Yes . . . compassion.
I might first ask a child, "Why . . . if you know?"
And my general prejudice is a child would have different sorts of reasons, than a full-grown and pubescent adult would have.
While I was a boy in elementary school, I would talk in a girl's voice and ask a cute boy for a kiss. The guys did not care for that, to say the least. It stopped, pretty quick. And I just went on. But later, I remember, I could talk in a soft voice and a certain man kept calling me "Sweetheart", I think I remember. But I did not get it. I had no interest in him, and I was not trying to be feminine.
What I see in general is I was trying to fit in and get approval and get things I wanted. Pleasure was a thing I wanted. Girls were treated with contempt by the kids; so may be I was trying to get more than playing, more affection, intimacy, while not getting in social trouble by being more with the girls. I don't know for sure. But I do know I was very into seeking . . . pleasure. Candy and ice cream, then, were much more of an intense interest for me. Sexual organ based identity and pleasure were not in the picture.
But I can see how older people can be very much about seeking pleasure. Their preference for male or female can have even nothing to do with reproduction. But sexual sensations by themselves can indeed be a major treasure pleasure for some number of people. A person's real preference, then, can be pleasure.
And I can try to develop my situation so I am getting the pleasure I treasure, without other people messing with it. And if you effectively mess with a pleasure which is a real treasure for me . . . I might then react like I am a maniac. But, of course, with Jesus I can do better than be a victim of this, and not be a puppet of conforming and defending even viciously, in order to have my treasure pleasure.
There are plenty of heterosexual people who are in the pleasure preference trap, I think we can see. We hear about the fights between lovers and even spouses who supposedly love each other, yet can abuse each other with their arguing and other cruel things . . . in my opinion, because their love is very about making sure they get the pleasure they treasure, and so they have the maniacal capability ready to enforce what they want.
But weakness for pleasure is also weakness for pain. Only Jesus can make us strong so we can hold up in loving with even enemies as well as close companions
- - - "without complaining and disputing" > see Philippians 2:13-16, with Ephesians 4:31-32.
I would say a lot of us have given into fighting and biting, somehow, over pleasures we demand that we have; and possibly every one of us has given in to unforgiveness which cancels us out of the love which we could be sharing in intimacy with God and one another as His family. So, if my theory is correct, that people's sexual identity can really be about how to get pleasure . . . not reproduction . . . then all of us should be able to understand others, and have compassion out of our own experience >
"He can have compassion on those who are ignorant and going astray, since he himself is also subject to weakness." (Hebrews 5:2)
My opinion is we all still have
"weakness", more or less, for pleasure which does not love us; as much as we exercise in weakness for selfish pleasure, this can help to keep us from becoming stronger in God's way of loving. And any of us can still more or less keep on giving in to and suffering in arguing and complaining and unforgiveness and boredom and loneliness, because we let ourselves stay weak for what is selfish.
So, I say we can understand ourselves and anyone else
