One thing that helped was trying to get him out and worn out...such as at the playground. Him running himself ragged was a lot what he needed. As he got older, he developed an interest in sports, which he still has today. (He's 23)

The thing about having a strong will is, as you said, a good thing, but it's frustrating to deal with. But as a word of encouragement to you and others...we tried hard to channel it as best we could and now..he still has a strong will, and we see it paying off in things like his faith and his morals.

But yes, it can be very trying emotionally...I recall that very clearly.

 

[ChildByGrace]

Thanks for the encouragement Loves.
He does go to playschool 3 mornings a week-I could send him more but I don't want to loose him into the school system earlier than I need to. He starts school proper in September and I honestly think he'll be better then.

I'm feeling better than I did when I started this thread. We are giving him one warning and then a time out (3 warnings just wasn't working). While he is still being naughty-or rather just being a 3yo-I am feeling a lot less stressed and more in control

 

[LovesToBless]

Thanks for the encouragement Loves.
He does go to playschool 3 mornings a week-I could send him more but I don't want to loose him into the school system earlier than I need to. He starts school proper in September and I honestly think he'll be better then.

I'm feeling better than I did when I started this thread. We are giving him one warning and then a time out (3 warnings just wasn't working). While he is still being naughty-or rather just being a 3yo-I am feeling a lot less stressed and more in control

You're welcome I'm glad to read you're feeling better now and more in control. I can for sure identify with those feelings. Sometimes it seemed like everyone else's child would obey better than mine. I had one mom suggestion he might be ADD, but his pediatrician had 5 kids and assured me he was a normal little boy.

I don't blame you for not wanting to send him more sooner...totally understand that.

I noticed when responding that you also have a younger daughter. Does your son ever do his naughty things to get attention away from his sister? I only have one, so I'm only imagining a little child might do that at times, not from my own experience.

I know it's cliche, but...they group up SO fast and I smile when I think of my "baby" back at that age. Now he's got a beard and a moustache and ...well those "little hands" are now bigger than mine.

Honestly, we still drive each other crazy, (as we're both strong-willed!) but it's quite a wonder seeing him grow up and become the man God wants him to be. Every single stage has it's challenges for sure, that's part of life and relying on God and I'm still at it as the mom of an adult.

 

[bliz5]

I may not have the title 100% right, but "How to talk so children will listen and how to listen so children will talk" is a great book with very concrete advice and examples.

My other thought is, where is he allowed to exercise his will? You are wise to see that this a trait that will serve him well in years to come, and he needs opprtunnities to to assert his will now. Choosing which of several shirts to wear... what's for dinner...the order in which you do tasks... etc.

 

[ChildByGrace]

Loves-yes I have a daughter. TBH he is pretty good with her. The only time he really gets jealous is when I'm feeding her-as it's only twice a day now (and one of those is when DS is asleep) it's not an issue anymore.

Bliz-yes he gets to choose things like the top he's going to wear or what piece of fruit he has after dinner etc