[PART TWO OF TWO]
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[FONT="]A Voice of Truth, an Outreach of Authenticity[/FONT]
[FONT="]Having rejected and punished myself for being sexually challenged, I finally understand that the core of my addiction was denial. Because I perceived myself as lesser than those who had taunted and emotionally beat me, I had been crushed beneath the chains of my own guilt and unable to accept not only my sexual challenges, but also my Christian progression. Furthermore, I continually rejected those who ‘loved’ me and wanted to see the best for me.[/FONT]
[FONT="]My understanding of human sexuality has been full of emotions ... I was living life as a juggler, juggling the ‘Ultra-Humanistic Life’ through sexual perversion and still trying to live a ‘Life of Faith’. I realize now that I had spent my life as a juggler of morals, ethics, and authentic truth. Ultimately, I was fearful of involvement or commitment to the Church, Family, and most of all ... God![/FONT]
[FONT="]I had prayed many times about my sexual challenges and wild emotions; yet, years of unanswered prayers had left me feeling rejected by God and all alone. Why would God allow me to suffer such anguish and failure? [/FONT]
[FONT="]When I was about to become hopeless, the presence of God quieted my inner-passionate fire and He said: [/FONT]
[FONT="]“You shall know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” [/FONT]
[FONT="]~ John 8:31-32 [/FONT]
[FONT="]Therefore receiving an answer in such divine simplicity, I have confessed my sins to God, the Church, and to friends (and I continue to do so) ... I have repented of my ‘false’ sexual deviant thoughts, activities, and actions; furthermore, I have also cast the entanglements of perverse shame and unnecessary guilt to the wayside. Ignoring my fears of rejection and failure; I continue to decide in choosing eternal life, eternal paradise, and eternal fellowship – for this is what I call the true Christian freedom from confusion and disparity! [/FONT]
[FONT="]With enthusiasm and sincerity I chose to abandon my secret life and my destructive thinking behind the fires of shame and guilt; I desperately wanted Heaven and I wanted to be part of the Lord’s Kingdom of Celestial Paradise … I wanted to partake in the Lord’s Supper, the Eucharistic Celebration and Sacrifice. I wanted to be ME![/FONT]
[FONT="]I have discarded the part of my being that was created out of fear – my identity as a sexually perverse and liberal-humanistic extremist; and in its place, God did and continues to supply His perfect love, peace, contentment, joy, and a real sense of being. God has released me from false hatred and counter-religious compulsions, and has given me a sense of belonging. God has accepted me as a child of His, just the same as His only begotten son Jesus has accepted me as a fellow sibling. I am now free to be obedient and free to make the correct choices. [/FONT]
[FONT="]I now stand upright and humble before God and I am able to freely praise Him. It was the power of the Holy Spirit that brought me to repentance. I am no longer living life as a juggler. I know who I am and to whom I belong. I am a fellow citizen with God’s people and a member of God’s household; I am an authentic and sexually sound Christian of the Roman Rite. [/FONT]
[FONT="]I am still opposed and oppressed by the guilt principles, for everyone is opposed and oppressed by something; but, I am no longer in bondage to those oppositions and oppressions. I can recognize guilt and untruth for what it is and I can now choose to resist false deception and live in God’s victory. I understand that if I ever do fall into the oppositional and oppressive guilt, only if a little, I know that I can fall before the Lord with an open heart and mind, and ask Him for His guidance and deliverance of such atrocities![/FONT]
[FONT="]I must say, recovering from any denial and hatred of one’s self is hard. Incompatible with spiritual principles, denial and self-denial hampers one’s ability to accept, defeat, and surrender to the living truth and life through faith in Jesus Christ. The people who do not let their ‘REAL’ selves come out, are the ones to perish – unable to cross the bridge to providence. [/FONT]
[FONT="]Since recovery requires an emotional and spiritual wellness based on balance and honesty in truth, I suddenly see it as an opportunity to embrace my individual authenticity and my intricate differences, as also to undyingly fight against the counter-religious energy so overemphasized in our culture. Therefore empowered, I then think of those in the world (and those of similar stature) that have rejected me, but most of all, those who blatantly reject God. [/FONT]
[FONT="]To those who wish to criticize me on my stature ... I refuse to try and be someone I am not; for in accepting who I am, I fully understand the difficulties that may ensue, and I fully understand the reserve I must have more so through my sexuality. Whether my orientation is a stigma, deficiency, or a natural born feature, I refuse to let such classifications and the corrals that follow them to stop me.[/FONT]
