Kid's Corporal Punishment - a Risk to Mental Health

Occams Barber

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My four-year-old son would have said that about a time out.
Then you have obviously handled the time out badly. Getting 'mad' and showing it is poor parenting.
The next question would be to ask if the child knew why mommy or daddy was mad.

So we emphasise your anger as part of the explanation?

There was one occasion when my kids were young when I lost my temper and it showed.

When I cooled down, I realised just how much I'd frightened them. I went and apologised to both kids.

You are the role model for your children.

OB
 
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RDKirk

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Then you have obviously handled the time out badly. Getting 'mad' and showing it is poor parenting.


So we emphasise your anger as part of the explanation?

There was one occasion when my kids were young when I lost my temper and it showed.

When I cooled down, I realised just how much I'd frightened them. I went and apologised to both kids.

You are the role model for your children.

OB
I was never truly angry at my children when they were young. It was only after they became adults that they ever did anything substantively wrong enough to make me angry. Well, there was the one time when my son was in middle school and I discovered he was "holding" a radio that a friend of his had stolen. Even then, my dominant emotion was fear, not anger.

But I did put on a face to show them I was displeased with their behavior. Was I supposed to smile at them while putting them through something they considered unpleasant? That would certainly convey a mixed signal.

When my son was young was back in the 80s when the television series "The Hulk" was airing ("Don't make me angry...you wouldn't like me when I'm angry"). He was fascinated by the Hulk, and loved to watch it, but in a special way: Sitting in my lap with my hands up in front of his face so that he could look around my hands to watch the program. But when David Banner was making his transformation into the Hulk, my son would retreat behind my hands. He wasn't the only small child fascinated by the Hulk...there were articles written about that phenomenon. People theorized that children saw themselves as the Hulk, calm one moment and enraged the next.

But one day he had misbehaved, I put on a face to let him know I was displeased, and he said, "Don't be Hulk, Papa." I was a single parent at the time, so I was in the roles of both nurturing mother and disciplinarian father. It was a wide range for a single person. It probably did make me seem like two different people at times, and there was no way around that.

And it's not good training to pretend to them that anger does not exist, that you don't feel it. "Be angry but sin not." They need to learn they can be angry and control it, and they need to see that modeled by their parents just as with everything else.
 
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R.Weeks79

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Kid's Corporal Punishment - a Risk to Mental Health
Various sources*


A new study by the Australian Catholic University (ACU) has revealed that children who are smacked repeatedly by their parents are nearly twice as likely to develop anxiety and depression later in life.

The study of 8500 18 to 24 year olds found 61% experienced corporal punishment, as children, four or more times.

Females who were hit as kids were 1.8 times more likely to have a major depressive disorder, and 2.1 times to experience anxiety. Males were 1.7 times more likely to develop depression, and 1.6 times more likely to develop anxiety if they’d been smacked.

Professor Darryl Higgins, a lead researcher for the ACU study, believes it paints a clear picture that even infrequent exposure to corporal punishment puts children at risk of mental health disorders.

Professor Higgins is calling for smacking of children to be made illegal in Australia consistent with laws banning corporal punishment in 62 other countries.

According to the Global Initiative to End All Corporal Punishment of Children, the evidence that corporal punishment is harmful to children, adults and societies is overwhelming:

“The more than 250 studies included in our review of research on the impact of and associations with corporal punishment show links between corporal punishment and a wide range of negative outcomes, including:
  • direct physical harm
  • negative impacts on mental and physical health
  • poor moral internalisation and increased antisocial behaviour
  • increased aggression in children
  • increased violent and criminal behaviour in adults
  • damaged education
  • damaged family relationships
  • increased acceptance and use of other forms of violence”
“The message from research is very clear: corporal punishment carries multiple risks of harm and has no benefits.”

*Sources:
OB
I was paddled by my teacher, & spanked by my mom, I was never beaten black and blue. It is not about spanking its about discipline which is sorly lacking today. In 1960 kids were not shooting up schools, they were beating up teachers, everyone go spankings
 
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Larniavc

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Lots of positive reinforcement. Where needed - negative reinforcement by showing disapproval by using facial expression (like frowning) or a 'stern' voice. Explanations of why an act was inappropriate when they were old enough to understand.

