Letting go and giving it all to God

[cloudstrife007]

Ive been struggling with stopping myself from liking a sister in Christ for 10 months now. And it's been hard. I expressed my interest to her and got rejected being told we don't really understand each other. The next night she ends up telling me hadn't gotten over her previous relationship yet. But in the past 10 months our friendship has gone on a roller coaster ride from me trying to support her with the death of her grandmother to her being teased about considering me as a partner, to us not really talking to each other in person at church and at small groups.

It doesn't for a second feel like she has had any interest in me but my feelings have not gone away. I try my best to be loving but not overwhelming. And I try to keep myself focused on other things particularly God. But it doesn't feel like my stubborn heart is letting go of the matter. God isn't a genie and he knows what's best, even if I don't understand it. How do I truly give it all to God?

 

[BFine]

Stop putting the main focus on getting over liking that girl at church...instead
turn yourself back to your faith walk/relationship with the Lord, incorporate
others in your life; guide/lead your heart using the Word of God.

Slowly step back from trying to maintain a relationship
with a girl who isn't interested.

 

[aiki]

It doesn't for a second feel like she has had any interest in me but my feelings have not gone away. I try my best to be loving but not overwhelming. And I try to keep myself focused on other things particularly God. But it doesn't feel like my stubborn heart is letting go of the matter. God isn't a genie and he knows what's best, even if I don't understand it. How do I truly give it all to God?

It might be of value to remind yourself of what love truly is - and is not. Love does not seek its own. That is, one who loves does not pursue their own interests above those of another. Love requires that you serve her interests before your own - even if that means letting her go. THere's no harm in having strong feelings about this person. It is inappropriate, however, to allow those feelings to push you into making a nuisance of yourself, being an unwanted presence, in her life.

Giving it all to God doesn't necessarily mean you will be instantly relieved of the strong feelings you have for this woman. Your feelings may require some time to cool and change. It is possible to acknowledge and trust that God is working all things out for your good just as He has promised (Ro. 8:28) even though your feelings remain unrequited. There will be many times when what you want - and want badly - God will not give to you. Its at these times we must stand upon our knowledge of God's love and wisdom and trust that He truly knows best. This isn't a matter of what we feel, though, but, rather, what we know and choose to believe.

Selah.

 

[paul1149]

I would divide this between two realms. In the natural, the relationship was too unstable to be of any use. The door is closed.

That, however, does not necessarily mean the door is closed in the supernatural. There may be grace to keep praying on it. Use this situation to draw near to God, and approach His throne of grace for help in time of need. If you are willing to accept whatever judgment He may render, you will be shown the right way to go (Jn 7.17). that's much better than trying to force your heart into some shape that it has no intention on conforming to. Keeping in mind the description of God's wisdom in James 3, keep seeking God's peace and wisdom. And when you find it, pursue it. In time you will either grow out of your feelings, or everyone will change so that what you seek can happen in God's will.

It all begins with a willingness to either let it go or pick it up – whichever God desires. He will guide you from there, and give you the strength and spiritual growth to achieve whatever is necessary.

 

[suzybeezy]

The best relationships develop out of friendship first. Instead of focusing on the desires of your heart, focus on just being her friend. If its part of the Lords will to make it more, things will slowly start to progress that way on their own. Otherwise, you'll have a great friend and the Lord will send the person he intends for you in His timing.

 

[Ark100]

You may not even be in love with her. You may be consumed by the fact that she rejected you in a way.
Some people mistake this for love. And then when you finally get the chance to be in her life like you always wanted, you lose interest.
I think you need to turn to God and keep...not stop, keep praying to Him to draw you close to Him.
If you draw close to the Lord, and He draws close to you, this will not be an issue for you. If God is your number one, the other things will come second and The Lord''s will for your life will be paramount to any other thoughts and flesh will.
Surrender all to God by allowing Him to intervene. Let Him heal your broken heart. Know in your heart that the will of God for you is better than any other will, and let go of the thoughts about this sister, by constantly praying, praising and giving it all to God. It may take a while or a short time, but know that God will help you

 

[cloudstrife007]

Thanks for the words guys
From day one after rejection, I have tried to being who Ive always been to all my brothers and sisters in Christ - trying to encourage them in godliness and trying to care. My only interaction with her nowadays are how are you going, how are your girls from small group going, what can I pray for you about?
I've spent more time than ever in looking after the guys in my small group and at church. Its not like I lock myself up at home all the time and act all emo, I pack my days with uni, with reading the bible, reading Christian books, hang out with high school friends, uni friends, the boys from my small group and even spent time with other sisters in Christ to get myself out there a bit.
I haven't ceased praying or forgetting who God is and His importance in my life. It's just that the feelings haven't gone and I've been hurting for a while and needing some relief from it. Never will He leave me never will He forsake me. Jesus is my Lord.

