jokes

[Truly Blessed]

A man in his 40s bought a new BMW and was out driving on the interstate at top speed when he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.

"There's no way they can catch a BMW," he thought to himself and sped up even more. Then the reality of the situation hit him, "What the heck am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word, and examined it and the car. "It's been a long day, it is the end of my shift, and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."

The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back."

"Have a nice weekend," said the officer.

The best so far

 

[tqpix]

a prince has a spell cast over him( err thinks is this appropriate then thinks again well its not rude or antichrist soooo i guess)

so he can only say 1word per year but he can save up his words so he meets a princess who is gorges
so he wants to say my darling so he waits 2 years but then he wants to say
my darling i love you so he waits another five years but then before he says that he wants to say
my darling i love you will you marry me?
so he waits four years finally the time commmmes he gets down on 1 knee and says my darling i love you will you marry me
so she parts her ruby lips and says
pardon!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't get it.

 

[Bladecarver]

One of three things.

1) She was giving him pardon, or releasing him from a spell.
2) She was asking him a question.
3) She was under a spell herself and could only say one word.

I really have no clue.

 

[guitar_gurl07]

ooo i have another one but its kinda corney. lol

A mushroom walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then the bartender says "I can't serve you." Then the mushroom says "Why not, I'm a fun guy??"

get it...fungi(mushroom)

 

[Faith In God]

a riddle. heh heh.

okay. before the riddle starts, i'll post the scenario.

there are two people and a dog. You, me, and the dog. let's say your name is Gale, my name is Peter, and the dog's name is Foster. We are walking the dog. I, Peter, tell the riddle as we are walking the dog.

Hey, gail, if foster is you, and you are me, and i am i, who are you?



think about it....


answer next post...

 

[Faith In God]

answer is not 'me'

the answer is Foster. Foster is you, and you are me. gail has not been assigned a name.

 

[Faith In God]

888888s.

what does this say?

the story of a boy named eight.

'Eight ate eight hundred and eighty eight eights.'

 

[Faith In God]

Knock knock

who's there?

who

...who?

yes.

...what?

no, who.

oh...no one's home.

 

[cygnusx1]

A skeleton walks into a pub...........he says to the bartender " A pint of beer and a Mop "

Hi Jesus forever, this one's for you.

 

[BeautifulWorshipper]

A skeleton walks into a pub...........he says to the bartender " A pint of beer and a Mop "

Hi Jesus forever, this one's for you.

your sweet thanxs

 

[wayfaring man]

A priest and a minister are fishing in a river along a seldom used road .

They erected a sign along the roadside near to where they were standing .

The sign read " STOP , TURN BACK , THE END IS NEAR " .

A motorist drives up , reads the sign , and sees the priest and minister ;

But before they can speak a word to him , he speeds off , saying to himself , " these religious nuts are all crazy , who do they think they are to be telling everyone how they should live " .

Then suddenly there is the sound of squealing tires and a loud splash .

And the minister turns to the priest and says, " I told you , we should have wrote : ' WARNING : BRIDGE IS OUT ' ".

 

[wayfaring man]

I don't get it.

The joke is that he waited all those years only to have her grow hard of hearing ; and would , in theory , have to wait a " spell " , to be able to repeat himself to her .

 

[BeautifulWorshipper]

still dont get it:hmm:

 

[cygnusx1]

Knock Knock!!

whos there?

Adolf

Adolf who?

A dolf ball hit me on da dose , dats why I'm speaking Like diss.

 

[Bladecarver]

That's a good one.

WM, I get it.

 

[BeautifulWorshipper]

funny (finnally)

 

[BeautifulWorshipper]

hehe hey im not a good thred starter no one replies

 

[Serp]

:o)

 

[BeautifulWorshipper]

huh?

 

[MissRowboat]

I have a joke. But it's morbid..But I also heard it from a Christian friend, so I'm assuming that it's ok.

A man and woman just got married. The wedding was beautiful and the reception was just amazing. Then came time for the couple to drive to the airport to go on their honeymoon.

But on the way there, they're in a terrible car accident. The husband is fine, but the wife is not. She is in the ER all night and into the morning hours. Finally the doctor comes out to the waiting room and the husband asks him, "How is she??" Doctor's like, "Son, it's not good. She's completely paralyzed. You're going to have to do everything for her..Feed her, bathe her..Just everything." "Man, doc, that's terrible," the husband says after a few moments of silence. Doctor goes, "Just kidding. She's dead."

That is so horrible. I feel bad about telling it.