Just realized

[nateboy]

Alright...It looks like I may, in fact, be bipolar two and not just on the lower end of the spectrum. I never knew that a lot of bipolar two's suffer from severe anxiety and the whole "project" issue. The grieving process will begin and I must pray!

 

[youthwalk]

Alright...It looks like I may, in fact, be bipolar two and not just on the lower end of the spectrum. I never knew that a lot of bipolar two's suffer from severe anxiety and the whole "project" issue. The grieving process will begin and I must pray!

Hi nateboy,
I was diagnosed bipolar II three years ago and I must say that I amire your proactiveness.
I had anxiety and obsessive symptoms...the were relatively mild and they come and go with hypomania.

what exactly do you mean by "project" issues?

I'm keeping you in prayer.

Father please be with nateboy at this time. Lord garrison her with Your love that she may be strengthened and comforted. Father, see her faithfulness and desire to be close to You and draw close to her that she may know of Your faithfulness. Lord it is Your word that those who hope in You are renewed so I ask Father that You renew nateboy daily for the trials that may face her. Holy Spirit please bring soundness of mind, power and stability to nateboy each day. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Keep us updated on how you're doing...

 

[berry2000]

Yes that is the journey that I am beginning to take as well. Diagnosed bipolar II due to the depression and anxiety w/ only super mild hypomania. What is the project?

 

[PrairieGurl]

Alright...It looks like I may, in fact, be bipolar two and not just on the lower end of the spectrum. I never knew that a lot of bipolar two's suffer from severe anxiety and the whole "project" issue. The grieving process will begin and I must pray!

Dear Nateboy,

As I am also a newly diagnosed b/p 2 (as of June 06) I feel for you The grieving process is quite draining. I do want you to know...this is normal for people who have been diagnosed with an illness (whether it be mental or physical)... You may be thru the denial stage, there may be some anger and then "why me"?. Don't "beat" yourself up for feeling these feelings. Do share these feelings with those who understand what you are going thru.
As you go thru this process...you will learn more about your illness, hopefully learn techniques on how to deal and recognize symptoms and find the right meds to combat this disease.
And prayerfully know in your heart that God will carry you!

You are not alone on this journey.

s & s,
Wendy

 

[Abigayle's Legacy]

OK I have to jump in to this one......I never grieved being BP I rejoiced ....because when I found out I was BP.... I was relieved I knew I wasn't crazy.... and there was a reason I did all the insane things in my life.
OK maybe I was little crazy ....LOL.... but there was help for me I was now taking a medicine and I didn't wake up feeling like I wanted to jump off a building... wow that was a new experience.
Cancer brought me fibromyalgia which brought me Pamelor which brought me a new life. So I'm ok with illness it served a great purpose... and we never know why God allows things to happen.
Am I all better... no.. I obsess alot over strange things my friend WTB will attest to that... right W but the point is a diagnosis and hope is better than not knowing..... why grieve we are not alone there are others like us and a loving God who will use this.
Yes it's ok to grieve but it wasn't my experience and I
still have "dark" days that's what I call them but I know now they will pass that is the light in the darkness.
I will pray for all of you here ......and thanks for letting me share.

Dear Heavenly Father,
I pray for my brothers and sisters in this thread that they will always remember there is a shining light that can break through the darknesss and many hands especially Yours waiting to pull them through to the bright and "SHINING SON" touch them heal them love them and let them remember they are never alone.
In Jesus's name I pray
Amen

 

[rushingwind62]

OK I have to jump in to this one......I never grieved being BP I rejoiced ....because when I found out I was BP.... I was relieved I knew I wasn't crazy.... and there was a reason I did all the insane things in my life.
OK maybe I was little crazy ....LOL.... but there was help for me I was now taking a medicine and I didn't wake up feeling like I wanted to jump off a building... wow that was a new experience.
Cancer brought me fibromyalgia which brought me Pamelor which brought me a new life. So I'm ok with illness it served a great purpose... and we never know why God allows things to happen.
Am I all better... no.. I obsess alot over strange things my friend WTB will attest to that... right W but the point is a diagnosis and hope is better than not knowing..... why grieve we are not alone there are others like us and a loving God who will use this.
Yes it's ok to grieve but it wasn't my experience and I
still have "dark" days that's what I call them but I know now they will pass that is the light in the darkness.
I will pray for all of you here ......and thanks for letting me share.

Dear Heavenly Father,
I pray for my brothers and sisters in this thread that they will always remember there is a shining light that can break through the darknesss and many hands especially Yours waiting to pull them through to the bright and "SHINING SON" touch them heal them love them and let them remember they are never alone.
In Jesus's name I pray
Amen

I agree with you. Finding out I was BP was also a blessing to me for the same reasons.

