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Just for Fellowship Thread
- Thread starter ~Wisdom Seeker~
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Hey. I'd like to post a Jesus joke:
Ok, so there's a robber um... robbing a house and he suddenly heres a voice saying "Jesus is waatching youu!" He turns around and sees... nothing. And so he goes back about his "Bussiness". Again, he hears the voice and turns around in mid sentence and sees a parot behind. "What's your name?" He asks the parot. "God." says the parot.
"What kind of family would name a parot god?" asks the robber.
The parot says "The same kinda family that would name a pitbull Jesus!"/
I hope everyone enjoys that and it wasn't offending.
Ok, so there's a robber um... robbing a house and he suddenly heres a voice saying "Jesus is waatching youu!" He turns around and sees... nothing. And so he goes back about his "Bussiness". Again, he hears the voice and turns around in mid sentence and sees a parot behind. "What's your name?" He asks the parot. "God." says the parot.
"What kind of family would name a parot god?" asks the robber.
The parot says "The same kinda family that would name a pitbull Jesus!"/
I hope everyone enjoys that and it wasn't offending.
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Believer-in-Christ
Life is Christ
I can feel the presence of God all around me right now. He's placed me on the path he has set for moe and now he is guiding me on that path.
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- Mar 23, 2004
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judysosleepy
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That's very funny...you should post another one!brinny said:ROFL!!!! That's hilarious
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CynthiaSpeaks
Big Bad Bart... He's my dream!
- Dec 2, 2004
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Love the Pitbull joke!
Okay, I have one.
A pastor takes his new convert golfing. Said convert is at the first hole, putts his ball and just barely misses the cup. He starts screaming, "!*#$*%^!, I missed I missed!"
The pastor is humiliated because he has asked two other pastors to join him and clearly the new convert is not walking closely with the Lord. But he bites his tongue and on they go on to the next hole.
The new convert is playing quite well, until... Yep, he missed the cup. Again he loses his temper and screams, "I missed, I missed!" At that point the red in the face pastor takes him aside and gives him a good talking to, "I understand your frustration my good man, but you siimply MUST stop screaming every time you miss the cup. Let me share with you something I learned. You see, up in Heaven an angel is watching. Every time you scream like that you offend the angel because you are offensive to God. Now I have prayed that the next time the you scream, the angel will strike you down with a bolt of lightning." The convert is very scared and promises to mind his tongue.
They finish 17 of the 18 holes without another incident and the pastor is quite pleased with himself. At the 18th hole the new convert realizes he is winning! He's happy, but quite stressed as it the scores are only a stroke apart. He lands on the green within easy shot of the cup and is feeling quite smug. He goes up to sink the hole, putts the ball, and...
Misses! He is furious and loses it despite his pastors warnings. He screams, he throws his club, he makes a complete spectacle of himself.
As predicted, the angel sent down a bolt of lightning.
But he hits the pastor and simply fries him into the ground. All of a sudden you hear this voice scream from Heaven...
I missed! I missed!
Okay, I have one.
A pastor takes his new convert golfing. Said convert is at the first hole, putts his ball and just barely misses the cup. He starts screaming, "!*#$*%^!, I missed I missed!"
The pastor is humiliated because he has asked two other pastors to join him and clearly the new convert is not walking closely with the Lord. But he bites his tongue and on they go on to the next hole.
The new convert is playing quite well, until... Yep, he missed the cup. Again he loses his temper and screams, "I missed, I missed!" At that point the red in the face pastor takes him aside and gives him a good talking to, "I understand your frustration my good man, but you siimply MUST stop screaming every time you miss the cup. Let me share with you something I learned. You see, up in Heaven an angel is watching. Every time you scream like that you offend the angel because you are offensive to God. Now I have prayed that the next time the you scream, the angel will strike you down with a bolt of lightning." The convert is very scared and promises to mind his tongue.
They finish 17 of the 18 holes without another incident and the pastor is quite pleased with himself. At the 18th hole the new convert realizes he is winning! He's happy, but quite stressed as it the scores are only a stroke apart. He lands on the green within easy shot of the cup and is feeling quite smug. He goes up to sink the hole, putts the ball, and...
Misses! He is furious and loses it despite his pastors warnings. He screams, he throws his club, he makes a complete spectacle of himself.
As predicted, the angel sent down a bolt of lightning.
But he hits the pastor and simply fries him into the ground. All of a sudden you hear this voice scream from Heaven...
I missed! I missed!
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ouse
Regular Member
wow, i diddnt expect that one, i guess it would be hard to aim from heaven!
alright, im not sure if this was already said but ill do it anyway,
one sunday morning a pastor was preaching on the evils of alcahol to his congregation, he was doing pretty well untill the end of the sermon....
the pastor got off on a tangent and said, " you know what, if i had any wine... i would THROW IT IN THE RIVER! and if i had any BEER! id THROW IT IN THE RIVER. nad if i had any whiskey! ID THROW THAT IN THE RIVER TOO!!!!"
after this, the pastor being a bit embarrassed at his outburst, he stepped down and motioned to the musical director to fill the rest of the time with a closing song.
the musical director looked a bit embarrased himself and after a second of two said, "ummm, and now, if you would all stand for our closing hymn...... Gather at the River."
(sorry i kinda forgot how it went.... i only heard it once)
alright, im not sure if this was already said but ill do it anyway,
one sunday morning a pastor was preaching on the evils of alcahol to his congregation, he was doing pretty well untill the end of the sermon....
the pastor got off on a tangent and said, " you know what, if i had any wine... i would THROW IT IN THE RIVER! and if i had any BEER! id THROW IT IN THE RIVER. nad if i had any whiskey! ID THROW THAT IN THE RIVER TOO!!!!"
after this, the pastor being a bit embarrassed at his outburst, he stepped down and motioned to the musical director to fill the rest of the time with a closing song.
the musical director looked a bit embarrased himself and after a second of two said, "ummm, and now, if you would all stand for our closing hymn...... Gather at the River."
(sorry i kinda forgot how it went.... i only heard it once)
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Hi there,
I'm magic and also a new to this site. Love to make friends from all over the world and have fun. I'm 28, married have one 14 months old adorable doughter. I'm not working so I have time to write accept when I'm busy with my little one.
Hope to talk/write to you soon!
God bless you all!
I'm magic and also a new to this site. Love to make friends from all over the world and have fun. I'm 28, married have one 14 months old adorable doughter. I'm not working so I have time to write accept when I'm busy with my little one.
Hope to talk/write to you soon!
God bless you all!
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joey4christ
Active Member
hi! 
i'm also new to this forum (found it the other day looking for jason upton lyrics on google....), saw this thread and thought i'd post, cause it just, looks cool like that i dunno 
.
aannnyyywaayyyyy, to be completly random.. BUTTERMILK-NESS-ER-ER-IST! MUAH!
haha, so i'm out for now, merry Christmas all! God bless!
i'm also new to this forum (found it the other day looking for jason upton lyrics on google....), saw this thread and thought i'd post, cause it just, looks cool like that i dunno .aannnyyywaayyyyy, to be completly random.. BUTTERMILK-NESS-ER-ER-IST! MUAH!
haha, so i'm out for now, merry Christmas all! God bless!
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