last names

[Cordy]

I believe it IS scriptural for a woman to take her husband's name. The Bible tells women to submit to their husbands. IMO, a woman taking her husband's name is submission, and is therefore scriptural, not legalistic.

That doesn't make sense. Nowhere in the Bible does it explain that one of the requirements of being submissive is taking someone’s name. That is your own application for submission. So, for you to say that ‘because’ submissions requires taking of names the women must take the man’s, you are adding requirements or “laws” that are not in the Bible.
The Bible does however tell us in Ephesians 5:21 that we are all to “submit to one another in reverence for Christ”. Does that mean that we all go around taking the names of every other Christians we are submitting to?
If you want to take your husbands name, that is totally fine! It is just not right to tell people that this is from scriptures.
That is when things become dangerous.

 

[William Nunn]

That doesn't make sense. Nowhere in the Bible does it explain that one of the requirements of being submissive is taking someone’s name. That is your own application for submission. So, for you to say that ‘because’ submissions requires taking of names the women must take the man’s, you are adding requirements or “laws” that are not in the Bible.
The Bible does however tell us in Ephesians 5:21 that we are all to “submit to one another in reverence for Christ”. Does that mean that we all go around taking the names of every other Christians we are submitting to?
If you want to take your husbands name, that is totally fine! It is just not right to tell people that this is from scriptures.
That is when things become dangerous.

From what I read, cammie never said it was a law. She said she BELIEVES (IMO was her exact statment) that it is Biblical because it is a sign of submission. If you don't, then that's par of your walk with God. Was someone here trying to force you to take a man's name? Why are you so ardent on this?

 

[Cordy]

I am just interested in names. I like to hear why people made the choice they did. I appreciete some of the comments from women explaining how they looked foward to a new name and such. I just thought there might be more of a variety in the way people approached the name issue, and hoping to read some stories on how it was done to reflect the couple.

 

[Tangnefedd]

I took my husband's name in the 60's, one did and didn't question the fact. However as husbands and wives are equal there is no reason why a woman should take his name, or why he shouldn't take hers. If I was marrying now I would consider whether to take his name or not, I think I might stick with my own name!

 

[confussed]

When I got married I kept my last name because it was important at the time to my father. My husband said he was ok with that. When we had children we gave the a hyphenated last name (his suggestion). When they got older they did not understand why Mommy and Daddy had different last names, so I took on the hyphenated last name also. But if one of the children or someone who does not know us calls my husband by the hyphenated name he wastes no energy is setting them straight and then explains that I did not want or think that his name was good enough for me.

 

[Tangnefedd]

When I married in 1969 it was usual to take your husband's name, I didn't even think about not doing so. It is not that common, in the UK, to hyphenate the husband and wife's name. However, many young women do not wish to be seen as the property of their husband so keep their maiden name, which is fine. If I had my life to go over again I might give the subject more thought. I have heard of some men taking their wife's name!

 

[Whitestone]

However you want to do the last names seems pretty much open. The two constraints I would see as great importance.

First off is which last name the engage people choose should be done before they get married.

Second, it should be the same last name his, hers, or both hyphenated. We as a husband and wife are supposed to become one flesh. By holding onto a previous name or life we deny that we are becoming a new creation as a married couple.

Another importance for having the same last name is that children will have an easier time during their growing up period where identity is soo important.

 

[AngelaHelene]

I took my husbands last name out of tradition. But it has also made things easier since we got married.

 

[stubbornkelly]

I'm not married, and this hasn't been too much of an issue for me, but I have thought about it, should I veer get married. I don't have a sentimental attachment to my last name, but it is part of my professional name. At this point, I've grown a body of work under this name, and don't envision myself changing it.

A friend of mine married a few years ago and didn't change her name - her new in-laws grumbled for a while, but her husband didn't. They haven't decided what last name their children will have, but it'll either be his name or a combination of the two. Their "new name" option is Thomson, which is a combination of their last names. In my mind, if the names can be combined, that's a very attractive option. It most definitely signifies a combination of two lives into one.

Of the hyphenated kids I know, most hate having a hyphenated name. One friend has legally changed hers to just her mother's maiden name. At a Quaker school, I ran into a lot of people with hyphenated names, several of whom laughed about what would happen if two people with already hyphenated names (given to them by their parents) got married and had kids - what would they do? For that and a few other reasons, I'm not much for giving kids hyphenated names.

 

[Cordy]

Second, it should be the same last name his, hers, or both hyphenated. We as a husband and wife are supposed to become one flesh. By holding onto a previous name or life we deny that we are becoming a new creation as a married couple.
.

I agree that it is nice to have the husband and wife sharing the same last name. I do not think that if people keep separate names, however, they are denying that they become a new creation as a married couple. Taking on a last name is a cultural thing, and as Christians, I think we should be careful to not say that just because something is cultural, it is the “Christian” thing to do.

 

[IslandBreeze]

I agree that it is nice to have the husband and wife sharing the same last name. I do not think that if people keep separate names, however, they are denying that they become a new creation as a married couple. Taking on a last name is a cultural thing, and as Christians, I think we should be careful to not say that just because something is cultural, it is the “Christian” thing to do.

Other people may feel differently about that, and they are certainly entitled to their own opinion, whether it differs from yours or not.

 

[Cordy]

Other people may feel differently about that, and they are certainly entitled to their own opinion, whether it differs from yours or not.

I agree, and didn't say otherwise. That is why I said "I think" - because I am voicing my opinion, not stating absolutes. I was however, responding to a "stated truth" which bothered me, and explained why. I was simple putting in perspective.

 

[PottersClay]

Before I met my husband, I was torn. I felt it would be an insult to whoever I married if I wasnt willing to give up her name, but in my case, I was the last person in my family to carry the family name. The fact that my father had died made it harder because it felt like by dropping his name, he'd be gone forever.

I honestly didnt know what to do. I didnt care for the hyphenated thing, so I considered taking my last name as a middle name. But once I met my husband, the need to hold onto the name did not hold the emotional charge it once had.

I just wish I hadnt had to trade a very short, simple name for the one I now have. And that's not just my opinion. His family kept appologizing for saddling me with their often mispronounced, misspelled family name!

 

[GirlieGirl]

I took my husband's last name because it was simplest way to go. Hypenated names can be a bit of a pain, and then what if your daughters want to hypenate their names when they get married? They'll have hyphenated hypenated names. Sheesh!

I wonder if the daughters from hypenated mothers will take their husband's name or not? I suspect there will be a swing back to simply taking the husband's name for the reason I mentioned above.

 

[stubbornkelly]

That was the issue we discussed in college, GirlieGirl. And there were some people, including the friend I mentioned, who were already in the process of simplifying, either by dropping one of the names or dropping the hyphen, giving them, in essence, two middle names.