Jealousy, how do I experience it?

[Seahorse]

I know no one is going to believe this, but I wouldn't waste my time writing it, if I didn't need advice on this subject, without going into tremendous detail....I have never(extremely honestly here), never, ever experienced jealousy, even though I've had an awful lot of reason's in my life to feel it at one time or another, I have a wonderful daughter, son and husband, I have bipolar disorder, my daughter needs a hear valve replacement, and my son is autistic, with a developmental delay...I don't expect any sympathy for it, though on the contrary, I am a very strong person.....my dilemma is this,,,,I have never experienced jealousy in my life, but through lots of situations, others have pointed out that people have thought that about me through various situations, I don't know how to respond when people come at me like that. I don't have any affiltiation presently with any church, as my very strong prophetic gifting is not welcome in many circles in our area....no, I'm not bragging, it's a fact....and through tremendous, extremely horrible circumstances in my life, I actually love the self that I call Lisa, that God actually created....however, if we are made in God's image and he is considered a jealous God, I must have been made some kind of "Freak"not to have felt it....I have been involved in many venues in life, modelling at one point, I sang at my own wedding, write poetry play the piano, have wonderful looking children, so maybe I can see a little where peolple are coming from.....but if you look past asthetic value, people would see troubles and not try to compete with me....I don't work full-time, after my son needed some surgery, I was able to swing working a third of the time....people on my job, are money hungry, have to have new cars, etc....but that kind of stuff never really made me want to crave monetary items....I just don't care, and it is very hard to find people that function on that level....No,,,I'm not high on my horse,,,,I just need help to connect to people that can understand where I am comming from....When my sister-in-law knew that I would sing my vows to her brother, I was called Cinderella, and she referred to herself and her other two sisters, as the step-sisters, I have had this problem all my life, and being the non-jealous type, I would for once like to walk in some jealous foot-steps so I can feel it....I even have friends that have normal children, ones that I could, but don't be jealous of, and they have said that they are still jealous of me.....I really need help....I mean it........Is there anybody that could help me on this subject, it would mean the world to me?...I have prayed about it,,,,,but with my gifting, Jesus keeps telling me, that others will eventually see that I don't do any harm with my giftings.....When I sing in a group of people, as I often did when I would get prophetic songs, people would try to sing louder, etc, so I would go quiet, I just don't think I can relate to people, they seem to be always talking about money, or kids with straight A's, it's as if they need more problems in their life to appreciate the little things(no I'm not cursing people), I just don't think,,,,and I've never verbalized this, or ever written it down before, but it's hard to find people on my level....If any one wants to write this, with an open mind and heart, and not be harsh on me, because of the way I worded this thread, please write me a response, or better yet, could you please {PM me} with your thoughts......Please feel free, I would like the comments, {edit} my name is Lisa.....Bless everyone......Thanks

 

[mamaneenie]

To be quite honest I don't know what to say to you. I find myself that jealousy is a horrible emotion. It destroys relationships and makes the person who has it a very bitter person. Are you sure you want to experience this emotion?

I would think that God wouldn't want you to experience this emotion, as it is an emotion that is very powerful, and takes away your focus on what you have to be thankful to God for.

From your post, it seems that even though you have your problems, that you can praise God in the middle of it all. That is a quality to be admired.

 

[Galadriel]

I agree that you seem very blessed in that you don't experience jelousy. Its a rotten emotion. Hmm, not sure how to explain it to someone who has never experienced it. So you've never thought "I want what he/she has" or anything like that? Wow, hmm, ah I suppose just be VERY thankful you don't have this wretched emotion ruining your life.

 

[goodgirl]

yeah, barely a jealous bone in my body either... I can't really tell where you're coming from but do you mean that you want to feel jealousy because it can serve as a useful warning? I mean, sometimes I wish I were more jealous/suspicious, usually after I trust someone and they backstab me. LOL Anyway, I agree with others, it's a stupid and useless emotion for the most part. Count yer blessings.

 

[Irocc]

I have to agree with the rest of the guys, that jealousy is rotten emotion; speaking from experience mind you.
Somebody somewhere said that when one is jealous, it's coz they don't wonna loose what they have and envy is when you wish you could have somethg that somebody else has.
From my experience I learned that jealousy is sorta selfishness; you want to have somethg all to yourself and don't wonna share it coz you are afraid to loose it. I don't think you'd want this kind of emotion. Everytime I sense this feeling, I pray that God helps me coz the 1st time I experienced it, it was horrible
I almost hated myself
I was so mad at my self coz I knew I wasn't being a good friend by being jealous of my friend.
I am so sure you donot wonna go thru' that.
Just thank God you haven't experienced it

 

[Stanfi]

Seahorse,

It sounds to me you have a gift of contenment. This is your blessing!! Jealousy is an ugly emotion. When it gets out of hand it affects a person physically, emotionally, and spritiually. Plus it destroys relationships.

Don't desire for something so ugly to come into your life. I have suffered with jealously upon occasion. Trust me I would gladly trade you.

 

[Pseud]

I implore you not to wish Jealousy on yourself, please.

I don't know how to respond when people come at me like that. I don't have any affiltiation presently with any church...

and

I just need help to connect to people that can understand where I am comming from

I think you really need to find a church where you can go to and feel comfortable. Somewhere where there are people like you that you can connect to. You don't need to acquire jealousy to connect to people. There are people out there that you can connect with. This forum is a great start!

Anyway, 's all i got... *hugs*

 

[Lee]

Sister if you are not experiencing jealousy, that is a blessing from God. Many people on this earth experience that and ruin a lot of relationships. Rejoice that God is giving you the gift of mercy! Praise GOD!

 

[Sunbeam]

I would like to say something different. I think you lack some desire in a general and normal sense, and you think that perhaps jealousy is what causes people to desire, and to then achieve, and go out and do things and take risks and that you would be helped by this. No, you wouldn't. You said you are bi-polar. This is one extreme to the other. Either depressed or manic more than half the time. When you are depressed, you don't feel desire, and when you are manic, you are just doing things without much restraint, or want, but compelled which is not true desire. I think you lack awareness of where you WANT to go in an even natural way. Which is a different route than jealousy. When people are jealous, they often want things that is not practical for them to have. It is not a good indictator of what direction they should go in. People are jealous because they don't live on an exotic island, or have a place in the A-list crowd and social circles of society. They want a husband that is different than the one they have. They want a job that someone else has, the exact same job in the exact same company. These aren't good things to aspire to as a christian, are they? Jealousy to me is often just worldly illusion that becomes appealing.

I desire peace with God through Jesus Christ by knowing I have followed the commandments. This peace gives protection in all ways, and respect of others and friends of various levels. It is much to desire here to do the right thing. I mean it does keep me busy. I desire to know I'm doing the right thing before God. I need to know first, then do and keep trying, and the rest in the peace I'm given.

I think you lack a feeling of ambition and specific direction. Personally, I deal with that by feeling where I feel unsettled and what I need for spiritual and worldly needs. A feeling of jealousy is impractical. People wish that they had much jewelry, or that they had a lake in their backyard or another's car. That is not something that is really a good goal in general of all the goals you can think of. It also leads towards criminal behavior if you think about it.

Perhaps a christian counselor can help you explore what you feel is missing in a normal sense and where you feel hurt from the past, and you can recognize that as desire to fix this and go from there.

That's all I can think of.