- May 4, 2009
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Hey everyone!
I know there will be many that don't read this b/c it's so long and I apologize for that. But this is something that was on my heart which I felt led to share...
Ok, so I do this once in a while. I will share something (on here) that I've been through in the hopes that even just one person will obtain a message that speaks to their heart. I have been a Christian my whole life, but only knowing few other believers in the process. My parents never submitted to Christ, in fact only my cousin who led me to the Lord was saved. In this uniqueness of a "one of a kind" in a large family, I've learned many rare lessons that I love to share with others willing to listen.
Today I'd like to share my story about being a once shy young man of low confidence, with anxiety in social situations, and the dreadful thought of being placed in a spot light for God. And how the Lord brought me through mine fields of social interaction, wars with in myself, learning how to tango with believers and non-alike and ultimitely obtaining a confidence that shines with a radiance that only a certain God-filled journey could relinquish. I am a humble, down to earth man, but a man to be respected, not because of who I am or what I've done but because of what God has done with, through and for me. This confidence I have now was given through learning about truth, this is a God confidence, truly a confidence that is in knowing what Christ has said about me.
Not to blast you with a spiritual bomb, there are many practical avenues I took in overcoming my trials of being a bashful, and timid youth. Honestly, I think it best if I cut strait to the point here. Growing up, I never thought highly of myself. I was always limited in my potential. My parents weren't degrading but they never expected anything special from me. It was the bear minimum approach for me. I passed math with a D... good job, you passed. I was in a social setting, maybe a holiday get together, ok I talked to a few of my cousins... can I go now? I'm racing against all my friends, what's that? I got last, but heeeey I finished, right?? There was a lack of this guy named motivation running around in my life. You see, to me that was alright, because all I knew was that I had to do something so I would do it to the least of my ability to get it over with.
So what gives, right? What does that have to do with my shell of a self? One who would freak if I had to give a presentation in front of a class. One who would say the weirdest things to girls, as in girls... my sister or aunt or grandma because yeah, I was that ridiculous at handling conversations. Could you imagine me talking to "gasp" a girl who I wasn't related too? Of course you couldn't, that would melt your brain. On another note, forget trying to witness, whenever I was around non-believing friends the best I could do was not join them in cussing or stay away from parties. Every so often I would do my best to share the gospel with them and hahaha boy did it sound funny. So where am I going with this? What's this guy trying to say? Well, hold onto your mouse and try not to fall of your seat with great anticipation.
Do you remember me saying I was a Christian at an early age? Cool, me too. Well, God in His unlimited wisdom and endless grace was doing something with me, a start to something great, that ultimitley would bring him glory. I went through many years as the awkward kid who would say things that would make "the most interesting man in the world" blush in embarrasment. But! Soon came a point where God was telling me I need to change a few things, I need to know who I really am, and what I was really capable of! Ohhh, now we're getting to the good stuff.
It all started about 4-5 years ago. I was a couple years into college and I recieved a wake up call that would change my perspective forever. I knew I needed to change my outlook. Things always seemed depressing, I had no direction with life. Yeah, I was a Christian, yeah I would spend eternity with the coolest God ever, but man... I have work to do here, and I was determined to do it right! FIRST, my shyness just had to go. No more staring at the ground when I talk to a clerk in a store, no more speaking like this, BUT LIKE THIS! So I prayed and I PRAYED. "God" I said, "Please, take away my shyness, please help me to be more vocal, let it be done to glorifly you". No I didn't wake up the next morning to find I had a voice of an angel that could peirce the hearts of many. But I did start doing research, God started opening doors in my life, doors that would teach me how to behave and act. I read and watched videos on how to become more outgoing, and most importantly, I learned about what God said about me in His word. He didn't make no slacker!!! I read countless verses that would change the way I thought. Scripture had equipped and enabled me.
Ok, so God says I can do this, Ok in Phillipians it says I can do all things in Christ which strengthen me... ok yeah, alright cool. This video says I should keep placing myself in social situations and conversations will just flow better. Ok, I need to give eye contact more. Ok this book says I need have a certain tone in my voice. God spoke to my heart one night after prayer, he said I need to behave confidently and overtime it will become me. Ok so I need to think more positive and make it a habit, not dwelling on negetive thoughts about myself. BAM, BAM, BAM... one thing after another through the last 4 years and what do you know, God is changing the very foundation of who I am. Not because of what I did but because of his unlimited grace filled love. Yeah I was obedient, yes I asked him in prayer to help, and it was my submission to him that led him to do these things, but it was HIM that did these things.
Now when I'm out I am confident. I have many friends, Christians and non Christians. When I'm with my Christian friends, I am a leader, I am influential, I am an encourager. When its time with my non believing buds, I have found a balance of a God given confidence filled with wisdom and discernment, that has allowed me to learn how to build relationships and sprinkle a genuine Christ centered care in their life. I speak to them about God, and it is spirit filled and Confidently led, but done in a loving and gentle way. Now when I take a test in college or study the word, or any other activity I take upon myself, I do it with excellence to glorify Jesus. At my job I will go above and beyond all in HIS name. I lead a bible study for my church, and I'm on the ministry team for young adults for a church of 3,000. And it's not a confidence in myself that opened up these responsibilities, BUT a confidence in knowing the truth about what God says about us as believer. He has equipped us, enabled us and is preparing us for great things for his kingdom, and all glory is given unto him.
