Learning to cope?

[skinesio2]

Hello, so i have never posted anything in a forum or anything so this is new to me but i want to try all my options i suppose.

I was diagnosed with BPD about two years ago when i had to address my cutting addiction and my first suicide attempt. I was attending a christian university so i was in a good environment but had to leave school to get more help. I spent a year at home "healing" but my parents didn't encourage me to go to counseling. They believed it was a "family" issue that they should be able to solve.

I have been at a new university since September and have been doing alright. My roommate is a very godly woman and very encouraging. But as i get closer with her i am showing my "true colors" and my instability is coming out yet again. My cutting has become an issue again and while i am not actually suicidal i feel hopeless and wish i had the option of committing suicide. And i hate that.

Basically, i have tried to do research on BPD so i can understand it, i have tried counseling and i have been trying to keep praying about it. And i want a christian perspective. I know God has such a bigger hand in this than i am giving Him credit, but i just need encouragement. I wish to be married and have a family someday but at this point i feel like i am biologically incapable of that.

How can i learn to control my irrational thinking and all the awesome symptoms that accompany BPD? I need strategies.. I need help. I need someone who understands how i am really feeling..

 

[mommo9kids]

I guess my first question to you would be, are you on any medication? Once you find a good balance of meds things can go better.
It seems research is saying the best treatment for BPD is a kind of therapy called DBT it is a lot to do with mindfulness. I have been in DBT for about six months now and at first it was confusing and I just sat and colored, but found it was sinking in and I was changing! My daughter goes to a small private college and they actually have a Mindfulness/DBT group there, so maybe there is one at your college.
Your body is God's temple and he loves you and does not want you to hurt it or you. Every single person on this Earth has something to offer, something good about them (even if they might have been told otherwise). Think of those things!

Patty

 

[madison1101]

I have been in therapy, not counseling, for a long time. BPD is a deeply rooted disorder, not necessarily a chemical one, BUT meds can and do help a great deal.

You need a psychiatric evaluation for medication, and then a referral to a licensed psychologist or clinical social worker who has experience using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with Borderline patients. BPD is not something that can be "cured" by the family...your parents are wrong.

I empathize with your cutting. I have done it in the past, and hated it after the fact.

What has helped me heal, in addition to my psychotherapist's help, is being in a discipleship relationship with a mature, Godly, Christian woman, who is solid in scriptural understanding of the loving grace of God, AND, who is not judgemental of behavior. I have such a friend, and she knows everything about me. I tell her when I am going to have therapy, and she prays for my therapist, who is not necessarily a Christian. We don't discuss his spiritual beliefs. We do discuss mine when it is relevant.

If you would like to e-mail me, feel free. I have done it all...drinking, drugging, cutting and the sexual acting out. I am also a licensed social worker, temporarily retired from teaching, awaiting beginning a new, part time career in therapy.

pareilly1101@comcast.net

Trish Reilly