I dont really per se need to apply it in my life, I just thought it should help since I feel despair continually, and ive experienced hell, but maybe there's more worldly ideas that would help?
I think the idea that Gods presence is either experienced as refining and good, or experienced as destructive and bad, depending on the individual, that’s an interesting (and so far as I’m aware orthodox) thing. In some real sense, we author a lot of our own pain.
Or to simplify, never underestimate your own ability to make something worse than it is. That’s an empowering idea too, because if we can so easily make matters worse, then we can make them better too.
but maybe there's more worldly ideas that would help?
I think so too. Eating right, sleep, talk therapy, maybe if it helps, there are Bible verses that help to point the way toward what we see as “worldly” aids to alleviate suffering. C. S. Lewis once wrote “God likes matter, He invented it.” So we shouldn’t scoff at worldly seeming ideas or consider ourselves above this wicked world, we want to belong here too on some level.
Recently I heard how in social experiments, even being rejected by an outliers group like the KKK or white nationalist party causes upset in regular people. We are hardwire for things like family, job satisfaction, friendship and romantic love. They’re wrapped up in affirming who we are and acceptance after all.
The one which might be from God, told me besides other things that I would get back with my ex at a specific time in some years. Am I supposed to hope in that?
Without knowing the people involved it’s hard to say, but as a general rule I’d write not to hold out hope for any one person. I feel that robs people of joy and causes an unrealistic field of vision around the opposite sex, not only does that one person get an invincible aura, but then we start overlooking or misunderstanding the wider world of people who you might be happy with.
This was insightful, thank you. Though i dont know where exactly I should be emotionally focusing myself instead then.
You’re welcome buddy. One of the most helpful things I’ve found is to not gravitate towards many Christian saying that the community use to set our standards low. For example, have you ever heard “Jesus doesn’t promise us success or happiness, he promises that we’ll suffer!” Or maybe “Jesus spoke more about hell than about heaven!” “Take up your cross daily!”
I’m not meaning to say these things aren’t right or true or biblical, rather I’m saying for some personalities, and at some points in our lives, these sayings are like toxic shock. They’re killing people in the church.
Only you know if these sayings are negative when they get into your headspace, and if they are I’d urge that you practice some of that newfangled self care that fruity too-tie liberal people are always banging on about.
You probably need basics my friend.
Secure job. Friends. Exercise. A solid non religious hobby (just for the sake of depressurising your stress.)
I know lots of this seems general or even vague, but when practiced things like diet and exercise work wonders on people. We just need some faith that they actually work, even if it feels a bit naff getting into them.