[FONT="]Moreover, I see my condition of sexuality something that cannot be changed at the moment, and ultimately I must accept such truth and use it in the highest regards for the glory of God. For I understand that sexual conduct must be managed at all costs. Because of this, I know that many oppositional proponents will reject the authenticity of unique sexuality in humankind and that they (the oppositional proponents) believe that such difference in orientation damns one to the fires of eternal death and darkness; but, this is contrary to the doctrine of love and truth, for such sexual difficulty and difference is not subject to the falseness of such condemnation, as also, not subject to such atrocious ideals of blatant misinterpretation … and is only subject in the end to the servitude and livelihood for God Almighty![/FONT]
[FONT="]I have a fruitful life I can live because of my character in God, the liberty I possess through authenticity, and because my life has taken a transcendent leap in consciousness and spirituality, transforming the bonds of self-rejection into an ever-flowing river of self-acceptance! I refuse to allow the wars over faith, sexuality, and human life to destroy me, or force me into accepting an atrocious and extremist ideal of anti-life choices. I believe that sexuality has much to offer; yet, I also believe that sexual reserve is needed in the utmost by all people in society ... for in practicing sexual reserve and having sexual couth, there is a preservation of faith, community, and most of all, a preservation of self.[/FONT]
[FONT="]In the preservation of self, I see each one of us is instilled with various virtues and vices, resulting in failure and advancement through the progression of faith in Jesus Christ Yet, I am continually reminded by the Holy Spirit to be careful and not surmount to the tragic vices the enemy utilizes in the power of darkness; such as jealousy, greed, hatred, and rage of dark-militant passion. God has given me the eyes to see the enemy’s actions of ill-desire, which is an overflowing insatiable appetite of death and destruction. I refuse to become a haemorrhage of vile sickness and a contorted piece of desolate flesh for the devil and his darkness.[/FONT]
[FONT="]As I bend down here and there, picking up broken bits and pieces of faith and logic, the revealing of my faith continues. Having been born with a unique and intricate purpose (as each of us are, in our own special way), I continue to perceive life from an inclusive and progressive visionary post. I am continually driven to question, search, explore, experience, and reconcile my faith; and ‘learn’ of the faith of my brothers and sisters with similar distinction, challenges, and differences – as well as from those who have other distinctive and highly unique life qualities. As my biggest life issue dissipates over time, the depth of my former self-denial is replaced by an equal and opposite surge of humble pride, a joy of being, and an honest proclamation of faith, reason, and truth. [/FONT]
[FONT="]May the Holy Spirit continue to be manifest among us in all our decisions, and may the work of God continue to be lived and discovered through ‘Faith and Science’! May we continue to live the full and authentic principles of faith; furthermore, in the utmost, let us also take light of what ‘Science’ has to offer to humanity ... lest we make catastrophic mistakes, as in example to what had been done to Galileo and to those in history with such passions and drives for authenticity and truth! May collective inclusion be looked for, discovered, and made alive through righteous application in faith, science, and government to the utmost … For truth in the end, WILL prevail![/FONT]
[FONT="][P.S. … If you are struggling with the intricate weavings of faith, any type of sexual difference, or sexual perversion; I hope that this testimony of light, life, and authenticity has brought you a gleam of hope. Remember, that no matter where you are, or what you have done, God has never and will never let go of you. The journey may not always be easy; but, God will always be faithful. For if you will not give up, God will bring you to places you never even dreamed of or thought would be possible. God is ready to meet you in your journey and transform your life. May you have the faith and courage to make it this day and every day through the most Dearest, Beloved, and Everlasting God! … Be REAL and Be AUTHENTIC!][/FONT]
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[FONT="]My fellow brothers and sisters of the faith, may you see beyond human fault and embrace the very light and authentic truth of the Everlasting God![/FONT]
[FONT="]With much love;[/FONT]
[FONT="]+ Aaron “Jamie Marian” Harrison[/FONT]
[FONT="](Originally Written: 20 July 2009)[/FONT]
[FONT="][In order for the 'Letter to Adonai' to spread like a wildfire, a ‘LIMITED COPYRIGHT’ has been issued; please respect this privilege. If at any moment, the work of the 'Letter to Adonai' is under any threat or blatant misuse, the COPYRIGHT will be enforced to the fullest extent of applicable law. THIS DOCUMENT IS PROTECTED BY LAW! To grant 'limited' usage, the following is to be noted: “Courtesy of the International Catholic Evangelistic Association (ICEA): Letter to Adonai (with Testimony), ©2009 All rights reserved. Used with permission.” ... For 'FULL' Terms of Usage, please contact Author for full 'Schedule of Circulation Disclaimer'.][/FONT]
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