Letting children decide for themselves

[CoderHead]

Now that I'm grown, and have a child of my own, we go to services at a Unitarian-Universalist church. Which works out great, because my beliefs can best be described as 'agnostic pagan', and UUs celebrate all beliefs and practices (at least, my church does). My wife and I sit in the service, and our daughter goes to Religious Education where she learns about all of the world religions and their repspective beliefs.

What do/will you do if she states an objection to attending this church?

 

[katautumn]

I guess I don't get the whole, "it's cruel to teach your children God exists", but it's perfectly fine to tell your children, "God's a myth" when they express an interest in things of the faith. *shrugs* To each their own. I don't have a problem with what people want to teach their kids, but it gets a bit dicey when we start pulling the 'ol, "well that's just bad parenting!" It is an exceptionally rare occurrence for children raised in homes where either religion or lack thereof is foisted upon them by the parents to grow up mentally traumatized.

 

[CoderHead]

I guess I don't get the whole, "it's cruel to teach your children God exists", but it's perfectly fine to tell your children, "God's a myth" when they express an interest in things of the faith.

It's not cruel to teach your children that a God or gods may exist, if it's done in a way that they are free to determine which god(s) it is and how it affects their life. It is cruel to teach your children that a loving God will send you to burn in a lake of fire forever and ever if you don't recite a prayer, go to church on Sunday, and give 10% of your earnings. They don't understand what you're talking about, it's just a scare tactic to get them to believe what you do.

If my children express an interest in "things of the faith" then I'll explain to them that it's not what I personally believe but that I'll help them explore it to the best of my ability, so long as it doesn't bring them harm. Even if those "things of the faith" happen to be Scientology or The-World-Revolves-Around-Me-ism.

 

[levi501]

Parents are abusive and immoral when then represent something as factual when it isn't demonstrably so. You can share your faith with your children but don't mischaracterize it as anything more. You don't know it's true no matter how deeply convicted you are and to represent it as such is lying.

 

[Sarniaroses]

It's not cruel to teach your children that a God or gods may exist, if it's done in a way that they are free to determine which god(s) it is and how it affects their life. It is cruel to teach your children that a loving God will send you to burn in a lake of fire forever and ever if you don't recite a prayer, go to church on Sunday, and give 10% of your earnings. They don't understand what you're talking about, it's just a scare tactic to get them to believe what you do.

If my children express an interest in "things of the faith" then I'll explain to them that it's not what I personally believe but that I'll help them explore it to the best of my ability, so long as it doesn't bring them harm. Even if those "things of the faith" happen to be Scientology or The-World-Revolves-Around-Me-ism.

Good post.

 

[FlamingFemme]

What do/will you do if she states an objection to attending this church?

Well, she's 12, and I've told her that it's her choice whether she wants to go or not. So far, she enjoys it, and she likes going. However, if she were to tell me that she didn't want to go anymore, I would respect her decision.

 

[CoderHead]

Well, she's 12, and I've told her that it's her choice whether she wants to go or not. So far, she enjoys it, and she likes going. However, if she were to tell me that she didn't want to go anymore, I would respect her decision.

Cool, just checkin'

 

[annrobert]

The divinity of Jesus is only a belief not a fact and your children should be aware of that. It should be up to them if they wish to believe in it or not, imo.

I am not going to tell my children that something that is a proven fact is only a belief,

Just because another person refuses to believe something is Truth, does not change the fact that it is Truth.

Jesus is Truth.

He proved it to the world since time began,

He proved it when He walked this earth

He proved it when He rose from the dead


and He has proven it to all believers,

He has proven Himself to myself and my children.

He has proven Himself to the world by the things created.

How many people believe that the world is round and yet have never themselves seen it,

especially before aircraft


how many people believe many things taught to them

even before they understand it


when I taught my children to read


they had to believe me when I told them what letters made what sounds


later it all made sense and they learned to read

they had to trust at first


Well Jesus has proven Himself

to the world

we have to trust

 

[annrobert]

That being said , we can only teach our children Truth,
lead them with love and kindness
and lead them by example
we cannot force them to believe.