I know there will be many that don't read this b/c it's so long and I apologize for that. But this is something that was on my heart which I felt led to share...
Ok, so I do this once in a while. I will share something (on here) that I've been through in the hopes that even just one person will obtain a message that speaks to their heart. I have been a Christian my whole life, but only knowing few other believers in the process. My parents never submitted to Christ, in fact only my cousin who led me to the Lord was saved. In this uniqueness of a "one of a kind" in a large family, I've learned many rare lessons that I love to share with others willing to listen.
Today I'd like to share my story about being a once shy young man of low confidence, with anxiety in social situations, and the dreadful thought of being placed in a spot light for God. And how the Lord brought me through mine fields of social interaction, wars with in myself, learning how to tango with believers and non-alike and ultimitely obtaining a confidence that shines with a radiance that only a certain God-filled journey could relinquish. I am a humble, down to earth man, but a man to be respected, not because of who I am or what I've done but because of what God has done with, through and for me. This confidence I have now was given through learning about truth, this is a God confidence, truly a confidence that is in knowing what Christ has said about me.
Not to blast you with a spiritual bomb, there are many practical avenues I took in overcoming my trials of being a bashful, and timid youth. Honestly, I think it best if I cut strait to the point here. Growing up, I never thought highly of myself. I was always limited in my potential. My parents weren't degrading but they never expected anything special from me. It was the bear minimum approach for me. I passed math with a D... good job, you passed. I was in a social setting, maybe a holiday get together, ok I talked to a few of my cousins... can I go now? I'm racing against all my friends, what's that? I got last, but heeeey I finished, right?? There was a lack of this guy named motivation running around in my life. You see, to me that was alright, because all I knew was that I had to do something so I would do it to the least of my ability to get it over with.
So what gives, right? What does that have to do with my shell of a self? One who would freak if I had to give a presentation in front of a class. One who would say the weirdest things to girls, as in girls... my sister or aunt or grandma because yeah, I was that ridiculous at handling conversations. Could you imagine me talking to "gasp" a girl who I wasn't related too? Of course you couldn't, that would melt your brain. On another note, forget trying to witness, whenever I was around non-believing friends the best I could do was not join them in cussing or stay away from parties. Every so often I would do my best to share the gospel with them and hahaha boy did it sound funny. So where am I going with this? What's this guy trying to say? Well, hold onto your mouse and try not to fall of your seat with great anticipation.
Do you remember me saying I was a Christian at an early age? Cool, me too. Well, God in His unlimited wisdom and endless grace was doing something with me, a start to something great, that ultimitley would bring him glory. I went through many years as the awkward kid who would say things that would make "the most interesting man in the world" blush in embarrasment. But! Soon came a point where God was telling me I need to change a few things, I need to know who I really am, and what I was really capable of! Ohhh, now we're getting to the good stuff.
It all started about 4-5 years ago. I was a couple years into college and I recieved a wake up call that would change my perspective forever. I knew I needed to change my outlook. Things always seemed depressing, I had no direction with life. Yeah, I was a Christian, yeah I would spend eternity with the coolest God ever, but man... I have work to do here, and I was determined to do it right! FIRST, my shyness just had to go. No more staring at the ground when I talk to a clerk in a store, no more speaking like this, BUT LIKE THIS! So I prayed and I PRAYED. "God" I said, "Please, take away my shyness, please help me to be more vocal, let it be done to glorifly you". No I didn't wake up the next morning to find I had a voice of an angel that could peirce the hearts of many. But I did start doing research, God started opening doors in my life, doors that would teach me how to behave and act. I read and watched videos on how to become more outgoing, and most importantly, I learned about what God said about me in His word. He didn't make no slacker!!! I read countless verses that would change the way I thought. Scripture had equipped and enabled me.
Ok, so God says I can do this, Ok in Phillipians it says I can do all things in Christ which strengthen me... ok yeah, alright cool. This video says I should keep placing myself in social situations and conversations will just flow better. Ok, I need to give eye contact more. Ok this book says I need have a certain tone in my voice. God spoke to my heart one night after prayer, he said I need to behave confidently and overtime it will become me. Ok so I need to think more positive and make it a habit, not dwelling on negetive thoughts about myself. BAM, BAM, BAM... one thing after another through the last 4 years and what do you know, God is changing the very foundation of who I am. Not because of what I did but because of his unlimited grace filled love. Yeah I was obedient, yes I asked him in prayer to help, and it was my submission to him that led him to do these things, but it was HIM that did these things.
Now when I'm out I am confident. I have many friends, Christians and non Christians. When I'm with my Christian friends, I am a leader, I am influential, I am an encourager. When its time with my non believing buds, I have found a balance of a God given confidence filled with wisdom and discernment, that has allowed me to learn how to build relationships and sprinkle a genuine Christ centered care in their life. I speak to them about God, and it is spirit filled and Confidently led, but done in a loving and gentle way. Now when I take a test in college or study the word, or any other activity I take upon myself, I do it with excellence to glorify Jesus. At my job I will go above and beyond all in HIS name. I lead a bible study for my church, and I'm on the ministry team for young adults for a church of 3,000. And it's not a confidence in myself that opened up these responsibilities, BUT a confidence in knowing the truth about what God says about us as believer. He has equipped us, enabled us and is preparing us for great things for his kingdom, and all glory is given unto him.
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