Just a quick rant

[christiankate]

Hi all,
Just had a conversation with my friend (possibility for bf) and he said I was "innocent and not like alot of girls" and I didn't know how to take that, so I was talking with my mother and aunt and they said that was just because I was "inexperienced", and maybe if I was more "experienced" he would be more interested. (He is a non-christian btw, but thats aside from the point). I am dumbfounded by this whole situation. Is being innocent or inexperienced, such a bad thing. I used to think that was a good thing, but now I don't know. Now I am beginning to question all of my values and just having a downer of a day. Sorry for all the talk guys, but I am upset, and maybe I'm over reacting. Am I over reacting? Maybe in life "more experience" is better. I don't know, I could just use advice or encouagement or something. Thanks for listening to my quick rant.

 

[winglovesall]

Hey ChristianKate!

I think it's his opinion -- sometimes, you should take that as his opinion.
I mean -- sometimes teenagers don't think what they say and they end up saying it for no purpose at all. (I don't know what's his age but sometimes, teenagers make comments like that)

There's nothing, really, called "inexperienced" or "experienced" -- I think, if you want to be more experienced -- talk to Christian males about it and make friends -- that would probably make you a more experienced communicator!

And my final point is that dating a Non-Christian male -- I think, personally, not good -- he might want to get you out of being a believer of God.

Thanks

 

[AveMaria]

It's possible that by saying you were innocent, he didn't mean in terms of intimate or dating experience, but in terms of being not worldly - like being sweet, wanting to think the best of people, being sheltered.

 

[Bloomin' Pyro]

Hi all,
Just had a conversation with my friend (possibility for bf) and he said I was "innocent and not like alot of girls" and I didn't know how to take that, so I was talking with my mother and aunt and they said that was just because I was "inexperienced", and maybe if I was more "experienced" he would be more interested.

Yeah, he might be more interested if you were more experienced. But don't you want a guy who likes you for who you are?

Is being innocent or inexperienced, such a bad thing.

In my book, a total lack of experience would be an EXCELLENT thing.

 

[crimsonxbeauty]

He's not a christian... that is where the problem lies. Don't compromise your values because someone who doesn't believe in Christ thinks you're "too innocent" or "inexperienced" of course you're going to come off that way! You belong to Christ! Your sins have been washed away! He belogs to the world, his haven't been washed away!

The only guy I have ever dated was a non christian.... He tried to push me to do things i didn't (well not really, Im super stubborn it wasn't much of a problem) but he also didn't agree with my faith and it made it extremely hard to comunicate. He and I would seriously just kinda sit around joking about random stuff (I appologize for using the C word... I got in trouble haha) that meant nothing... or sit there in silence. It was bad... just as a word of warning. I would suggest holding out for a Godly man. It will be good for you I promise.

 

[winglovesall]

I agree.

Keep close to your family -- Christians !

 

[london boy]

I wouldn't recommended dating a non-Christian, simply because your aims, values and priorities are different. Being innocent and inexperienced is the first step to becoming experienced

 

[beetlequeendiva]

it's not a bad thing to be inexperienced or innocent in the world of dating - some guys would be really happy to date someone like that!!!

 

[silentpoet]

it's not a bad thing to be inexperienced or innocent in the world of dating - some guys would be really happy to date someone like that!!!

The problem is not alot of them would want that for the right reasons. Just being honest about men/boys.

 

[london boy]

The problem is not alot of them would want that for the right reasons. Just being honest about men/boys.

You do have a point there

 

[Pyrogenesis]

Are you kidding? Innocent is great! In my eyes innocence and purity are hand in hand. Innocence is far more attractive (In a Godly fashion) than experence. But I'm not sure how a non-Christian guy would look at it.

 

[covenantwmn]

When you meet the guy God has for you, you will only feel peace in your heart, not question everything. Hang tough with God, He knows who He has for you and He's never late. We mess things up by settling for less than His perfect will. If you love Jesus and are living for Him, you're gorgeous and praise God, inexperienced!!

 

[JPPT1974]

it's not a bad thing to be inexperienced or innocent in the world of dating - some guys would be really happy to date someone like that!!!

Problem is my friend, not most guys are that type of guys at all. Sad but true!

