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We are now past Shavuot and are starting to look forward to the High Holy Days. One of the traditions of Yom haTeruah - (aka Rosh HaShana) performed following afternoon services is "Tashlich" or the Sending Away. One casts stones or bread into a body of flowing water symbolizing the casting away of sins.
For those who use the bread tradition, the following list has been compiled to properly symbolize the sins being repented of.
for ordinary sins white bread
for exotic sins French bread
for particularly dark sins pumpernickel
for complex sins multi grain
for twisted sins pretzels
for tasteless sins rice cakes
for sins of indecision waffles
for sins committed in haste matzah
for sins committed in less than 18 minutes shmurah matzah
for sins of chutzpah fresh bread
for substance abuse poppy seed
for committing arson toast
for committing auto theft caraway
for being ill tempered sourdough
for silliness nut bread
for not giving full value shortbread
for jingoism Yankee Doodles
for excessive use of irony rye bread
for telling bad jokes corn bread
for hardening our hearts jelly doughnuts
for being money hungry enriched bread of raw dough
for war mongering Kaiser rolls
for immodest dressing tarts
for causing injury or damage to others tortes
for promiscuity hot buns
for racism crackers
for sophisticated racism Ritz crackers
for davening off tune flat bread
for being holier than thou bagels
for unfairly unbraiding another challah
for indecent photograph cheesecake
for trashing the environment dumplings
for sins of laziness any very long loaf
for sins of pride puff pastry
for lying baked goods with Nutra Sweet and Olestra
for wearing tasteless hats Tam Tams
for sins of the righteous angel food cake
for selling your soul devils food cake
for lust in your heart Wonder Bread
for inhaling stoned wheat
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