lies...

[heavenliejediofthebeach]

once they start, the vicious lies,
they grow naked wings, wings that barely match that of flies
only the reeper of a mind explosion,
inside the heart, a painfull implosion
do we ever learn???
when do we know when to turn?
is there only a void of black?
what is it we lack?
cruel to them, to ourselves,
take me to the days of the elves,
when there peace
and love would never cease
i wait for the days
when the Lord's light will fully ablaze,
never a worry, never a pain
never on the grass could we see the streak of a yellow stain
when is this process of inevitable dealing?
the smiles of a heart..the sounds of a healing?
do not rush me...
things are still not clear, only fog, still a bit blurry.....


















ugh, never lie to yourself.........

 

[Quixotic the Pedestrian]

hey heaven, you know I adore you're poetry, because I love reading words spoken on emotion. I think it's incredibly beautiful. You remind me of a fellow spoken word poet named Saul Williams at times.

I think one thing you might try to work on a little is your rhyming. A lot of times things sound better when they don't rhyme exactly... for instance green --> checking or lip --> exist. You might try to do some inner rhyming too... I dunno, I'm just brainstorming. Here is a quick example (and not the most clever of lines)
---
only the reeper of a mind exploSION,
inside the heart, a painfull imploSION
> using troJAN horses for our promoTIONS
---
Everybody has their own style of writing, so keep doing what your doing.

Have you ever listened to Lauren Hill before?

 

[heavenliejediofthebeach]

hey heaven, you know I adore you're poetry, because I love reading words spoken on emotion. I think it's incredibly beautiful. You remind me of a fellow spoken word poet named Saul Williams at times.

I think one thing you might try to work on a little is your rhyming. A lot of times things sound better when they don't rhyme exactly... for instance green --> checking or lip --> exist. You might try to do some inner rhyming too... I dunno, I'm just brainstorming. Here is a quick example (and not the most clever of lines)
---
only the reeper of a mind exploSION,
inside the heart, a painfull imploSION
> using troJAN horses for our promoTIONS
---
Everybody has their own style of writing, so keep doing what your doing.

Have you ever listened to Lauren Hill before?

thx for the advice..i like one of her songs but thats all..im not into the whole non existant rymes, i mean im not so realistic of a person but i keep the rymes real...im about to work on another...im trying to get out as much pain as i can..poetry works sometimes u kno?

 

[Quixotic the Pedestrian]

yeah, the emotional release is much more important than the poems themselves more times than not. If this is your silent solace, then don't change it for anything