 

[Abigayle's Legacy]

There you go Gabby says with a laugh and a dance...
the upside to being BP you are not crazy you are normal in your abnormal state... ....this can be good.... better than being crazy and not knowing why right?
The best medicine besides your meds... prayer and the LORD...... laughter I have learned to laugh at my life... myself ....my pain I think I might start a thread let's laugh together if you think tears are healing try a good hearty on the floor laugh what do you think? And yes when they diagnosed me with cancer I laughed in the doctors face strange but true...when I lost all my hair from chemo after I freaked out I laughed....and I will keep laughing it is what keeps me sane ooooooooo I'm sane wow I didnt' know that! Naaaaaaaaaaaw!

 

[Crystal~Rose]

I was diagnosed about 4 weeks ago at first I was really upset, I cried alot and did not want to accept it. but as I started feeling better than I have in nearly 2 years a light began to come on that maybe...just maybe I can have my life back only better than I could have imagined possible. I have always had panic and anxiety issues that prevented me from doing many things in life I feel I missed out on, I feel like I am coming out of the shell I have lived in for so long. today I have hope so if nothing else cling to the fact that God has a plan and he has our best intrest in mind. Praying for you, may God bless you.

 

[PrairieGurl]

Dear Nateboy,

I so wish I would have experienced what LuvinJC4ever, Rush, and Gabby have expressed in their posts.

You guys expressed it so beautifully! One day I'll look back and realize I'm thinking just like you are

Take their words to heart Nate as how you will soon come to believe and feel.

Sometimes it's hard, but mostley a relief to know

s & s
Wendy

 

[Abigayle's Legacy]

And they all said AMEN! Because a new dawn is coming.....and when I have one of my "dark" days and you are feeling better nate you can remind me of these words cause by then you too will understand!

 

[nateboy]

Thank you for all your support. It's amazing to me about how most of you do have the anxiety, depression during the winter, and obsessive thoughts. What I meant by "projects" is that during the spring and summer and sometimes all the time (not really winter), I go through slight hypomania (I guess - I always thought it was ADHD), where I just want to get involved in everything (i.e., tap dancing, volunteering, foster care, jazz dancing, learning the piano, learning how to sew, trying to read about five books at a time while raising a child). What does this amount to, really not accomplishing anything. Also, I feel that everything needs to be done and needs to be NOW. If it isn't my anxiety goes into overdrive and I get very irritable thinking that everyone is procrastinating and then everything will crumble before my eyes. When I was a teenager, I was really bad. My mood cycles were A LOT worse - my poor mom. Off Topic, my screen name is Nateboy after my son. I am actually female.

So, does this truely sound like bipolar II. See, still denial. I always thought that bipolar II meant severe depression in the winter. I sometimes don't get that but I do get really really tired so perhaps I am depressed but don't realize it. When I lived in Arizona, I didn't get the depression as much as the Anxiety, so it was a little different.

I was dx with Bipolar from a psychiatrist about 8 years ago and he gave me Depakote. Since that medication did make me depressed and very tired, he undx me. I am finding it probably just wasn't the right med. He then continued with the dx of SAD, Anxiety and ADHD. I never thought of SAD being part of the spectrum. I also realize I am so much like the rest of the bipolar II's here. I have so many dx's it's unbelievable. I guess I, along with a lot of you, can relate to so many people. I also experience Fibromylgia and still do at times.

It has been three days without sun in WA state (recently moved back to gloomy days) and it's starting again. I am starting to get really tired, yet at the same time I can't get to sleep until around 2:00 am. That is even with medication. My friend is getting me up around 5:00 am to work out, so I am trying to shift my body clock...it's not working. I pray it will soon, however, I know that during the winter it may be a moot point.

So, what do you all think seriously....am I really bipolar II?? See, still in denial. I was alright with the ADHD, GAD, LD, SAD dx but I have a hard time with having bipolar II...why is that?

Again thanks for your support. I am thankful to finally meet people experiencing the same thing like I do. It's so very strange!! It seems that most of you are Christian as well, if not all!! What a complete blessing. It seems that some Christian camps of thinking is that you must be "demon possessed" or lack faith if you suffer from these disorders. Our faith can always improve, but I do believe my faith gets stronger each day and wouldn't say I lack it compared to the "average" Christian. In fact, having all these problems have almost forced me to learn what real faith is.

I can't wait to read more of your postings!!

 

[Abigayle's Legacy]

Sister I am in one of the Hypomania modes and I too have fibromyalgia...I take pamelor 10 mgs that's it. Noone knows how it works I do...God.
But I still have a milder version of all the moods and right now I'm manic to the max..can't eat can't sleep a little of both but a little.....oh yeah the crash is a coming but what the heck I have all of you to get me through it's not like I don't know it will go away and it always does.
So look to the "Heavens from where our help comes" and know as we all keep saying this too shall pass.
Look at it this way I always do.....Fall time we get depressed the leaves fall from the trees the trees are bare sheding the old...that's us we stay bare like the trees sheding our tired skins through winter feeling cold and lonely but we have God sheltering us from the storm the spring comes we have been renewed growing fresh leaves...... tougher skins a new rebirth...summer is here we are alive and shining with the "SON" then it all starts again in the Fall it's life our life and death our death we are always renewing ourselves in Christ we die with Him we live with Him.
How beautiful now if you look at it that we maybe it will be more bearable for you I know for me it is.