Never showing anger.

Remembering that you are the role model for their behaviour.
This is exactly how I have raised my son (he's eight). I've never smack, shouted or had to 'time out him'.

Never showing anger: I'd add patience and consistency.
 
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RDKirk

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Never showing anger.

Remembering that you are the role model for their behaviour.

OB
Everyone gets angry--eliminating anger is impossible. If you never model for them that it's possible to be angry and yet not lose control, then they don't learn that from you.
 
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Occams Barber

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Everyone gets angry--eliminating anger is impossible. If you never model for them that it's possible to be angry and yet not lose control, then they don't learn that from you.
Believe it or not I could count the number of times I've been truly angry on one hand. On the very rare occasions I've been angry it has been more of an internalised cold anger. I've also learned that anger tends to be caused by my own failings rather than the actions of others.

I model anger by not succumbing to the urge to express anger.

OB
 
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partinobodycular

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Believe it or not I could count the number of times I've been truly angry on one hand.

I can count the number of times I've been angry on one finger. It involved someone close to me who was severely depressed, and the powers that be refusing to let me talk to her because they were afraid of what I might say... she died. Yeah, I was angry. The one and only time.

I never showed it though, but man it was there.
 
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Daniel Marsh

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Kid's Corporal Punishment - a Risk to Mental Health
Various sources*


A new study by the Australian Catholic University (ACU) has revealed that children who are smacked repeatedly by their parents are nearly twice as likely to develop anxiety and depression later in life.

The study of 8500 18 to 24 year olds found 61% experienced corporal punishment, as children, four or more times.

Females who were hit as kids were 1.8 times more likely to have a major depressive disorder, and 2.1 times to experience anxiety. Males were 1.7 times more likely to develop depression, and 1.6 times more likely to develop anxiety if they’d been smacked.

Professor Darryl Higgins, a lead researcher for the ACU study, believes it paints a clear picture that even infrequent exposure to corporal punishment puts children at risk of mental health disorders.

Professor Higgins is calling for smacking of children to be made illegal in Australia consistent with laws banning corporal punishment in 62 other countries.

According to the Global Initiative to End All Corporal Punishment of Children, the evidence that corporal punishment is harmful to children, adults and societies is overwhelming:

“The more than 250 studies included in our review of research on the impact of and associations with corporal punishment show links between corporal punishment and a wide range of negative outcomes, including:
  • direct physical harm
  • negative impacts on mental and physical health
  • poor moral internalisation and increased antisocial behaviour
  • increased aggression in children
  • increased violent and criminal behaviour in adults
  • damaged education
  • damaged family relationships
  • increased acceptance and use of other forms of violence”
“The message from research is very clear: corporal punishment carries multiple risks of harm and has no benefits.”

*Sources:
OB
Hi friend, I was often beat to a pulp, and I do not fit any of those problems. In fact, my solution to the gun debate is simply use trac guns to knock out an intruder. One does not have to kill, just stop them from hurting others. When the Police arrive, I give them the name of the medication and its antidote.
 
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RDKirk

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I model anger by not succumbing to the urge to express anger.

OB
If they never knew you were angry, how have you modeled your means of controlling it?

This is an interesting difference between us.

You were actually angry but made sure they didn't know it.

I was never actually angry, but I put on a face to illustrate anger so that they could see how I controlled it.
 
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stevevw

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Kid's Corporal Punishment - a Risk to Mental Health
Various sources*


A new study by the Australian Catholic University (ACU) has revealed that children who are smacked repeatedly by their parents are nearly twice as likely to develop anxiety and depression later in life.

The study of 8500 18 to 24 year olds found 61% experienced corporal punishment, as children, four or more times.

Females who were hit as kids were 1.8 times more likely to have a major depressive disorder, and 2.1 times to experience anxiety. Males were 1.7 times more likely to develop depression, and 1.6 times more likely to develop anxiety if they’d been smacked.

