Ugh, I'm just not feeling the best lately... I mean, I go through phases multiple times a day of being really happy or content, but it always seems to come back to feeling bad, not motivated, upset, and lately, not feeling like what I do is good enough. Almost every night I end up, for some reason, crying in my room at night. I often wonder why people like my art, as I have low confidence in my drawing abilities and I never like what I draw, and that just makes me want to get better at art... I'd like to add I draw for HOURS everyday and I'm not too bad at it... I draw a lot of fan art from animes, but lately I've been branching out and doing more original work, landscapes, ect, and I put a lot of effort and studying into it.
And then my older sister, who I adore might I add(we're best friends) drew a picture of a character from Avengers and stuck it up on facebook, and it turned out really really good, and that's awesome! She's better at realistic people than I am, but ugh, she's got two people who want to pay her to draw something for them, and I don't think I'm jealous, but I'd love it if people would want to buy my art.
I also taught myself violin and have bene playing piano for several years, but when I see youtube videos of people playing my favourite songs on violin or piano, I wish I could do that, and know I just need practice, but when I go to practice, I just play the same things over and over, except for on violin where I'll branch out and try to play new songs by ear... I don't really mind that that much, I just wanted to throw that out there...
I just, don't know. I'll probably feel perfectly fine later on and silly for writing this... I just don't even know what to say right now. I hope I can stay motivated for school, but I'm really not looking forward to my history class since I can never focus on it or understand what's going on in it, and due to that, despite the 3 front and back pages of notes I took and was able to use, I still got a 3 out of 7 or something like that on my quiz.
And to make things worse, still, my dad is out of work and we don't have health insurance or anything like that, and I probably need to go to the doctor-- if not to get my mental health checked up on(I have more issues than just these), I've got a chronic productive cough I'd like to get checked out since it's been going on for probably a year... I don't remember... I cant' remember not having it.
I just can't explain what I'm feeling in another words.... I can never explain what I'm feeling through words, and that's what my art is for, which usually leads it to be dark, sad, or depressing pieces of art...
I don't really expect anyone to read this through ,I just wanted to rant since that's pretty much the only thing that makes me feel better.... I don't like talking to people in real life either about this stuff when I feel this way, because I don't like crying in front of them over this sort of stuff--because it makes me feel a little stupid....
anyway... yeah... sorry to write such a downer post
And then my older sister, who I adore might I add(we're best friends) drew a picture of a character from Avengers and stuck it up on facebook, and it turned out really really good, and that's awesome! She's better at realistic people than I am, but ugh, she's got two people who want to pay her to draw something for them, and I don't think I'm jealous, but I'd love it if people would want to buy my art.
I also taught myself violin and have bene playing piano for several years, but when I see youtube videos of people playing my favourite songs on violin or piano, I wish I could do that, and know I just need practice, but when I go to practice, I just play the same things over and over, except for on violin where I'll branch out and try to play new songs by ear... I don't really mind that that much, I just wanted to throw that out there...
I just, don't know. I'll probably feel perfectly fine later on and silly for writing this... I just don't even know what to say right now. I hope I can stay motivated for school, but I'm really not looking forward to my history class since I can never focus on it or understand what's going on in it, and due to that, despite the 3 front and back pages of notes I took and was able to use, I still got a 3 out of 7 or something like that on my quiz.
And to make things worse, still, my dad is out of work and we don't have health insurance or anything like that, and I probably need to go to the doctor-- if not to get my mental health checked up on(I have more issues than just these), I've got a chronic productive cough I'd like to get checked out since it's been going on for probably a year... I don't remember... I cant' remember not having it.
I just can't explain what I'm feeling in another words.... I can never explain what I'm feeling through words, and that's what my art is for, which usually leads it to be dark, sad, or depressing pieces of art...
I don't really expect anyone to read this through ,I just wanted to rant since that's pretty much the only thing that makes me feel better.... I don't like talking to people in real life either about this stuff when I feel this way, because I don't like crying in front of them over this sort of stuff--because it makes me feel a little stupid....
anyway... yeah... sorry to write such a downer post