 

[Mitsy]

LOL I'm sure glad that I wasn't the only one who ever thought of jumping off a bridge.

 

[nateboy]

OK, I think I am in the hypomania mood but soon will reach severe SAD - which is probably depression although I don't feel depressed I just can sleep forever. I have a light box, so I am hoping that will help. Right now it's 1:00. I don't sleep much anymore. I am tired during the day, but can survive because my anxiety levels help me (sounds strange). Even with my Klonopin to help me sleep at night, doesn't work. Does anything really work during these times?/

 

[PrairieGurl]

OK, I think I am in the hypomania mood but soon will reach severe SAD - which is probably depression although I don't feel depressed I just can sleep forever. I have a light box, so I am hoping that will help. Right now it's 1:00. I don't sleep much anymore. I am tired during the day, but can survive because my anxiety levels help me (sounds strange). Even with my Klonopin to help me sleep at night, doesn't work. Does anything really work during these times?/

That's a really tough question to answer
When you see how this time of season affects people who do not have a mental illness....you really wonder what kinda chance you have
Lite boxes have made major changes in some people.
Vitamin B has been a god sent for many.
Excercise works for some.
and others need to 'do it all' perse.
I'm going to try different things till I find something that works.

s & s,
Wendy

 

[youthwalk]

OK, I think I am in the hypomania mood but soon will reach severe SAD - which is probably depression although I don't feel depressed I just can sleep forever. I have a light box, so I am hoping that will help. Right now it's 1:00. I don't sleep much anymore. I am tired during the day, but can survive because my anxiety levels help me (sounds strange). Even with my Klonopin to help me sleep at night, doesn't work. Does anything really work during these times?/

That's a really tough question to answer
When you see how this time of season affects people who do not have a mental illness....you really wonder what kinda chance you have
Lite boxes have made major changes in some people.
Vitamin B has been a god sent for many.
Excercise works for some.
and others need to 'do it all' perse.
I'm going to try different things till I find something that works.

s & s,
Wendy

I agree here.
Vitamin B12 with Iron has helped me to maintain stability as well as a good diet of things which contribute to serotonin production. Vitamin B6 is great for that as well.

I've cut out meat almost totally from my diet and added more almonds, soya (protein is very important), less salt, more flavour, more organic foods and less of the processed stuff.

It really has helped me because I've never felt this light, relaxed physically, energetic and overall I feel good. The swings still come but I feel like my body is working with me now. Rather than against me.

Wendy is right, try stuff to see what works for you. Changing my diet and adding B12 and Pantogar has really helped me. I actually feel healthy. I think healthy and I and my loved ones can see the results. My pdoc has decreased my meds and I'm doing well.

I have visited a Christian psychologist/nutritionist who specialises in bipolar treatment and I incorporated all she told me with what was practical and doable for me.

The type of music you listen to can also help through those stubborn times. Feel good music is so called for a reason. There are melodies which can boost the good hormones and hence your mood. Something as simple as listening to "what a friend we have in Jesus" or for energy I listen to Yolanda Adams' Victory. The key is to guage your mood correctly as some upbeat songs can actually cause aggitation rather than give a boost. Soothe yourself...it helps. And listen to yourself.

God Bless you!

 

[nateboy]

I will try what you all have mentioned. I am probably vitamin B12 deficient and really need to change my eating habits.

My depression has set it as I haven't been able to stop crying for a few days now. The crying has a reason, though. I am sad that I have to work full time while most of my friends get to work part time or not at all. Those who have children. My child is three years old. I have never had it hit me like this. For two years, I lived in AZ and was more stable. Now I am hitting rock bottom. I am beginning not to care about my job and am tempted to say, "I quit." I have never been like that perhaps because I have mostly been on the hypomania - extremly anxious side of the spectrum. Times like these I really wish I was more on the "other side" as I was more able to function and didn't have to "act" like everything is well although I can barely function.

I have been praying constantly, but it still is there. I still can't get certain thoughts out of my head such as, "I have messed up somehow because my child is in daycare," or "God is punishing me for messing up somehow and that's the reason why my family has to suffer." I realize this is just lies from satan, but emotionally the depression is still there - the fatigue the feeling of not truly caring. I don't. I have been without my son for two nights now (at a convention) so perhaps that is what really sparked it, although I felt it coming before I went. I never thought I was a depressed person but coming back to WA state made me realize that I am. It has been sunny here, which is why I don't understand my depression except for I am cycling...Gosh, what a concept for a newly dx person...it is a slight relief but this just sucks to put it mildly. I am crying for everything...all the injustices in the world...reading the paper, reading books, crying over special ed law at my conference (that is really sad when you do that...it's a conference). I force myself to socialize with my collegues. They are really nice and I end up having a good time, just to arrive in the hotel room and bawl again...cry for sometimes no apparent reason. We have been blessed although I do have to work full time...we have a roof over our heads and can eat out on occasions. That deserves all the praise in the world and if God didn't provide those things I should still praise him for every breath (visited Africa and thats how the ones with little possession have such large faith).