Labour and Birth

[angelsgirl]

Ok, so my husband and I have been going to antenatal classes for 2 weeks now. I really thought i had a handle on what was going to happen during labour and birth...
But last week they showed us a short video. It was just of the baby's head crowning and the birth itself. Now in theory I understood what had to happen... But when I actually saw it happening I completely freaked out.
It took all my energy not to burst into tears right there and then in front of everyone.
When I got home I just lost it. I started crying and saying that I didn't want to have this baby anymore. It really freaked me out. I kept telling my husband I didn't want to give birth, that Kaboose was just going to have to stay in there forever cause there was no way I was doing THAT!

Basically what I am hoping for is some encouragement. I really don't feel like i can do that, drugs or not. I am actually quite stressed about the whole thing and it is starting to affect my sleep. I keep having nightmares about the birth.

While I am glad they showed us the video, part of me wishes they didn't. The good thing is now i know exactly what will happen.
I am also glad we did antenatal classes earlier rather than later. At least now i have some time to get ok with what is going to happen! I am really trying to be positive in the way i think and talk about going into labour... but it is really hard!

Oh I am so glad this forum exists... i really needed to get that off my chest...

 

[sweetangelmum]

hahahaha I am not laughting at you but I am laughing because that is how I was for me.

Honey that baby is comming wether you like it or not and the truth is when you are in the birth is is not as bad as what you think.

Go on youtube and watch birth videos and see that there is such beauty in birth. I have gone back 4 times and I will do it again.

Please dont stess about it as it will be fantastic when the moment comes. You will be like OH MY GOD I DID IT.

I use to look at my fanny and go what the heck do you think I am it aint comming out.

 

[rainbowbright]

Hey I did it four times, too (once with twins. at least you won't have an internal extraction-that's even weirder than the baby crowning, they only do it with twins). Once you go into labor, endorphines kick in and everything becomes second nature. You'll feel much better once you're in the process b/c the baby will come out no matter what, you have no choice.

 

[~Mrs. A2J~]

What the other gals said

Really, when you get to crowning you'll be at the point where you just want it out and it can actually feel "good" to be pushing. You will actually make the whole thing more painful and stressful if you try to stop things from happening and hold back because you're scared. Realise that this is a natural thing that your body was made to do and the more relaxed about it you are the more likely you are to have a better experience.

 

[Leanna]

Those videos are scary..... I mean who wants to see it from that angle.... from your angle it will be a lot prettier... you'll see the head out and then baby set on your belly

They always ask me if i want a mirror..... naaaaaaaah

 

[gracepaints]

Hah, Leanna! I had a great labor but was still unnerved by the videos. When the doc asked if I wanted to touch Reed's head as he crowned, I just shook my head. My eyes were closed the whole time I was pushing. And, yes, pushing is a big relief after the rest of labor.

 

[jgonz]

I love watching birth videos! It's so natural and, and, Empowering! You can do this! You were made for this. G-d never gives any of us anything more than we can handle.

Spend a Lot of time reading natural (and homebirth) birth stories. It just reinforces in your head how natural and how Do-able this is!

 

[~Mrs. A2J~]

Hah, Leanna! I had a great labor but was still unnerved by the videos. When the doc asked if I wanted to touch Reed's head as he crowned, I just shook my head. My eyes were closed the whole time I was pushing. And, yes, pushing is a big relief after the rest of labor.

I touched Liam's head as he crowned and it felt really weird! You could feel his head being squished by the birth canal. I remember once the head was out though I told the midwife I could stay like that forever cos it was such a relief to have gotten it out LOL

 

[-~Truth_N_Trust~-]

yeah I remember the birth video's - everyone was a bit stunned after seeing it, plus they showed us one with an episiotemy - NOT something a 7mth pg lady needs to see thanks...

You've still got a few months to go, by that time you'll be so over being pregnant, you seriously won't care too much about the process of her coming out - just get her out!!! My best friend is 2 days overdue and is soooooooooooooooooo ready for labour to start! She never went to antenatal classes or watched videos (past issue's that seeing these things trigger for her).

 

[angelsgirl]

Oh... thankgod they didn't show an episiotomy!!! That really would have freaked me out!!!
Apparently this week there is going to be a short video about c-sections. I don't know how i am going to deal with that one...

I am feeling a little better about the whole idea of birth... but i think its going to scare me til i'm actually doing it.
My husband has been a champ through all this, he has been so supportive and understanding about my feelings. He has tried to be reassuring... I don't know what i would do without him...

