Jokes From a Book

[Locket]

(Here are a few)

An atheist complained to a Christian, "You Christians have all the holidays: Christmas, Good Friday, Easter, Ascension, Pentecost, thanksgiving and others!"
The Chrstians retorted, "You can have April first."

 

[Locket]

Little Robert wanted a watch so badly that he wearied the whole family with his begging. His father promised him a watch when he was older, then forbad him to mention the topic again.
Next Sunday during devotions at the breakfast table the children. as was their custom, repeated Bible verses. Little Robert astonished them all by quoting, "What I say unto you, I say unto all, Watch."

 

[Locket]

A pastor recived a letter from a long-time parishoner which read, "Dear Pastor: If Jeuss Christ knew what you were doing to ourh church, he would turn over in his grave."
Reading the letter to his board, the pastor commented, "It makes me wonder what her theological position will be- come Easter."

 

[Locket]

A woodpecker in Louisiana was drilling away at a tree. Suddenly, a lightening bolt struck, splintering the tree into pieces. Miraculously unhurt, the woodpecker backed off, gazed at the mess, and then flew away. Returning with seven other woodpeckers he said, "Look fellows, there it is!"

(This may take a few moments...)

 

[equal-minded]

Try as I might, I still don't get that last one...

 

[askbros]

Is he boasting that he pecked thru it?

 

[coolryan]

i think i get the last joke... ok, so like the woodpecker died and left his body to show other woodpeckers where he died?

 

[Locket]

Is he boasting that he pecked thru it?

Yup. Like a fisherman showing his buddies the humungo fish he caught. The woodpecker thinks HE did it!

 

[Locket]

"I want you to be so still that you could hear a pin drop." A Sunday School teacher ordered, smiling sweetly. After a very very very long silence a small boy in the corner shouted, "Okay! Let 'er drop!"

 

[I_Heart_Jesus777]

lol those are all funny!

 

[gwenevere]

lol - funny jokes but it did take me a few minutes to get the woodpecker

 

[notanordinarygirl]

Lol's to all of them! I had to reread the woodpecker one, though!

 

[jehovahjireh2007]

And me

 

[trimmjoy]

hah!

 

[JolieHeart]

chuckling at those jokes... Thank you for sharing!!

 

[the_eternal_learner]

Hehe I like the pin-drop one

 

[chlarisa]

nice joke

 

[qq123456]

A pastor recived a letter from a long-time parishoner which read, "Dear Pastor: If Jeuss Christ knew what you were doing to ourh church, he would turn over in his grave."
Reading the letter to his board, the pastor commented, "It makes me wonder what her theological position will be- come Easter."