Some OCD stuff I'm going through:
Often whenever I go to eat I will have apprehension about eating something because it may not be the best choice nutritionally, though I am trying to do my best. Often times I will be preparing food, and then I get an aggressive feeling or thought in my heart towards God's Spirit, and then I just throw the food away. I often get frustrated because there is almost nothing in my house I can eat because I have had an aggressive thought or feeling towards God's Spirit while preparing the food, I make a vow involving the food "if I eat this, then I won't be able to do that", or that I've made general vows regarding a certain type of food. I also have allergic reactions to some foods so some foods I should not have. I feel compelled to deny myself of an item on my shopping list when I go grocery shopping at times. If I have an aggressive thought towards God's Spirit then I feel I definately cannot buy it. I am so aggravated by OCD, I am having trouble eating, getting ready to go places, sleeping sometimes, and just performing functions. I wish I was like Christians who can say "hey, I think I want to do this." and then do it without any vow making process or obsessive thoughts. I struggle with this only in front of God, His Holy Spirit, Jesus and people on this forum. Most people who are not educated on OCD think that you can just snap out of it. I can't deal with having to educate people on top of the roadblock of ignorance about the disorder; so I do not feel comfortable sharing with normal people who do not know about OCD. Therapy is expensive. I have no job and do not know what state I am going to live in after the next few weeks so I can't even commit to anything. On top of that, I feel like I have to be superwoman. I love my Mom, but she has a lot of health issues and is also not the most responsible person in the world. Even though that is the case, I do not want my mother to pass away or otherwise be taken from me. Also, I have the demands of needing to find work, needing to function, needing to find a place to live, transportation, plus the expectations placed on me by people who are around me and requests placed on me by the Church. Do not get me wrong, I like doing some things to further God's kingdom. I just feel like I can't handle anymore pressure from anywhere. I would go for some time by myself, but, I don't have a car. I am staying with some people until I get my own place and they are almost always there. It is just so hard to function with this disorder and all the other demands of life. Your prayers are appreciated. After writing this the Scripture about how we are not to complain has come to my mind. What is the balance on this? How do we get help if we do not complain? Are we to just complain to God and not others?
Thanks.
Often whenever I go to eat I will have apprehension about eating something because it may not be the best choice nutritionally, though I am trying to do my best. Often times I will be preparing food, and then I get an aggressive feeling or thought in my heart towards God's Spirit, and then I just throw the food away. I often get frustrated because there is almost nothing in my house I can eat because I have had an aggressive thought or feeling towards God's Spirit while preparing the food, I make a vow involving the food "if I eat this, then I won't be able to do that", or that I've made general vows regarding a certain type of food. I also have allergic reactions to some foods so some foods I should not have. I feel compelled to deny myself of an item on my shopping list when I go grocery shopping at times. If I have an aggressive thought towards God's Spirit then I feel I definately cannot buy it. I am so aggravated by OCD, I am having trouble eating, getting ready to go places, sleeping sometimes, and just performing functions. I wish I was like Christians who can say "hey, I think I want to do this." and then do it without any vow making process or obsessive thoughts. I struggle with this only in front of God, His Holy Spirit, Jesus and people on this forum. Most people who are not educated on OCD think that you can just snap out of it. I can't deal with having to educate people on top of the roadblock of ignorance about the disorder; so I do not feel comfortable sharing with normal people who do not know about OCD. Therapy is expensive. I have no job and do not know what state I am going to live in after the next few weeks so I can't even commit to anything. On top of that, I feel like I have to be superwoman. I love my Mom, but she has a lot of health issues and is also not the most responsible person in the world. Even though that is the case, I do not want my mother to pass away or otherwise be taken from me. Also, I have the demands of needing to find work, needing to function, needing to find a place to live, transportation, plus the expectations placed on me by people who are around me and requests placed on me by the Church. Do not get me wrong, I like doing some things to further God's kingdom. I just feel like I can't handle anymore pressure from anywhere. I would go for some time by myself, but, I don't have a car. I am staying with some people until I get my own place and they are almost always there. It is just so hard to function with this disorder and all the other demands of life. Your prayers are appreciated. After writing this the Scripture about how we are not to complain has come to my mind. What is the balance on this? How do we get help if we do not complain? Are we to just complain to God and not others?
Thanks.
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