 

[JiminyCricket]

Hi all,
Just had a conversation with my friend (possibility for bf) and he said I was "innocent and not like alot of girls" and I didn't know how to take that, so I was talking with my mother and aunt and they said that was just because I was "inexperienced", and maybe if I was more "experienced" he would be more interested. (He is a non-christian btw, but thats aside from the point). I am dumbfounded by this whole situation. Is being innocent or inexperienced, such a bad thing. I used to think that was a good thing, but now I don't know. Now I am beginning to question all of my values and just having a downer of a day. Sorry for all the talk guys, but I am upset, and maybe I'm over reacting. Am I over reacting? Maybe in life "more experience" is better. I don't know, I could just use advice or encouagement or something. Thanks for listening to my quick rant.

aaakk. So what. You are probably a very sweet girl and come across very innocent and maybe sheltered because you probably trust people more than others do. Also if you're less willing to put out, you may come across more innocent. Most guys think innocense is a highly desirable quality for a girl.

Look, I've never met you so I'm just speculating. But listen, don't you dare question your Christian values or doubt yourself. If you compromise your values and this guy doesn't work out, you will feel guilty and regret it. If you stand strong and this guy doesn't work out, you'll feel good about yourself by saying, "hey, at least I didn't compromise myself for that jerk."

In the mean time...this is just a comment. A year from now you'll forget it was ever said. If its not a big deal then, its not a big deal now. Don't sweat the small stuff girl. And be proud of who you are, you'll take more pride in that down the road.

 

[winglovesall]

Acceptance is the main message -- God made us differently and so, if you are an in-experienced dater, who cares, I still like you -- Differences won't bother me too much because I already accept it.

 

[RED that's ME]

There is nothing wrong with being friends with non-christians as long as it doesn't drag you down into sin.
BUT why would you want to date/marry a non-Christian when the Bible commands us not to?

There is NOTHING wrong with being innocent & having values.
Not to knock anyone here who already has but.....

A virgin (unexperience person) can always be like the others (experienced)...BUT a non-virgin can't ever go back to being a "true virgin."
They can make a decision to remain pure until they are married and hopefully they will so that God will bless them for their faithfulness to obey him.

The world will make fun of you for being a virgin, pure but they are not the ones that we promised to obey and follow in our lives.
As Christians our #1 person we please is God. Not only are we suppose to be physically pure but emotionally, spiritually, mentally. I would encourage anyone who isn't to pray and ask God for forgivness and then decide from this point on I will be different.

- Run away from sexual sin! No other sin so clealy affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18
- Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.
1 Corinthians 7:2
- For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
- God wants you to live a pure life. Keep yourselves from sexual promiscuity. Learn to appreciate and give dignity to your body, not abusing it, as is so common among those who know nothing of God. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. Heb 13:4

 

[Silver Speak]

I don't know you but judging by the things you said about him, doesn't sound like a guy you should go for. If he's not a christian, it's no surprise he doesn't value innocence like you do. Being 'experienced' is a wordly value and, as a christian, you shouldn't worry about meeting wordly standards.

I know it's hard; I'm with you in this one. I'm falling for a guy who's absolutely amazing but I don't see how it'd work out since he doesn't stand where I stand. I don't want to change myself for him (which I'd do more than likely) and I don't want to spend my energy to change him. It's just not a natural (and by un-natural I mean putting a person before God, which always seem so right in the beginning but ends up being so, well, wrong 'cause it means fooling yourself and God, who you can't fool, by the way) situation to be in.

I know it's easy to think the rules are different for you but none of us are special and can't bend the rule. You just have to face the facts and let it go -sounds harsh but that's all I can tell you.

 

[Sketcher]

Hi all,
Just had a conversation with my friend (possibility for bf) and he said I was "innocent and not like alot of girls" and I didn't know how to take that, so I was talking with my mother and aunt and they said that was just because I was "inexperienced", and maybe if I was more "experienced" he would be more interested. (He is a non-christian btw, but thats aside from the point). I am dumbfounded by this whole situation. Is being innocent or inexperienced, such a bad thing. I used to think that was a good thing, but now I don't know. Now I am beginning to question all of my values and just having a downer of a day. Sorry for all the talk guys, but I am upset, and maybe I'm over reacting. Am I over reacting? Maybe in life "more experience" is better. I don't know, I could just use advice or encouagement or something. Thanks for listening to my quick rant.

1) You've been told to not date non-Christians, I agree with this. I won't lecture you on why.

2) Innocence is fine. All it does is make for a few awkward moments when you don't know what something means. But that doesn't kill my respect for a great Christian at all. What matters is if the girl is fun to hang around, smart, and maturing.

 

[sweetlambofgod]

Non christian guys wnat girls that are experienced cuz they after one thing, christian guys wnat unexperienced and innocent girls, they dont want girls who sleep around.

 

[Sketcher]

Non christian guys wnat girls that are experienced cuz they after one thing

There are also non-christian guys who want inexperience so they can "leave their mark," so to speak.