Just pondering something...

[leothelioness]

The marriage book thread kinda sparked this thought. What about marriage is better than just having a life-long partner? I guess what I'm asking is what makes marriage the ultimate goal rather than just being in a good relationship? How does a ring and papers make it more important/special? If that makes any sense.

 

[CrusaderKing]

How does a ring and papers make it more important/special? If that makes any sense.

I wonder that myself sometimes.

 

[Marycita]

It's not a ring and papers...it's a covenant

 

[Nom De Guerre]

I think she's expressing just that Marycita, that the covenant with God is worth much more than having rings and papers which state your marital status.

 

[Riot Riot Riot]

It allows you to bump uglies without the guilt!!!

And other things....



EDIT: No, this is not my ONLY reasoning for wanting to get married. Bahahahaha, I'm just in a particularly funny mood tonight.

 

[leothelioness]

It's not a ring and papers...it's a covenant

Yeah, but can't you just make that covenant to eachother and God without all the extras? Would it still be just as valid?

 

[Marycita]

I think she's expressing just that Marycita, that the covenant with God is worth much more than having rings and papers which state your marital status.

OH!!! I'm sorry

 

[ampbelle3130]

The marriage book thread kinda sparked this thought. What about marriage is better than just having a life-long partner? I guess what I'm asking is what makes marriage the ultimate goal rather than just being in a good relationship? How does a ring and papers make it more important/special? If that makes any sense.

the first thing that came to mind is sex.
the Bible doesnt state that if you are in a committed relationship you can be sexually intimate. it's quite clear in that it states that is something to be enjoyed within a marriage.
and to me...that's a HUGE bonus.

i could do without the ring really. that isnt important to me. what is important to me is having something that is set as a covenant between the man i love, myself and God. something that is promised with more that just words.

 

[Nom De Guerre]

I believe so Leo, but it'd have to be something that was worked out together between the two and probably wouldn't be something that could take place within the first year or so of their relationship to make sure it's not just emotions or hormones taking over. It'd also have to take place between two people who hold their union to the utmost degree.

 

[citizenthom]

Marriage is saying to the entire world, "I have these duties to this person and will honor them." And it is adding legal teeth to those duties, indicating that you are willing to make them very real and physical requirements, not just soft "promises" between the two of you. It shows the highest level of dedication than mere words or even actions: it says, "if I don't do what I say I will do, everyone can and should judge me for it, and the law should punish me for it."

 

[Revived]

The Bible doesn't give specific details regarding a marriage ceremony yet it does mention weddings in several places (ie. John 2). Scripture is clear however about marriage being a holy and divinely established covenant. It is equally clear about our obligation to honor and obey the laws of our earthly governments, which are also divinely established authorities.

There are three commonly held beliefs about what constitutes a marriage in the eyes of God:

1. The couple is married in the eyes of God when the physical union is consummated through sexual intercourse.
2. The couple is married in the eyes of God when the couple is legally married.
3. The couple is married in the eyes of God after they have participated in a formal religious wedding ceremony.

 

[Im_A]

The marriage book thread kinda sparked this thought. What about marriage is better than just having a life-long partner? I guess what I'm asking is what makes marriage the ultimate goal rather than just being in a good relationship? How does a ring and papers make it more important/special? If that makes any sense.

For some:
Harder to breakup.
If a priest or preacherman blesses the marriage than it becomes 'ok' to have sex through 'sanctification'.
Maybe because it may mean something socially to call someone their spouse instead of just someone they are in a relationship with.
You can get benefits from the government.
If you have kids, you can get more benefits too.

I've wandered the same thing myself. Simply because what actually makes a marriage a marriage happens BEFORE the ceremony(be it secular or religious), before the license obtaining etc.

 

[leothelioness]

Great answers so far.

 

[Schneiderman]

There is a pretty good article about this out there somewhere, "Marriage versus Living Together" by Jo Mcgowan. Can't find it but here is an excerpt from an essay about it:

According to McGowan, though marriage imposes strict demands on couples, it simultaneously provides an extra level of strength in the relationship to allow a couple to make it through tough times. Where love fails, marriage provides an opportunity to succeed. When marriage is taken seriously and maintained for its own sake, it perpetuates its own permanence, as opposed to simply living together which is uncertain and impermanent.
Another important point is that marriage, in its ideal form, is what McGowan calls a “community building act”. The ceremony, celebration and public recognition is an important part of marriage that makes it part of a community and larger than the couple itself. The condition of simply living together is merely about the couple, removed from the community, without any support or structure from society.

To put it very simply, Marriage is a more solid/stable/binding basis for a relationship than simply "living together" and it is also a community institution that offers more strength to the relationship.

 

[broken_one]

Marriage is the only oath as Christians that we're allowed to take. It's also a legal contract that allows for physical and monetary bonuses and losses that are different from merely one person living with another. It's also a lot harder to get out of and causes a lot more pain, which is good if you have problems with the opposite sex leaving all the time.

Don't know if that helps.

 

[He.Loves.You]

Marriage also provides some protection in case your spouse behaves badly, so you don't find yourself at age 50 without any money or assets because your SO wanted a committed relationship with the supermarket girl / pool boy.

Kind of like baptism or confirmation in some respects. Official covenanting, and it should be hard enough to break so that when conflict comes people don't run for the hills when they should stay and put in the work.

 

[b4jesus]

the first thing that came to mind is sex.
the Bible doesnt state that if you are in a committed relationship you can be sexually intimate. it's quite clear in that it states that is something to be enjoyed within a marriage.
and to me...that's a HUGE bonus.

i could do without the ring really. that isnt important to me. what is important to me is having something that is set as a covenant between the man i love, myself and God. something that is promised with more that just words.

I have never been married, but have been engaged. In this engagement we lived together doing things only biblical for married couples to do, with that being said please allow me to put this out there

Mt 6:24 “No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money."

The point I am trying to make is if I think I can serve sin and God I am clearly mistaken.

As a couple in a relationship/engagement for marriage but living together un-married there was a security that I could not offer without the marriage. The relationship could not be sanctified without that little ring and paper.

Without that security the ammount of worry about the future seemed like it was doubled. Also how can one bear good witness to God by doing the exact opposite of what is clearly stated. but in the end that was the deciding factor in leaving the relationship because ultimately when there is sex outside of marriage I am going to follow my hormones and not my God and sin does no good for anything but to thrown on the ground and trampled on by man.

Much love,
B4JESUS

 

[GoodNewsJim]

The marriage book thread kinda sparked this thought. What about marriage is better than just having a life-long partner? I guess what I'm asking is what makes marriage the ultimate goal rather than just being in a good relationship? How does a ring and papers make it more important/special? If that makes any sense.

Marriage is God sanctioned. It has more blessings because of that.
I tried getting the girl I loved to be my life long partner because I was sort of afraid of having doubts about God when getting married in a church. I felt if I was unsure God was real, I may make thought mistakes. However, I think that thought mistake in itself is a big one.

 

[RobertMerton]

covenant.

ability to become 'one flesh' (euphemism)

plus a life long commitment

 

[DougyP]

The marriage book thread kinda sparked this thought. What about marriage is better than just having a life-long partner? I guess what I'm asking is what makes marriage the ultimate goal rather than just being in a good relationship? How does a ring and papers make it more important/special? If that makes any sense.

If you love someone, marry them. Don't be a life long partner. I can't see the romance if a man and a woman are just really good friends thier whole lives and never get married. That's boring.