Jews Sank The Titanic!

[Victorium]

JEWS SANK THE TITANIC!

A plane leaves Heathrow Airport under the control of a Jewish captain; his co-pilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.

Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, "I don't like Chinese.."

"No rike Chinese?" asks the co-pilot, "why not?"

"You people bombed Pearl Harbor, that's why!"

"No, no", the co-pilot protests, "Chinese not bomb Pearl Harbor! That Japanese, not Chinese."

"Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese....doesn't matter, you're all alike!"

There's a few minutes of silence.

"I no rike Jews!" the co-pilot suddenly announces.

"Oh yeah, why not?" asks the captain.

"Jews sink Titanic!" says the co-pilot.

"What? You're insane! Jews didn't sink the Titanic!" exclaims the captain, " It was an iceberg!"

"Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg,....no mattah...all same..

 

[thegandyman]

Hahaha. How about this one? A retired couple decides they are going to use their life savings to see the world before they die. They argue about where they will go and what they will see. Finally, they consult their priest who says they should visit the Holy Land.

The couple agrees and sets off for Jerusalem. On the first day there, the husband dies suddenly. The wife visits an undertaker to find out how much the funeral will cost.

"Well, I can bury him here for $500 or I can fly him back to America for $10,000," the undertaker tells her.

She thinks about it for a few minutes and says, "fly him back to America."

"Are you sure," the undertaker asks. "It would be the difference in $9,500."

"I'm sure," the wife says.

"Well, why would you be willing to pay so much extra," the undertaker inquires.

"Well," the wife says, "I read about this fella you buried here a long time ago, and he rose from the dead after three days. I want to make sure my husband stays in the ground."

 

[Victorium]

That's a good one, gave me a little chuckle. Thanks for posting.

 

[pitseleh]

That one is hilarious.

 

[NZEN]

"No rike Chinese?" asks the co-pilot, "why not?".

And the funny thing is that's a Japanese accent

Chinese = No R sounds
Japanese = No L sounds

 

[Victorium]

And the funny thing is that's a Japanese accent

Chinese = No R sounds
Japanese = No L sounds

Oh rell, what matter!