FaithPrevails
Well-Known Member
- May 7, 2006
- 12,589
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If moving back in was a mistake, then what is stopping you from moving out again? Separation can sometimes be what is needed for both parties to be able to step back and see the "big picture" - which can be hard to do when you're on the front lines and fighting to hold on.
It sounds like you need some really firm boundaries with your husband. You need to sit down with a counselor or your pastor again and define what kinds of changes you and your husband both need to make to get the relationship to a healthy point. Set timelines for making the changes and then evaluate at different points along the timeline the progress that is (or isn't?) being made. At the end of the timeline (6 months - 1 year??) then evaluate if the appropriate changes have been made or if the marriage is still unhealthy and go from there.
Above all else - pray for God's will in your life. It is easy for faceless people - like myself - on the internet to give you advice or tell you what we think of a situation based on what you share. But, only you know what you are truly up against IRL. Pray for God's direction and ask Him to show you what you need to do and ask Him to open the doors that need to be opened and put stumbling blocks in place where doors need to be closed.
And call your best friend. Reach out to her if she is a good support person for you. Shutting you out from her is a classic abuser tactic. Big. red. flag.
It sounds like you need some really firm boundaries with your husband. You need to sit down with a counselor or your pastor again and define what kinds of changes you and your husband both need to make to get the relationship to a healthy point. Set timelines for making the changes and then evaluate at different points along the timeline the progress that is (or isn't?) being made. At the end of the timeline (6 months - 1 year??) then evaluate if the appropriate changes have been made or if the marriage is still unhealthy and go from there.
Above all else - pray for God's will in your life. It is easy for faceless people - like myself - on the internet to give you advice or tell you what we think of a situation based on what you share. But, only you know what you are truly up against IRL. Pray for God's direction and ask Him to show you what you need to do and ask Him to open the doors that need to be opened and put stumbling blocks in place where doors need to be closed.
And call your best friend. Reach out to her if she is a good support person for you. Shutting you out from her is a classic abuser tactic. Big. red. flag.
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i see other couples having fun, photos on facebook etc ( i know they dnt have perfection, i dont expect this) but it sadens me & makes me wonder why i dont have that?
