Just need support

[SonShinesOnMe]

My husband and I have been married for 9 years. During this 9 years there were many, many, many bouts of unemployment. I worked and put myself thourgh school during this time and now I have a good job. He then decided to look for women online, then felt the need to meet one. I of course found out about it, now he is very sorry etc!

I am very tired of this immaturity and want a divorce. We are still in the same house at this time. We have a 8 year old daughter who doesn't know there is a problem, we don't fight or argue in front of her. He is staying in the other room and going to counseling with our pastor, but it has only been 1 week since I found out (oh yeah he decided to meet the women on my birthday which was also the day my oldest child left for boot camp..birthday wasn't to good)

Okay guess I just needed to share this with someone and get any advice in dealing with my daughter.

 

[lvs2sng]

My husband and I have been married for 9 years. During this 9 years there were many, many, many bouts of unemployment. I worked and put myself thourgh school during this time and now I have a good job. He then decided to look for women online, then felt the need to meet one. I of course found out about it, now he is very sorry etc!

I am very tired of this immaturity and want a divorce. We are still in the same house at this time. We have a 8 year old daughter who doesn't know there is a problem, we don't fight or argue in front of her. He is staying in the other room and going to counseling with our pastor, but it has only been 1 week since I found out (oh yeah he decided to meet the women on my birthday which was also the day my oldest child left for boot camp..birthday wasn't to good)

Okay guess I just needed to share this with someone and get any advice in dealing with my daughter.

I'm so sorry. It does sound like you had a terrible birthday. I don't know what to tell you. I will be praying for you. Keep God close and He will help you to find the answers.
God Bless

 

[Sugarjay]

My husband and I have been married for 9 years. During this 9 years there were many, many, many bouts of unemployment. I worked and put myself thourgh school during this time and now I have a good job. He then decided to look for women online, then felt the need to meet one. I of course found out about it, now he is very sorry etc!

I am very tired of this immaturity and want a divorce. We are still in the same house at this time. We have a 8 year old daughter who doesn't know there is a problem, we don't fight or argue in front of her. He is staying in the other room and going to counseling with our pastor, but it has only been 1 week since I found out (oh yeah he decided to meet the women on my birthday which was also the day my oldest child left for boot camp..birthday wasn't to good)

Okay guess I just needed to share this with someone and get any advice in dealing with my daughter.

Don't give up on the marriage. I can imagine you are very upset and feel betrayed. If he is able to change and be the man you need him to be will it not be worth it. Pray to God for the strength to forgive. There has to be a reason why he did this. Do you know what it is. Is he insecure, if so why. You both need to work at it to make it work. Not trying to sound harsh but there is likely something you were not giving him that he needs and that is why he met this other woman. Maybe he has never told you what he needs, have you told him what you need. Marriage is worth saving. It sounds like he is willing to work on his issues. Please don't give up, things could be so much better between the two of you is you stay commited.

 

[SonShinesOnMe]

Don't give up on the marriage. I can imagine you are very upset and feel betrayed. If he is able to change and be the man you need him to be will it not be worth it. Pray to God for the strength to forgive. There has to be a reason why he did this. Do you know what it is. Is he insecure, if so why. You both need to work at it to make it work. Not trying to sound harsh but there is likely something you were not giving him that he needs and that is why he met this other woman. Maybe he has never told you what he needs, have you told him what you need. Marriage is worth saving. It sounds like he is willing to work on his issues. Please don't give up, things could be so much better between the two of you is you stay commited.

this is not something I just decided. I mean I have supported him for a year a half. Maybe there is something he is not giving me and he is not able to.

 

[SonShinesOnMe]

I'm so sorry. It does sound like you had a terrible birthday. I don't know what to tell you. I will be praying for you. Keep God close and He will help you to find the answers.
God Bless

Thank you for your prayer.

 

[Deborah6763]

remember that this is NOT your fault. None of us are perfect, but he made bad choices.

I pray that both of you will get the help and wise counsel that you need. Be sure you are hearing from the Lord.

Blessings to you

 

[Svt4Him]

My only advice is don't make decisions when emotions are running high. It's like shopping when you're hungry, you may think you know what you need, but it usually costs you more.

 

[madison1101]

Did he sleep with this woman, or just meet her? Neither is right, but if he slept with her, then all bets are off, and you have Biblical grounds for divorce.

My suggestion would be to kick the bum out altogether. But then, I think of God's grace which was given to us freely. Are you at all in marital therapy? What about therapy for yourself?

Study God's grace which was bestowed unto you freely, and see if you can begin to understand it. Then, see if you can give some of that grace to your husband.

Hugs,
Trish