last names

[Cordy]

Names are so important to us. It identifies who we are and our relationship to others.
I was wondering how couples here have tackled the last name issue. Did the woman take the man’s last name or visa versa? Maybe one or both of you hyphenated.
I am interested in your story and perspective on this.

 

[charligirl]

I am quite old fashioned and (as stated in numerous other threads - not for here ) believe that my husband is the head of the family, so I was very happy to take his name.

 

[JillLars]

I will be taking my fiance's name (it doesn't have anything to do with who's the head though, just to specify). Its just tradition, and I'm looking forward to changing my name from Larson to Monson, funny thing is, one of my teachers in highschool (who's son was friend's with Josh) used to call me Ms. Monson all the time. Coincidence? I think not!

 

[William Nunn]

My fiancee is taking my last name, and I will admit that I would be very upset about it if she didn't. Fortunately, she really wants to.

 

[momof3blessings]

I took my husband's out of tradition. It's was just what you were supposed to do. But now looking back I'm really glad I did. When we married we became one. For ME it would be hard to be one if our last names were different or even
hyphenated. Sounds old fashioned I know. Besides when you have kids it could become really confusing when the last names are different.

 

[KLLM82]

When I get married, I will definitely take my husband's last name and it would be an honor to do so

~Katia~

 

[Kokopelli]

My wife loved taking my last name. Took us a while to get her name changed on her social security card due to time, etc. (had a baby coming 9-months after we were married) She just got it changed the 29-Jan-04 and was happily showing it around to her family.

 

[kstam]

My wife took my last name. It was a bit of a hassle for her to go through all the forms and registration, however it was a lot easier than the wedding itself and it was worth it. It showed me that she was willing to become part of me. I think I would be quite upset if she didn't change her last name. It's a man ego thing.

 

[lucypevensie]

I took his last name also. There was not even any question or debate about the issue. It's traditionally the way things go, so... So?

 

[Jenna]

I took my husband's last name, though I don't know that I was too happy with it at first. It was real hard for me because my last name has a lot to do with my heritage and family background. For me, THAT was where I came from, and I had a hard time identifying myself with his family's past. It was hard for me to feel that I was to some degree loosing a bit of my identity. Still, I changed my name. He would have been very, very upset if I hadn't. It's all good though. It just took a bit of time to get used to.

 

[Cordy]

I agree it is nice to have both people sharing the same last name, but why does the woman have to take the man’s?
Just before I was married, I found a leaflet on some common ways to approach the name thing these days: sometimes the man takes the woman’s, sometimes the two hyphenate, and sometimes they create their own new name to represent their unity.
What I found interesting is that in Iceland women must keep their maiden name when they marry. It opened up a new perspective to me…not all women take men’s last names.
For me, taking the man’s name doesn’t seem scriptural – just traditional... which is completely fine if that is what you two agree.
I was just wondering if anyone has questioned this tradition.
Thank you for all your comments, I find this interesting.

 

[momof3blessings]

In the Bible it says the man is the leader of the household. To me it would be hard to look at him as leader if he had his wife's name.

 

[WayneH]

My wife took MY name - We both talked about it - and she agreed with Me to take MY name........ two become one - that includes the name...

 

[jesusfan411]

i agree mom. when i married my hubby i gladly took on his name. i didnt give up my own, as many forms show you it asks for maiden name, but for me it is showing my respect for my husband as being head of house hold.

 

[Cordy]

I realize that two become one. I don't think that has to include name, but I like the idea.
I don't see why making a new name of hyphenating is taking away from the leadership for those who see that as a deciding factor.
Has anyone chosen any of the other options?

 

[SomeRandomGuy]

I took my husband's last name . . . He would have been very, very upset if I hadn't. It's all good though. It just took a bit of time to get used to.

I can't help feel upset reading that post. I don't understand this "tradition". Where did it come from? Why is it that being the head of the house entails the wife to take my name? My wife and I hyphenated our names, and I wouldn't have it any other way. It would be strange for me to take someone else's name, and same for my wife. So, we became one. Not only do we believe that hyphenating honours both sides of the families, but it is also submitting to each other.

I agree with mbams, if you feel that you want to take your husbands name, there's nothing wrong with that at all. I just dislike the mentality of some husbands who believe it to be scriptural that the women takes his name.

 

[LadyBird]

I can't wait to get rid of my last name! It has been nothing but a pain in the butt because no one can prenounce it! Even if I had Smith for a last name, I would take my husband's last name. It just seems like the right thing for me to do. And I like it because it is tradition, yes, I am old fashioned.

 

[katelyn]

Hehe, Belle, I was the same way. Everyone said my name right, but it was often misspelled. Also, I didn't like how it went with my first name. I am very much enjoying my new name.

I think having the same last name is good for the unity of not just the couple, but the family.

 

[William Nunn]

I can't wait to get rid of my last name! It has been nothing but a pain in the butt because no one can prenounce it! Even if I had Smith for a last name, I would take my husband's last name. It just seems like the right thing for me to do. And I like it because it is tradition, yes, I am old fashioned.

) My fiancee's last name is Smith.

And well, it doesn't say anywhere (that I know of) in the Bible that the woman is going to take the mans name. But, it does say that they are to be one flesh - and it just doesn't seem like they are one flesh if they have two names. And since the husband is supposed to be head of the household, it's only natural that the man's name is taken. I wouldn't want my wife to hyphenate her her name. It would almost seem to me like she was ashamed of taking my name, and I guess I'm lazy - but I wouldn't want to write those extra letters if I had to fill out a form with her name.

 

[JillLars]

But, it does say that they are to be one flesh - and it just doesn't seem like they are one flesh if they have two names.

The names have very little to do with whether or not they have become one flesh. They will always be two different people joined spiritually, to say that a name change reflect becoming one flesh doesn't quite seem logical to me, because, for example, I could take it a step further and say that the wife should take both the husband's name, and I don't especially want to be called "Josh"