Just pondering something...

[leothelioness]

If you love someone, marry them. Don't be a life long partner. I can't see the romance if a man and a woman are just really good friends thier whole lives and never get married. That's boring.

But, that's what I'm asking. How does a marriage ceremony make the commitment any more valid? And conversely, how does not being married make the commitment less valid?

 

[Trashionista]

Marriage also provides some protection in case your spouse behaves badly, so you don't find yourself at age 50 without any money or assets because your SO wanted a committed relationship with the supermarket girl / pool boy.

And if they're not willing to take that risk with you, they're not the one for you.

 

[ProAntiRevolution]

I don't think it really matters. The idea of marriage for common people is relatively new. In fact, the early Christian Church didn't have much of anything to say about marriage. They looked at it mostly as a political arrangement for nobility. Since the advent of no fault divorce I really see less of a reason for anyone to get married. Especially if you make good money, it's really just an avenue for someone to get to keep things they didn't earn by virtue of a legal contract that would never hold up outside of family law.

In some ways I think working without legal marriage demonstrates more of a commitment to the relationship as it takes away financial incentives to marry and divorce.

 

[LoneSheep]

According to the Bible, woman was created because God said it was not good for man to be alone. So it was man and woman were to be together to support and compliment each other here on this planet (this was God's idea).

Marriage (to me) is the commitment between a man and a woman to become as one flesh for the rest of their lives. You really don't need a ceremony or rings or anything like that. A real marriage is an oath to God that you will stay loyal to your spouse as long as they live, just as Adam and Eve were bound together. Rings and paperwork are just the secular signs of a spiritual bond.

So why celebrate a marriage? I believe it is to celebrate the completion of the plan of God for a man and a woman to be one. A new union is born and children may result, which is another thing God himself gave mankind.

 

[DougyP]

But, that's what I'm asking. How does a marriage ceremony make the commitment any more valid? And conversely, how does not being married make the commitment less valid?

On the surface a life long relationships and marriage seem to be the same thing. They both are full of love, commitment, satisfaction, and the oath that two people would take. But marriage has something a life long commitment will never have, the thumbs up from God.

If God wasn't important for somebody, than it's easy see how a life long relationship would fine. Because other than God, there is no difference.

 

[Balugon]

Yeah, but can't you just make that covenant to eachother and God without all the extras? Would it still be just as valid?

Yes, you can. Not all places are necessarily going to have papers to represent a marriage. The courts don't define a marriage according to God, they define a marriage according to law. If you both basically say to each other "This is forever. We're married. And we aren't going back." and you both meant it, then it's no different than a normal marriage. A state-sanctioned marriage merely gets you tax benefits and stuff. And of course other people who are religious will condemn you less even though a non-paper marriage is still legit.

And honestly, we can't really say papers do much to hold people together in a marriage, as the divorce rate speaks of itself. soooo....

 

[Keri]

But, that's what I'm asking. How does a marriage ceremony make the commitment any more valid? And conversely, how does not being married make the commitment less valid?

I think the difference is that you can either tell someone you love them and are committed to them, or you can SHOW them by signing a paper, exchanging rings and preforming a ceremony in front of others.

Once you've been married, you'll understand.

 

[BranwenUerchLlyr]

My thoughts on marriage don't involve religious traditions or sexual sin issues because I don't believe in God, so I won't speak to that side of things. I'll stick to the more practical aspects of it.

There isn't any level of commitment to be reached or promise kept that married couples are capable of that unmarried couples are not. I'd imagine marriage can afford you a sense of protection since it is a legally binding institution & involves many witnesses, but does a relationship really need that to thrive? It is still an easy enough promise to break.

I'd say actions speak louder than promises. It's pretty easy to break a promise, but actually staying together takes work. You don't need to be married for that.

 

[BranwenUerchLlyr]

I think the difference is that you can either tell someone you love them and are committed to them, or you can SHOW them by signing a paper, exchanging rings and preforming a ceremony in front of others.

Once you've been married, you'll understand.

Those signs of commitment shouldn't be confused with the commitment itself. For instance, those I Do's can be revoked through divorce and affairs. The commitment itself is sticking with the person while remaining supportive and faithful. You don't need rings and papers for that.