Advice on Drinking and on Defending the Needy Prov 31:6-9
6 Give strong drink to one who is dying, and wine to those who are bitterly distressed—
7 let him drink, forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.
Strong drink was commonly given to criminals who were about to die for their crimes. The liquor would make them senseless enough to not fully comprehend what was happening and to withstand the pain of any torture. Also it was given to the terminally ill and dying. It caused them to not be in pain and to sleep.
Strong drink is a depressent though, so it is my opinion that giving such to a depressed person only makes the sorrow worse, especially in the long run. I personally don't see that scripture forbids drinking however it does say to not be drunk.
Yeshua, on the cross was offered such a drink and he refused it. He experienced out sin in it's full strength.
8 Open your mouth on behalf of those unable to speak, for the justice of all who are destitute. 9 Open your mouth, judge righteously, plead the cause of the poor and needy.
The bottom line here is, "SPEAK UP" for those who cannot speak up for themselves. Judge righteously. Get the facts from both sides. See where there are areas where you may be able to help. Defend any who are being taken advantage of. Just don't stand by saying nothing when the poor and needy are being treated unfairly.SeeJer 22:3;Is 1:17;Mic 6:8;Ps 82:1-8.
Before we bigin this portion on what a good woman is, let's see what scripture says about what a good husband is. After all, according to Pauls teachings, it's the man who leads the way...see Eph 5:25
"Husbands, love your wives just as Messiah also loved His community and gave Himself up for her".
The standard is set much higher for men than it is for women. Just as Yeshua demonstrated his love for us by "going first, the husband should follow that example and not be demanding that the wife be that Prov 31 women when he is not that Eph 5:25 man. The man should be as equally committed and submitted to his wife so as to give all of himself to her and guide her and protect her and not throw his weight around and be abusive, either verbally, emotionally, or physically.
Just as Yeshua went "first", the husband is "responsible to go first, to create the order of married life. But to do this he must be loving first, unconditionally, without waiting for or insisting on his wife's submitting first". ~The Jewish New Testament Commentary~
How a woman should respond to her husband, whether he's that Eph 5:25 man or not is found in 1 Pet 3:1-6
"Likewise, wives, be submitted to your own husbands so that—even if some do not obey the message—by the wives’ conduct, without a word they may be won over 2 as they observe your pure, reverent conduct. 3 Don’t let your beauty be external—braiding the hair and wearing gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Instead let it be in the hidden person of the heart, with the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is the way the holy women, who put their hope in God, used to beautify themselves long ago—being submitted to their own husbands 6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. You have become her daughters by doing what is good and not fearing intimidation".
As we've learned in going through Proverbs, don't be argumentive, and resistent, and combative with your husband when he's trying his best to follow God in the way scriptures says. This does not mean that the woman is to allow her husband to abuse her. A woman in that situation needs to get out and seek safety. If your church teaches differently, find a new church, one that teaches what the Bible actually says.
So, we move forward We see here also instructions for the man who is married to a Prov 31 woman:
Prov 31:10 An accomplished woman who can find? Her value is far beyond rubies. 11 Her husband’s heart trusts in her, and he lacks nothing valuable. 12 She brings him good and not harm all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax and her hands work willingly. 14 She is like merchant ships, bringing her sustenance from afar. 15 She rises while it is still night and provides food for her household and portions for her servant girls.
For a man to find a woman strong in her walk with the Lord is good. Such a woman is exceedingly valuable, much more than rubies...meaning there is nothing more valuable than she.
A woman of good and strong character is a good thing to find. Her husband can totally trust her and he is not lacking in such character that he thinks he needs to stand over her like a tyrant, questioning all her actions. She will not bring her husband harm. She will not fraternize with other men without her husband or other people around.
She keeps herself busy with the needs of the household. She works without complaining. She's prepared for what she needs to do for the next day and/or days to come. Her husband is not intimidated by her abilities and resoursefulness. Aquilla was not intimated by Pricilla's ability to teach, neither was Paul since she was one of his instructers in the understanding of the scriptures. Pricilla and Aquilla.
The husband should keep her aware of any financiel issues so that she can shop wisely for the needs of the household. She will not spend money needlessly and without thinking about the expense on their budget. Her husband loves her so much that he does not criticize her choices and methods of meeting the needs of the household and she is confident in her choices.
As we see with the Prov 31 man, it is she who is making the decisions for the home. He lovingly makes his opinions known, and has guided her but he does not yell and scream and throw a temper tantrum. If you are a man and you are intimadated by your wife, you need to get before God and repent. Your feeling intimadated does not make for a Eph 5:25 man. Of course we are all intimadated in some way or other...that's a sign we need to run to God and allow HIM to work that garbage out of us.
16 She considers a field and buys it. From the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17 She girds herself with strength and invigorates her arms. 18 She discerns that her business is good. Her lamp never goes out at night.
