Just Mindlessly Typing

[F1ReFly]

I was married for 11 years. have two kids I see once a week...
My apartment is always quit...
I was A strong man but now I'm a mess...
I got married when I just turned 19 never
been alone till now this SUCKS...
I am 200 miles from where I grew up...
I sometimes go to the store just to see people pathetic huh?...
some times I wish I would get into a fiery car crash and it would all be over...
well typing doesn't seem to be helping so goto go to the store again.

 

[Linux98]

I sometimes go to the store just to see people pathetic huh?...

Not at all.

 

[Linux98]

By the way, I have a non-Christian friend who is going through something similar. His began two years ago. Much of what you are saying is the same as what he went through. He is doing pretty well now if that gives you any hope.

Hang in there buddy.

 

[F1ReFly]

Thanks, Linux

 

[ArmouredSaint]

Yeah,you make sense to me here.I understand this typing. Stay with us.

 

[Jim47]

I was married for 11 years. have two kids I see once a week...
My apartment is always quit...
I was A strong man but now I'm a mess...
I got married when I just turned 19 never
been alone till now this SUCKS...
I am 200 miles from where I grew up...
I sometimes go to the store just to see people pathetic huh?...
some times I wish I would get into a fiery car crash and it would all be over...
well typing doesn't seem to be helping so goto go to the store again.

Looking for friendship certainly can't hurt anything, and is a good place to start to making your life into something of value and meaning again.

I know a man 34 years old who has been married twice. He chose his wives with the kind of fervor and direction one can only get from God, but each time they flopped through no fault of his own.

He is healing nicely because he is seeking how he may serve God and not dwelling on his rotten luck.

A saying I only partly remember "if life gives you raspberries, make jam" has some importance. Try what you can to make a new life one step at a time, look to God for help and strength and be patient.

Put your faith and trust in God, He still loves you even though you may feel unloved.

 

[bethdinsmore]

"fiery car crash"? If you are having suicidal thoughts, please see a mental health professional immediately - especially a Christian. I realize you may not be thinking that way, but I don't want to take the chance and ignore it.

I can't imagine how hard your situation must be. I understand loneliness, however. Until the Lord remade me, I had no social skills and people avoided me. I am so sorry you are going through this.

People won't just be drawn to us by accident, as you well know. How about praying for some good friends? Whether or not you're going to church, getting into a home group there would help a lot - that's where the socialization happens. And what about asking your pastor if he knows someone who would like to teach a weekly Bible study in your home. For physical reasons, I am alone at home at least 45 hours a week, and it does my heart good when people show up for Bible study. They have become good friends. And I use my daily alone time to minister in here - you could too. There's always an encouraging word or verse that's worthwhile sharing.

One of the reasons we are here is to carry each other's burdens. Please don't be alone any longer. It doesn't have to be that way - it's a choice.

Bottom line with my loneliness was this: I learned that God was all I had to have in order to live a contented life. It took a lot of pain to realize that, including in my marriage - but I am so much richer now. God bless you, friend. Please reach out. Like Jim said, one step at a time.

Aloha in Jesus

 

[F1ReFly]

The car crash may have been over stated a bit. I just can not figure out how to put into words how I feel. The way we split was horrible for me. Ill tell you the story something I have not been able to do out loud at all. when I turned 18 I moved from a very small Kentucky town to the city with my sister to find work.... well I found more what I thought was the girl of my dreams. well one month shy of eleven years of marriage went by in what seemed a flash. when I came home from work and my wife said we needed to talk she said that she had been sleeping with another man and she loved him and not me. This came as a complete shock to me. To understand fully you would have to know me and how much I loved my wife. I thought she was in love with me I always treated her like a princess kisses on the forehead, opened doors,candy ect.... through out the marriage. The thing is I meant what I said eleven years ago and had know Idea she did not. While married I would never even speak to another woman. I see married men flirt with married women at my work all the time and always felt it inappropriate. So I was left with absolutely no one to talk to. I have Friends but they are all guys. I just can not let another man see me in pain maybe just the way I was brought up "Men don't cry and if they do they are weak" I have to tell you I have cried every night for four months but only in private. Each day is a roller coaster. I try my best to hide the pain and keep a smile on my face but it is all show because I feel like I'm dieing inside. I really don't think I'm suicidal but if an act of god takes me from this place. I might just take my last breath in peace.


F1ReFly

 

[Shane Roach]

Heya brother.

I'm glad you're here. Glad to see you trying to fight your way through. I can imagine to some extent how you feel because I am the same type of person as far as how I relate to women, but to have been with her 11 years. That's a long time to get yourself all tangled together with another person.

She was not who you thought she was, though. You lost someone, but that person is not the person you thought. Try to keep that in mind. All that time, it was an idea of a person that she just is not, so now you are free to look for the one who really is that person, or learn to be more complete in yourself.

I'm sure I have no idea what is going through your head, whether you feel like it is your fault or wish there was something you could do. Probably just overwhelmed.

Hrm. I don't know what to say. If you want to send one of those private message things, let me know. Or just keep talking it out here. I just wish good things for you.

 

[F1ReFly]

Heya brother.

She was not who you thought she was, though. You lost someone, but that person is not the person you thought. Try to keep that in mind. All that time, it was an idea of a person that she just is not, so now you are free to look for the one who really is that person, or learn to be more complete in yourself.

You know for some reason what you said makes more sense to me than anything so far. Ill try to remember what you wrote when I start feeling down. Thank you that really helped allot.


F1ReFly

 

[bethdinsmore]

Thanks, Firefly, for opening up like that - a major hurdle. What Shane said was so true, glad it helped.

 

[Shane Roach]

You know for some reason what you said makes more sense to me than anything so far. Ill try to remember what you wrote when I start feeling down. Thank you that really helped allot.


F1ReFly

It helps me to think I might have helped you. Thanks for letting me know.