Professor Darryl Higgins, a lead researcher for the ACU study, believes it paints a clear picture that even infrequent exposure to corporal punishment puts children at risk of mental health disorders.

Professor Higgins is calling for smacking of children to be made illegal in Australia consistent with laws banning corporal punishment in 62 other countries.

According to the Global Initiative to End All Corporal Punishment of Children, the evidence that corporal punishment is harmful to children, adults and societies is overwhelming:

“The more than 250 studies included in our review of research on the impact of and associations with corporal punishment show links between corporal punishment and a wide range of negative outcomes, including:
  • direct physical harm
  • negative impacts on mental and physical health
  • poor moral internalisation and increased antisocial behaviour
  • increased aggression in children
  • increased violent and criminal behaviour in adults
  • damaged education
  • damaged family relationships
  • increased acceptance and use of other forms of violence”
“The message from research is very clear: corporal punishment carries multiple risks of harm and has no benefits.”

*Sources:
OB
The problem I see is that since we had this idea of protecting kids and kids rights around the 90's early 2000s where all these social justice warrior school social workers went in we have actually created a worse problem. Ever since we made policies to breakup families we have created a worse problem as far as youth discipline is concerned.

All those harms caused by corporal punishment can be applied to todays youth and we havn't had corporal punishment for years. At least kids learnt to respect authority when there was heavy consequences for their behaviour. Not always physical punishment but the idea that punishment should make the person suffer something, be denied something was the norm and seemed to create a clear line people didn't cross.

Now young people cry for their rights, cry descrimination when they don't get their way, when they are denied something, when they have to suffer the consequences of their actions and the system caves in to their cries. Kids have learnt to disrespect authority and even want to destroy property and people in the process. Now there are no fathers in many families to even bring up their kids.

We tried to be their friends to the point we forgot what parenting meant and have gone too soft with all this PC rubbish which has created a different sort of monster which in many ways is worse than ever.

This mostly came about from the same sort of SJW in the past who have dismantled parental and family relationships especially undermining fathers. A strong parental relationship based on duty and sacrifice is the basis for a strong family which is automatically the basis for good child rearing.
 
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Confused-by-christianity

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I haven't got kids so my opinion is not qualified by experience ...

i would expect kids to follow my example.
If i hit, shout, smack - id expect the same from them to others.

I hope to lead by example.

I hope i can teach them a better way through demonstration.

then they know through experience

????

I can hear parents now saying "good luck" haha
 
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stevevw

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I haven't got kids so my opinion is not qualified by experience ...

i would expect kids to follow my example.
If i hit, shout, smack - id expect the same from them to others.

I hope to lead by example.

I hope i can teach them a better way through demonstration.

then they know through experience

????

I can here parents now saying "good luck" haha
Not really research shows that kids learn from parents or adults behaviour (what they actually do and believe) and not what they say. If they see a parent going on about Rights or treating people fairly and they don't treat people fairly then that is what they will pickup on.
 
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Confused-by-christianity

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Not really research shows that kids learn from parents or adults behaviour (what they actually do and believe) and not what they say. If they see a parent going on about Rights or treating people fairly and they don't treat people fairly then that is what they will pickup on.
I mean good luck trying to not smack haha
 
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timothyu

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Not really research shows that kids learn from parents or adults behaviour (what they actually do and believe) and not what they say. If they see a parent going on about Rights or treating people fairly and they don't treat people fairly then that is what they will pickup on.
Yes kids have a built in quality hypocrisy sensor which seems to fade with age.
 
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stevevw

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Yes kids have a built in quality hypocrisy sensor which seems to fade with age.
Or maybe it increases with age. They grow up with the parent watching their every move. They then grow older and begin to get insights into why parents behave that way, the underlying psychological reasons and then they know you inside out.

Its good in a way as they can pull you up when you get things wrong because they know you better than anyone else often seeing themseves in their parents. My son has done this a few times and though I first deny it he's often right when I think about it. Theres no hiding when your a parent lol.
 
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Larniavc

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All those harms caused by corporal punishment can be applied to todays youth
No. That’s not how things work. Children are removed from families as a last resort.

If it is illegal to strike an adult it should be illegal to strike a child.
 
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