19 She extends her hands to the spindle and her palm grasps the spinning wheel. 20 She spreads out her palms to the poor, and extends her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of snow for her house, for her whole household is clothed in scarlet wool. 22 She makes her own luxurious coverings. Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
What continues to jump out at me here is the fact that there is a man who is earning the money then seemingly handing it over to his wife for her to handle the househould affairs. And ladies, I do mean "household" affairs. The money is not for your frivolous spending. If you don't already know how, learn to pay the bills, cook, clean, and sew...it saves money. Imagine if you learned how to buy a house and flipped it for more than you paid. Learn and practice couponing. You don't have to be an expert, nor do you have to buy and stock things in excess or things you don't need but you can save where you can. I once had a friend whose four children and her and her husband were always impecably dressed and she regularly shopped at thrift shops. I had another friend, a single business woman who shopped for her clothing at thrift shops and she looked sharp all the time. Neither woman was frivolous, but they both knew how to look good for a cheap price.
Now in this day and age, especially in America every little girl is not taught how to sew, knit/crochet, garden, and cook. I think all these things are beneficial though, and not just for girls. If a man is living on his own he needs to know how to at least do the basics so that he's not an adult Pigpen. Most women swoon over a man who cooks and cleans.
The point is ladies and gents, learn what you need to learn in order to do with what you have, without making yourself even poorer in your living and eating habits. You don't have to be an expert, but it will come to your aide somewhere down the line.
The Prov 31 woman is not lazy and she does not allow for difficult times to get her down and stop working. She gives of what she has, without putting herself and/or her family in want. If she notices her neighbor does not have anything to eat and all she has in her cubbord is rice and chicken broth, she makes a big bowl of rice cooked in broth and shares it with her neighbor. If she herself has nothing but she can sew the holes in the neighbors clothing and wash them or she can knit hats and scarves from her stash to give to those in need of warmth. She can share her garden crop and maybe even teach the neighbor how to do it for themselves. She uses what she has. And the husband, if she has one..does not stand in her way. He isn't intimidated by her skills. He loves her as Christ loved the church. His own relationship with Adonai is secure or at least being worked on.
This song asks God to give us faith...He has done that (Matt 17:20)Even if our faith is little, we still have the size as a mustard seed. We just need to put that grain to work.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them and supplies sashes to the merchants. 25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the days to come. 26 She opens her mouth with wisdom—a lesson of kindness is on her tongue. 27 She watches over the affairs of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.
A man is respected because of the way he handles himself, the way he treats his wife, his children, his parents, and others. Such a man causes a woman to want to be industrious and make her family not only look good, and live godly lives.
Let me note that these verses are for the wife who has a good husband who is supporting himself and his family. He's not a deadbeat. Of course, every woman should take care of herself and her family to the best of her ability. God does not expect, nor did King Lemuel, women to make things out of nothing. But, be creative, use what you have. If the husband is out of work, but looking and doing whatever he can to remedy it, support him as best you can and continue to trust God for His provision.
She does not just go on spending sprees. She shops wisely, aware of what is and is not available in the bank account. Know that there are some things that it's just better use of the money to save up for the better (not fancier) material that will weather the wear and tear. Or, like I saw on The Waltons once, mama took yarn from Elizabeths baby blanket, John Boys, old sweater, Jason's old sweater, etc., to knit a brand new multi-colord speater for Pa for their wedding anniversary. I've done that before, myslelf. I pulled out an old and worn large shawl/blanket that was never used, wound the yarn up, washed it, reused it to reknit several scarves for the homeless. The point is, "use what you got, with what you got".
The Prov 31 woman does not mope around. Even if poor, she carries herself with dignity. She's not telling her private business all over town...TMI, TMI. She's not bad-mouthing her husband, children, or anyone else. She does not "what am I going to do" whining, (many of us have a tendency to do this and we need to learn not to).
She prepares as much as possible for the coming weather or circumstance. She's kind. She's as generous as she possible can be without putting her own family in destitution. She's not a busy-body and she's not loafing while there is anything that needs to be done and others are dependent upon you doing it.
I find it funny some of the songs that first come to mind...Oh, if only there were a forrest full of critters that showed up to help like in this video:
28 Her children arise and bless her, her husband also praises her: 29 “Many daughters have excelled, but you surpass them all.” 30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears Adonai will be praised. 31 Give her the fruit of her hands.
Let her deeds be her praise at the gates.
I think the last verse winds it up nicely. The husband treats her as his equal, careful to not crush her and break her. He speaks highly of her. She is precious to him.She and her husband do not have to be rich in money and things because being a Prov 31 woman is not about "what" she does and does not have at her disposal, but how she uses what she has at her disposal.
We see here also instructions for the man who is married to a Prov 31 woman:
