I usually plan our meals a week in advance, all of 'em, including breakfasts and lunches. This is done by figuring out whether we're eating out some evenings, having friends over, making anything to bring to church, and then running things by what's on sale, if there are any special requests from last week, etc. I then give my husband the menu, and he questions or edits some things, and sometimes adds an "I really liked _______ you made" or "Can we have ___________ soon?". Then they get filed in my mind for next week.
I love to cook, and have somewhere @ 200 cookbooks, so often I poke through them searching for inspiration, and when it strikes, it goes in the notebook for whichever meal that week suits it best (more time, less time, do-ahead, lenten, etc.). From that point I write down the ingredients needed, so i have my shopping list.
At least one meal in each category (breakfast, lunch, supper) is something that is in the freezer, so we have the ability to be flexible about eating out, accepting last minute invitations, grabbing something on sale, etc. without wasting food. By this I mean I often make several pots of varieties of soup or chili, freeze enough for two, and have them to pull out of the freezer and have with salad and crusty bread, or I make a double batch of pancakes or muffins, and freeze half, or make homemade sausages, cook them, and freeze them for a good lean protein.
We rarely eat the same meal twice a month, and I always have variations on a theme: salads can be spinach, or spring mix, or Caesar, or garden or have fruit or cheese or meat.
When we buy meat in bulk, I make marinades for it, and freeze it in the marinade, so last minute changes can be accommodated....take it out and thaw it in the marinade.
I ask my husband for his thoughts, and make certain that if I know he has an unusually busy or difficult day that the menu reflects that...a stressful traveling day often means I have one of his favourite meals (with candlelight...he loves that!!) for him, or if he wants to do yard work or some house project, I try to have things that can be ready in five minutes or less, because what often happens there is "I'm at a good stopping point, can we have lunch soon?". In the summer, this usually means having chilled grilled meat to toss on a salad, and having the greens and herbs and dressing chopped and waiting for the stopping point to be reached, in the winter, it can mean having the Crockpot simmering and waiting.
We tried different ways of grocery shopping when we were first married, and having him run to the store for one thing often meant that $20 later we had a couple of bags of "they were on sale" items, that now need another trip to the grocery store to purchase anything they can be added to to produce a meal, or tons of crackers, or ice cream...or or or. Now either I do the shopping, or we go together. It's just easier for me to shop once or twice a week (once, if I just need normal grocery items, or twice if I need Costco items, or someone is out of an essential ingredient.)
If your husband is tired of what you make, then perhaps doing menus together for a while might help. It's not easy to make some things on a budget, but often you can generate a huge change of attitude about something by talking about it: My husband was not used to my brand of gourmet on a budget, and was nervous...very nervous...about the cost of things once we married. It took lots of explaining because what he saw as restaurant quality meals often were VERY inexpensive..I usually hand him my "Value Meal Cost Analysis"...and he has learned that we can have filet Mignon with a side of lobster and a salad and veg. for far less than a fast food value meal. Mind, this does not happen often, as we are on a budget, but he's also learned that some things that he loves that he THINKS are expensive are only $.50 per serving. He's gotten way more relaxed about the grocery budget...or party budgets, as a result. He's also noticed that I manage coupons and sale prices so well that despite rising grocery costs, our grocery budget remains relatively unchanged.
I have to admit that in the scenario you described, I'd have been more likely to tell him that nachos (his way, from a jar) were fine if that's what he wanted, but A) I wasn't going to eat that way, and the kids needed more veg. and protein, so B) would he please run to the store and choose a nice whole grain chip, buy his jar of whatever horror passes for nacho cheese in a jar, and whatever else (salsa, etc.) and you'll be here shredding lettuce veg. and cooking the meat of your choice to make it a more complete meal. If that wasn't going to work for him this time, I'd then have C) asked if tomorrow would be OK for this so you have time to prepare and shop. if not, then D) load the kids into the car and all go out to the closest restaurant that has loaded nachos... the kids would probably be thrilled.