Sometimes very sadly people get hurt by
religious people
religious parents
legalistic churches
because people are human and make mistakes
It does not change the fact that Jesus
loves us so much that He died for us
that Jesus heals the broken hearted
and sets at liberty the bruised
forgives our sins
and cleanses us from all unrighteousness
makes all things new
gives us a peace that passes understanding
heals us
restores our souls
deeply cares for us and understands us
is patient and long suffering and kind
is full of mercy
and compassion
and tenderness and gentle
is meek and lowly in heart
is all powerful
and mighty to save

if some misguided people
legalistic people
cold hearted people
or people who were themselves mislead
or hurting
or hypocritical people

hurt others
or misrepresented Jesus
that is still not the nature of Jesus

who is full of tender mercy
forgiveness
compassion
understanding
and power
and who has called and saved many

 

[CoderHead]

I am not going to tell my children that something that is a proven fact is only a belief,

But it is a belief. You take it on faith, don't you?

Just because another person refuses to believe something is Truth, does not change the fact that it is Truth.

Agreed.

Jesus is Truth.

Debatable.

How many people believe that the world is round and yet have never themselves seen it, especially before aircraft

People know the Earth is round (without faith or aircraft) because they can see the sun rising and setting in an arc from opposite sides of the horizon. They can see that the sun and moon are round with their own eyes, why would the Earth be any different? A statement like "the Earth is round" doesn't take any faith at all, and it can be proven with more than a book and some unverifiable personal experience.

how many people believe many things taught to them even before they understand it

Like Christianity? Children don't understand the concept of a loving God killing his son in order to save people from a lake of fire because two people ate fruit. Yet they're expected to believe it anyway, and sometimes even guilted into doing so by statements of disapproval from authority figures when they question it.

when I taught my children to read they had to believe me when I told them what letters made what sounds

A process with which they could experiment and verify through trial and error, and one that is clearly man-made with a specific intent for communication. There's no faith involved.

Telling your child that the symbol "T" makes a "tuh" sound is not the same as telling your child that if they don't recite a prayer, symbolically die and be resurrected in water, symbolically eat the flesh of a deity and drink His blood then they'll burn in Hell forever. Really, truly not the same.

 

[CoderHead]

That being said...

And don't take this the wrong way, but it's honestly a little painful to read your posts. Is there a reason you place so much emphasis on the Enter key?

 

[moonkitty]

And don't take this the wrong way, but it's honestly a little painful to read your posts. Is there a reason you place so much emphasis on the Enter key?

I agree. I just skip over post that are written like that.

 

[annrobert]

They can see that the sun and moon are round with their own eyes, why would the Earth be any different?

People also know that buildings and cars and airplanes and such do not just appear,they have a maker.

Why would the heavens and the earth and people be any different?

Further more as I said Jesus has proven Himself to my children and I as well as all believers.

 

[Followers4christ]

My son is seven years of age and we have discussed various religious beliefs with him since he was about four or five years old. We have never attended church, but we have discussed with our son what takes place in various churches. I hope to instill a positive, well-rounded view of various religions and then when he's older he can choose to explore any he likes more in-depth.

A christian worldview is to teach your children about the faith for you would not want them to die without ever hearing the message of hope. How sad would it be if your children died (Proverbs 19:18) in their sins without ever hearing the good news when his/her parents knew of it but just kept it from them? The bible tells parents to not let that happen, you are supposed to train and teach them in the ways of the Lord (Proverbs 22:6, Deuteronomy 6:4-7).

God chooses each parent with great care (Genesis 18:19). Parents are to give their children firm correction that will train them to obey the Lord (Colossians 3:20, Hebrews 12:11). Every parent is given the task to raise up their children to live a life of honor, integrity and discipline.
　
Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

 

[CoderHead]

People also know that buildings and cars and airplanes and such do not just appear,they have a maker.

Why would the heavens and the earth and people be any different?

Further more as I said Jesus has proven Himself to my children and I as well as all believers.

People have seen people make buildings, cars, and airplanes so there's no mystery. Plant and animal life reproduce on their own but buildings and machines don't.

God chooses each parent with great care (Genesis 18:19).

Except, of course, those unintentional "parents" who got pregnant because of irresponsibility or rape. Or even those who intentionally had children in order to milk the social welfare system and/or make money off of them. You don't think God carefully chose them, do you?

 

[david_x]

I think the whole thread is null, kids will decide for themselves and there is nothing you can do about that.