Just needed to say some things some where. So here is where I ended up this morning.

[Shiloh1-49-10]

One more little encouragement. I read this a few moments ago and thought of you and your situation. Here it is: When Dr, Moon of Brighton, England, was stricken with blindness, he said, "Lord, I accept this talent of blindness from Thee. Help me use it for Thy glory that at Thy coming Thou mayest receive Thine own with usury". Then God enabled him to invent the Moon Alphabet for the blind, by which thousands of blind people were enabled to read the Word of God, and many of them were gloriously saved. (Selected).
His name was Robert Charles Moon (1818-1894) and he improved upon the Louis Braille (1809-1852) system by producing what was known as the Moon Type (raised letters instead of dots...easier and faster to read). He and his daughter went on to transcribe the whole Bible using this Type. He finished his career in Penn. I'm sure you've heard of him.
What makes him different to the scores of others who likely went blind before and after him? One, he was a true believer. But more than that, he accepted this "curse" (which most would feel it was) and turned it into a "cruse" (note:different word, same letters) because he received it as a "talent" given Him of the Lord, for his personal blessing, for the blessing of others, and for the glory of the Lord. We have to ask ourselves, What would have been Dr. Moon's story if he had bewailed his misfortune instead? Would or Could the Lord have used him as he did if he were swallowed up with unbelief, fear, discouragement, or worst, blame? I think we all know the answer to that?
And I have to ask myself, How would I fare if such a thing happened to me? I fear I would fail; but this has never happened to me. But has it not? Has not the Lord time and again put me in situations, some big, some small, where my faith is tested? And what has been my response: have I received it as from His hand? There's the true test. Like another has said, "If He leads you to it, he will lead you through it"; but I first must believe, and accept, that He has led me to it. Be blessed in his peace.

 

[revrobor]

Hello lockman:
I was looking for a post that said where you lived. When I saw you lived in the U.S. I wondered you had not sought assistance from your state, county or the federal government. There are a number of programs available in just about every state and county in this country including medical, financial and food. Exactly why God is allowing you to experience this I don't know but perhaps He would allow you to find the help you need through one of these programs.

 

[DCJazz]

I wanted to say that your first post caused me to weep and pray for you. I don't know that level of devastation yet, but I feel for you. I don't want you to lose faith on top of everything else, either. I've turned away before from God (which makes me wonder if I was ever saved before this past November), and I can say first hand that it's the worst possible choice to make. I regret every day what I did during those parts of my life.

Here's the thing, though: You may not have done anything wrong. Jesus never said it would be easy to follow him. He never said you were guaranteed a life of ease, away from pain and suffering. But even if all other hope dies, you still have one hope, and that is Jesus Christ, yes?

I often find Hebrews 13:5 to comfort me in times of depression or utter despair.

"I will never leave you nor forsake you." Though that's only part of the verse, of course...

I can't promise things will get better. All I can suggest is that even in your darkest hours, rely on Christ for all your needs. Perhaps this is a test for your family, I don't know. I don't claim to know all the answers, nor do I understand why this has happened. But when all else fails, Christ will remain.