 

[tangled]

But it doesn't feel like my stubborn heart is letting go of the matter. God isn't a genie and he knows what's best, even if I don't understand it. How do I truly give it all to God?

Patience .

As far as I can see, three things can happen while you wait for God to do His will:

1. God's reaping.
2. your "stubborn heart letting go of the matter"
3. God gifting you with the girl that you want

All of them are good, so wait for one of them --and keep waiting until you get one. And while you wait, keep trying to improve into the person that God wants you to be <3

Remember:

http://bible.cc/proverbs/16-9.htm

You may keep planning for your "stubborn heart" to let go of the matter but it's up to God which (and when) plans come to fruition.

 

[Pal Handy]

Ive been struggling with stopping myself from liking a sister in Christ for 10 months now. And it's been hard. I expressed my interest to her and got rejected being told we don't really understand each other. The next night she ends up telling me hadn't gotten over her previous relationship yet. But in the past 10 months our friendship has gone on a roller coaster ride from me trying to support her with the death of her grandmother to her being teased about considering me as a partner, to us not really talking to each other in person at church and at small groups.

It doesn't for a second feel like she has had any interest in me but my feelings have not gone away. I try my best to be loving but not overwhelming. And I try to keep myself focused on other things particularly God. But it doesn't feel like my stubborn heart is letting go of the matter. God isn't a genie and he knows what's best, even if I don't understand it. How do I truly give it all to God?

Being obsessed with her will only lead you to disappointment and pain.
Get away from her and meet new people.
Don't think she is the only one when she is playing with your feelings
and being disrespectful of your advances.

If you keep obsessing, you are not growing and developing as a person
and you may miss out on meeting someone else while you carry around
a torch for someone who will never consider you as a mate.

Learn from her by seeing her clearly through eyes unclouded by obsession
and ask yourself if the way she has treated you is an indicator of the kind
of person you want to be with?

Don't you want to be with someone like you who is kind and supportive and
will comfort someone going through a diffcult time?

Or do you want to be with someone who will pretend to be supportive
just to get what they want out of a relationship based on their own
selfish and self seeking desires that have nothing to do with true love
but a false and obsessive kind of love that desires self gratification.

If you truly love this person, let her go and pray for her and
desire that she would find the best person for herself, even if it
is not you, and ask God to prepare you for the person He would
desire to bring into your life.

Go to God and ask Him to bring the right person into your life
as you let this current infatuation go and allow God to bless
you as you have faith that He has a better plan for your life than
the one you could possibly construct, if you will trust in Him and let
go of this person and pray for her.

 

[vortigen84]

Ive been struggling with stopping myself from liking a sister in Christ for 10 months now. And it's been hard. I expressed my interest to her and got rejected being told we don't really understand each other. The next night she ends up telling me hadn't gotten over her previous relationship yet. But in the past 10 months our friendship has gone on a roller coaster ride from me trying to support her with the death of her grandmother to her being teased about considering me as a partner, to us not really talking to each other in person at church and at small groups.

It doesn't for a second feel like she has had any interest in me but my feelings have not gone away. I try my best to be loving but not overwhelming. And I try to keep myself focused on other things particularly God. But it doesn't feel like my stubborn heart is letting go of the matter. God isn't a genie and he knows what's best, even if I don't understand it. How do I truly give it all to God?

What you're experiencing is called "unrequited love."

You can't have her, you don't need her, she's declared she's not interested, so don't fantasize about it or chase her. Get a life and move on.

 

[Mr. 5020]

Ive been struggling with stopping myself from liking a sister in Christ for 10 months now. And it's been hard. I expressed my interest to her and got rejected being told we don't really understand each other. The next night she ends up telling me hadn't gotten over her previous relationship yet. But in the past 10 months our friendship has gone on a roller coaster ride from me trying to support her with the death of her grandmother to her being teased about considering me as a partner, to us not really talking to each other in person at church and at small groups.

It doesn't for a second feel like she has had any interest in me but my feelings have not gone away. I try my best to be loving but not overwhelming. And I try to keep myself focused on other things particularly God. But it doesn't feel like my stubborn heart is letting go of the matter. God isn't a genie and he knows what's best, even if I don't understand it. How do I truly give it all to God?

A lot of people here have given good advice. I would recommend reading Boundaries. If you can't afford it, it's available in most public libraries.

Amazon.com: Boundaries: When to Say YES, When to Say NO, To Take Control of Your Life (9780310585909): Henry Cloud, John Townsend: Books