I am a survivor of sibling incest as well as sexual molestation by a neighbor. On top of this (or maybe partly because of it?) I also have a history of promiscuity. I feel like dating is scary because of this...I am conventionally attractive and it seems that all the guys I have dated recently start off thinking I'm "the one" and then dump me when the "virgin" talk comes around. I think they don't want to deal with a girl who has a "history."
Has anyone else dealt with this, and what is your advice? I feel very sad over it, and the idea of possible rejection in the future, over and over as I seek out a mate, is just agonizing to me, and makes me want to just not even go there.
I know that Jesus loves and forgives me, etc., but having other people, men, who say they are Christians, get hung up on my past and on the parts of me that are a little "heavier" than what they'd "prefer" in a girl just doesn't help me in my quest to remain in a right mindset with God...it makes me feel confused and hopeless about things. Especially because all of this comes after they think I am so great, and tell me so....so that the rejection is like a slap in the face. I know that the best way to win someone is to be positive and carefree, fun-loving, but honestly, I am a real person, not a doll or a toy, and therefore I am not only imperfect, but am not happy-go-lucky all the time. Does this just all mean that I am unhealthy and need to "work" on myself so that I can be really positive and cheery to increase my chances of meeting a husband, or does it mean that I am just finding people who are insecure with imperfection or pain?
I have been really careful to not divulge too much info too soon (don't throw your pearls out) but that doesn't seem to be "working". Again, am very sad about this. I feel like the guys who are in their late 20s and up are very picky about who and what they want, and are more willing to "hold out" for their perfect girl....a girl who doesn't need anyone, ironically...consequently, my heart is left in the dust at times.
Has anyone else dealt with this, and what is your advice? I feel very sad over it, and the idea of possible rejection in the future, over and over as I seek out a mate, is just agonizing to me, and makes me want to just not even go there.
I know that Jesus loves and forgives me, etc., but having other people, men, who say they are Christians, get hung up on my past and on the parts of me that are a little "heavier" than what they'd "prefer" in a girl just doesn't help me in my quest to remain in a right mindset with God...it makes me feel confused and hopeless about things. Especially because all of this comes after they think I am so great, and tell me so....so that the rejection is like a slap in the face. I know that the best way to win someone is to be positive and carefree, fun-loving, but honestly, I am a real person, not a doll or a toy, and therefore I am not only imperfect, but am not happy-go-lucky all the time. Does this just all mean that I am unhealthy and need to "work" on myself so that I can be really positive and cheery to increase my chances of meeting a husband, or does it mean that I am just finding people who are insecure with imperfection or pain?
I have been really careful to not divulge too much info too soon (don't throw your pearls out) but that doesn't seem to be "working". Again, am very sad about this. I feel like the guys who are in their late 20s and up are very picky about who and what they want, and are more willing to "hold out" for their perfect girl....a girl who doesn't need anyone, ironically...consequently, my heart is left in the dust at times.
