Keeping the conversation going

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

So how do you keep the conversation going when the person you are with is not a big talker-doesn't really know what to talk about so it is usually up to you to keep it going and interesting? How do you keep conversation in a relationship like this?

And we are long distance so that is really struggle...not so much always in person because silence is different. But when you run out of talking about your day....then what?

 

[Teufelhund]

You talk, just keep talking, talk about your day, about things that you both like. If you are really connecting well then that will work. Sometimes my fiancee and I would conversations that were just: "I love you" over and over and over when I was in Iraq, and that was really helpful for me. Talk about things you saw that were interesting, things you did that day, anything that will make him feel like your nearer to him helps, as insignificant and mundane it may seem it will make the distance that much less.

 

[K9_Trainer]

You'd be suprised how far a random question can go. Me and my SO had a rather long conversation once that started simply because he asked me my opinion on motorcycles.

Our convos have a really good flow to them, we'll start on a subject and it'll just keep morphing into new subjects. So when your talking to him, look for appropriate opportunities to start morphing the convo. If he mentions something about cars, that can remind you of a really pretty Viper or something you saw today, or of that hybrid you want someday. A convo on hybrid vehicles can lead to the environment. A convo on the environment can lead to camping. Etc etc. Just be actively seeking for something to discuss. That may be difficult for you if your not that type of person, but it can be done.

I'm not sure me and my SO talk about our day for more than 10 minutes unless something really interesting happened cuz quite frankly, we have boring lives and we both know it . We are long distance as well.

 

[alfrodull]

Keeping the conversation completely fascinating 100% of the time isn't important. This is not to say it's alright to NEVER have intellectually-stimulating conversations, but there are times when it's enough to know that you're thinking of each other. Like my fiance mentioned, there are times when we just sit mostly in silence and say "I love you" periodically. When you can't see or touch, I think that's the next best thing to being able to just cuddle next to one another.

It also helps if you can find an activity to do together. We like to play DnD, and we just bought Guild Wars.

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

We are both pretty talkitive (especially him) so we don't run into this much. If we are having a rare "off" day where we are both tired or something we just acknowledge that and don't try to force a conversation (it is good for us to go to bed before midnight sometimes anyway). As far as our conversations go, they are just completely and utterly random.

 

[Windmill]

So how do you keep the conversation going when the person you are with is not a big talker-doesn't really know what to talk about so it is usually up to you to keep it going and interesting? How do you keep conversation in a relationship like this?

And we are long distance so that is really struggle...not so much always in person because silence is different. But when you run out of talking about your day....then what?

Well it depends. Are you up to a stage in your life where you can sit in silence, even for quite awhile over the phone, and then talk again, then sit in silence?

If not, then QUESTIONS.

Ask QUESTIONS. He talks about his day, ask him a question about something he said. He says he caught the bus home, you say was it a pleasent ride? He says yes it was, you ask do you normally take it home? He says yes I do I don't have a car. Oh yes, you don't have a car do you. A bus can be expensive though, did you ever think of taking a bike? He says its far too cold to ride a bike out. You say how cold is it?

Or, just ask him questions about him. Ask him about stuff. People love to talk about themselves.

 

[Markus6]

If not, then QUESTIONS.

I wasn't expecting some sort of spanish inquistion!

(Joke to make the serious point: make sure you keep them light and fun - make sure you don't turn it into an interview)

 

[ka393]

Iam not a big talker but my baby is =), usually he is the one that has to start asking questions and get me to talk. Iam usually quiet and do good job at listening more than talking in my everyday life, buuut I started learning to talk more specially now with my boyfriend I know I have to care more and be able to ask him questions and just say whats on my mind , what I feel like talking about and about my feelings towards him. Everything seems to come natural when we talk..and at times it does feel like there is nothing to talk about..but we always end up saying something and then talking about it for hours , like food lol...very intresting topic ha? well it doesnt matter tho..anything can be great thing to talk about..coz you get to learn more about the person anyways from anything you end up talking about. Also a tip , do not think too much about what you wanna talk about, that kind of ruins it and makes it even harder for you to come up with anything.

 

[miss_klara]

We play "Would you rather" when we run out of things to say.
"Would you rather be a shadow or a reflection? Why?"
"Would you rather be a meat patty, or a burger bun? Why?"
"Would you rather be the sun or the moon? Why?"
Etc etc... We found it fun, especially at the start of the relationship!!!

 

[Thornado]

I wasn't expecting some sort of spanish inquistion!

NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise....

 

[Niffer]

LOL, wow do I feel like I could've written that post!
My husband and I were a long-distance relationship for 2 years. I saw him, maybe every 4 months for 4 days or so.
We talked every single night on the phone - and I understand! You finally come to a point where you've talked about practically everything. Or so you think.
Some nights there were these great, amazingly in depth conversations about personal issues. . . . other days were talk about the weather, school and um...did I mention the weather??

I realized it doesn't matter what you talk about as long as you keep the ability to talk open. We had 15 minutes of silence or so on the phone - (mostly when I start to fall asleep on the phone) but we understand it's not because we're bored or find eachother boring - we just ran out of topics.

Don't worry about it. You'll have more to talk about once you're together. Promise.

~ Niff

 

[sweaterpoorlyknit]

He's at university in a city about an hour away so we're kind of long distance too.

Haha I'm definitely the big talker in our relationship. He's gotten a lot better about it over the years but he still is more to himself about things and that's just how he is! I just talk until I "get it out of him" Sometimes we'll both be in a talkative mood and I love it and we talk for an hour or two. But every few nights he isn't or I'm not and that's okay too. I don't like it as much of course- but we always make sure to talk about how our days were and all and how we love eachother and then we get off.

I think instead of worrying so much- just be yourself. Joke about it with him, and accept it. Try and keep it going but not so far that you just feel desperate and he is frustrated, you know?