If you marry any person expecting them to change, you aren't living in reality. You are marrying a dream rather than anything real, and you can't put all your stocks in dreams or hopes or wishes; at the end of the day, we -must- live in reality, in the now, in the present. The past is gone, and the future isn't here yet. We can only deal with the present one day at a time in a logical and realistic manner.
Thus, when a person gets married expecting to change her husband, she will (eventually if not immediately) be eternally unhappy, or the man will, or both will.
You can never ever marry someone for who you hope they will become. This includes faith; so many people marry their SO's thinking "He -can- be a Christian, or he -will- be a Christian" - no no! You can NOT do that. You have to be satisfied with who they are now, right now, not tomorrow. That means if you cannot be completely satisfied with almost everything about someone within reason, in the here and now, you probably should not be marrying them.
You cannot marry a figment of your imagination.
I wish I could help you understand the statement that you quoted. I cannot, because I did not get married expecting my husband to change. In my head, all I can think is "Who in their right of mind would do that?" although realistically I know it happens every single day. I just personally don't understand it myself.
Rob, I don't know if you know, but everything that exists today that took more than 20 minutes to put together exists because of women except beer. Not because women made them, but because men wanted women to have sex with them. Without women, men would hang out in mudhuts all day, flinging poo at each other and drinking beer. A single man is not far removed from this situation, except that he plays video games and may have a job. What a woman hopes to change is this instinct, she hopes to civilize him.
If the man was uncivilized to begin with, I wouldn't even be interested in them, so I can't really subscribe to this train of thought. However, perhaps if we were indeed still living in the stone age, this would have some merit.
I do think that some women see a strange need to be with someone they think needs "improvement" though. I don't understand this concept myself, as I stated in the post just above this one. I don't know why women gravitate towards men they consider projects (it doesn't mean they ARE projects either, it just means those particular women cannot accept them for exactly who they are, but choose to be with them anyway).
In a way, as a result, I think women simply bring the inevitable upon themselves (unhappy marriages).
There is also a separate issue where people marry other people they are simply incompatible with; perhaps they were too young, or the relationship wasn't long enough, or what have you. Whatever happened, they walk down the aisle, and find out that they are each not the person they expected. What happens then? Acceptance? No of course not... one or both parties try to change the other to fit into their worldview. That's another kettle of fish all together however.
The most important thing I can say on a topic like this, is the following: Not every relationship is meant to be. And while relationships require work, you do NOT have to bend over backwards making a relationship function. If it doesn't work, leave. If you're incompatible, break up! People spend way too much time trying to force themselves into incompatible situations under the pretense "Oh I love him, I love him! (as if they'll never again love another)" and as a result, they bring the consequences upon themselves.
If you want to change the person you are with? Break up, WAY before you hit that alter.
Nuff said.