 

[honeyoatcereal]

I felt the same way before having my daughter. I'm sure you'll do just great!

 

[Hadassah]

LOL; I'm with you.. DO NOT show me birthing videos, tell me your horror stories or how long it took...

I know when it's his time he'll come and it will be ok.. but I don't want an audience, and I certainly don't want a "rear view" mirror either. I wanna work thru the problem, get him here and get to hold him

DH on the other hand is starting to get interesting and totally unlike himself.. (He is freaked about needles and blood etc...) and has commented how he wants to be there and do this and that and watch it all.. and I keep thinking "Boy, if you pass out on me....!!!"

He's been great at all the Dr visits, but has yet to see an exam. I almost can't wait to see his expression when they have to come and check my dialation and all that... He seems to think my exams are sooooooo easy and not to worry about when I go... I have a feeling he'll have a whole other idea about it when people want to come in and take a peek at the end of his wife that doesn't see the sunshine... LOL

 

[Beth1231]

When certain parts of the birth videos were too intense....I closed my eyes and put my head on my husband's shoulder. You know how much imagery you can handle right now. If you're having nightmares, you might want to read encouraging birth stories and turn your head for some parts of the videos.

And it really is amazing how your body will naturally stretch and how good pushing can feel (although I did that part with drugs). And Leanna is right about the view. Your view will be MUCH nicer

 

[gracepaints]

You know what's kind of hilarious is that I remember watching though birth videos and thinking, I can't believe this woman let someone TAPE this view of her. Next thing I know, my knees are up around my ears and my glory is being looked upon by my DH, my doula, my doctor, a pediatrician and I don't know how many nurses. Um, yeah. No modesty after childbirth. I can recall having conversations and watching stuff from "my view" long after the baby was out. It didn't even occur to me to try and be modest and close my legs or anything.

 

[Assisi]

Watching birth videos made me cry with joy! ...I'm not feeling the fear. But that could be because of my past experiences I guess.

 

[angelsgirl]

I just so wasn't expecting to have that reaction... But I guess its cause I have never seen a birth video before...

I feel a little better... reading more about birth, i think the shock has almost worn off.
I really wish i wasn't scared about it all though... its just another thing I am going to stress about!!! I am the biggest stesser ever!!!

 

[Called2Grace]

I remember watching birth stories before I feel pregnant with DD and I was thinking "I won't be one of those women who scream! It can't be THAT bad"

I won't share my birth story with you, but what I will say is that I plan to be more prepared this time around. I really think that the more prepared you are, the better you will handle it. Because it may freak you out now, but better now then when it is actually happening

 

[gracepaints]

I had a great labor and I still yelled a lot.

 

[Bananna]

Ok, so my husband and I have been going to antenatal classes for 2 weeks now. I really thought i had a handle on what was going to happen during labour and birth...
But last week they showed us a short video. It was just of the baby's head crowning and the birth itself. Now in theory I understood what had to happen... But when I actually saw it happening I completely freaked out.
It took all my energy not to burst into tears right there and then in front of everyone.
When I got home I just lost it. I started crying and saying that I didn't want to have this baby anymore. It really freaked me out. I kept telling my husband I didn't want to give birth, that Kaboose was just going to have to stay in there forever cause there was no way I was doing THAT!

Basically what I am hoping for is some encouragement. I really don't feel like i can do that, drugs or not. I am actually quite stressed about the whole thing and it is starting to affect my sleep. I keep having nightmares about the birth.

While I am glad they showed us the video, part of me wishes they didn't. The good thing is now i know exactly what will happen.
I am also glad we did antenatal classes earlier rather than later. At least now i have some time to get ok with what is going to happen! I am really trying to be positive in the way i think and talk about going into labour... but it is really hard!

Oh I am so glad this forum exists... i really needed to get that off my chest...

My daughter did report in College on Birthing alternatives because her biology teacher found out I had 13 children some hospital and some homebirth.

Literally she freaked when seeking the hospital births.

There are tons of great homebirth videos on youtube.

Didn't care for any of my hospital experiences, but the homebirths mine and my sisters were so wonderful. My daughter liked the film on the Russian midwives the best. I also liked some of the really great birth stories on Unassisted child birth.
I had six UC myself.
bananna

 

[parentingzen]

I would suggest that you check out hypnobirthing online. I know that it sounds all hippie and strange, but the way they approach birth just might calm your nerves down. They are all about relaxing and taking things one step at a time. I would really recommend it. You just have to get past the fact that it is called Hypnobirthing LOL
-Amy
(parentingzen)