- Jan 9, 2019
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how do I get the drive to seek Him? I felt like I grieved His Holy Spirit away from me. I refused to fully surrender, I believed a lie that it was optional. anyhow, I lost a lot of drive. and I developed a strong distaste toward reading the Bible shortly after I felt His presence leave, and I started eating food... a lot. how do I get back to Him? How do I get the drive to get back to Him? it felt like trust left my heart. I believe in Jesus in my head 100%, but it is like I lost the assurance that He was on my side, and thought that I became an enemy of God. so... the Bible does not speak to me, sermons stopped moving me, feels like my heart is stony, and I can't hear His voice any more, my mind feels carnal, I know it is the end times, I used to be terrified of losing my salvation to the point of trying to earn my salvation, and not trust Him to do it, now it feels like I lost my salvation, and can't get back. But I hope that feelings and symptoms are just that. symptoms that can be refuted, and feelings that can be changed.