ive no passion...

[malckiah]

Hello friend, i am sorry to hear that you don't believe in God anymore, but it seems like your spirit is crying out for help. I guess i would ask....how can you not believe in God? If you look at a painting it is easy to conclude that there was a painter that painted it...right. Well its just as easy....look around, see the mountains, and the stars, and all the the universe....it would only be reasonable to conclude that there is indeed a Creator!
Now look at creation....think about trees for instance...some countries use the leaves for medicine and for shelter, the trunk is used to build many things, if the tree bears fruit it gives and never asks for anything in return, the tree is sacrificed in its entirety.....but look around, this is how all of creation is, animals become food, vegetables and fruit also.... you can see the likeness between the creation and The Creator how He gave Himself entirely for us. You know already deep within your heart that The Lord is true... His Endless Love, His ultimate sacrifice. please take a moment to read my testamony, i posted in the tesamony spot on this website a few days ago.....I did not choose Jesus, He chose me....check it out! May The Lord bless you with eyes to see and ears to hear my friend. God Bless! amen.

 

[Endure2]

my spirit isnt crying for help, i wish everyone could see me and see how solemn i am about this...this isnt an emotional issue for me.i just want a goal.
its a small concern...thats all.

surely, the world is a beautiful place. it does look created and sculpted...but i really dont know. i dont jump to such conclusions anymore.
i dont know such a person or anything about them if they do exist. and i certainly dont believe in Jesus, i called his name enough.
i prefer to be oblivious to such things as long as they are oblivious to me.
i do not already know in my heart that God exists... thats simply not true.
but thank you for your concern.
it is appreciated.

 

[malckiah]

Hello again, i am sorry you feel the way you do. i am sorry you do not believe anymore. The cool thing is though...is that whether or not you believe in Jesus or that the world was created.......it was and Jesus is! I will pray that you will open your heart to see that He is by your side waiting for you! amen.

 

[Endure2]

well thanks, that shows you care. whether i believe it works or not.
it really isnt a matter of opening my heart.
but thank you nonetheless.

 

[Dondi]

dondi
i am a heart to heart kind of person, a counseler of sorts, i enjoy easing peoples fears making people feel better, helping people understand whats happening to them, putting their problems in perspective so they dont feel theirs no hope. its always come natural for me, because its a desire that i have, to help people with these spiritual-emotional problems.

Well, I wish you all the best in your endeavers to find your "calling" in life.



I do have a question, though.

Is your unbelief in God soley based on the concept of the Christian God? Or have you explored the possibility of God as presented in other religions, such as Judaism or Islam?

I only ask this because many, for what ever reason, are turned off to God because of what they perceive in Christianity. I would that you would honestly consider alternatives before altogether dismissing the idea of God. Not that I'm trying to prostelyze you into other religions, but rather that I would hope that your agnosticism isn't based solely on what you have observed in the only religion that you are familiar with.

 

[Endure2]

Dondi

hi again,
well thankyou, i might need a bit of luck.

hmm...
have i considered another religion, or am i throwing away thought of based on my unhappiness with christianity?
i...i havent considered another religion, i guess old habits die hard, why i dont believe in christianity, old stereotypes it caused in me toward other religions still remain i guess. i havent given it alot of thought.
i havent researched any other religions.
christianity was my religion..my God...and when it went away, all thought of their being a God did too.
mental laziness i guess...maybe its something i need to consider.
ive just..grown quite acustomed to life with no God. i dont really want to evaluate it all over again.

 

[Dondi]

I'm just saying. I actually drifted from Christianity and found myself immersed in Judaism, though I didn't convert (I guess I could be regarded as a Noachide). i drifted because I couldn't reconcile the thought of good people of other religions going to hell simply because they grew up in the wrong faith. I learn a world of difference in what I thought about the God of the Jews. I found that the things Judaism taught lined up with many teachings, parables, and sayings of Jesus. Well, I guess that makes sense since his disciples referred to Jesus as rabbi.

Anyway, it gave me a fresh perspective on the idea of God and what He really wants out of us. I would just encourage you to consider the alternative view of God and not completely flush the idea away completely. You might discover something you never realized.

 

[dvd_holc]

Hello Endure2,

I have seen some rough times and some not so rough times with you here...question

Why do you want so badly to make a difference in the world? Why do you want so badly to encourage people into well being? Why do you care? Where you created for this?

 

[Endure2]

hi dvd holc
its been a while since we talked.
how are you lately?
im well, about to have a few weeks back in america.
yay!

ok,
i...do care for people, why? why if it didn't come from a purpose, why without God or eternity in mind? why would i if i didnt believe in all these other things?

i dont know the answers to those questions.

but i know that i do love people and do want to do something of worth, something of purpose.
and also simply want to live a good life, and if we dont have goals, we never accomplish anything. ill be broke and unhappy my whole life without goals.

how do explain where my need for purpose or simple desires to enjoy life come from? i dont know man.
and thats the bottom line...i dont know. i dont try to know why i enjoy the taste of steak... or why women are attractive to me...who cares ya know?
i could adopt any number of theories...but they would remain theories untill proven, and i dont believe you can prove them.
so id rather just have what i have, do what i do, and follow the desires i have and not worry so much where they came from or why, if those searches dont lead anywhere.

i mean, whats the point of trying to know so much about the metaphysical realm, if....thats what it is... we cant see it, we cant feel it... we dont know... how can we? all we can do is guess.
the bible and such is just some guys theory on it, but thats all. untill i see some real evidence or proof that theres some real power or truth behind it, through experience, i continue to be oblivious to such unrewarding things.

 

[Gentle]

It sounds like you were in a fevered passion and are now in a more lucid state in the Hindu/Buddhist sense.
This is strange for me b/c you are suffering from a desire to have passion? But passion itself is full of ignorance b/c being so based on emotion our thoughts, decisions, ideas, ect are not clear as they are in a calm lucid state.
Could you be going up but only appear to be going down? most things come back to fear or perspective
sit back, relax and just watch life for awhile longer and trust your mind will find the way it will.
It's just sort of a mental trap, a desire to desire
even without passion I'd look into Hinduism and Buddhism without which it's almost impossible to understand Christ anyways.
If Jesus was above the Buddha surely what He did was from lucidity, calmness and total awareness of himself. Many roads to hell are paved with good intentions and the worst roads have the most passion. Desperatly trying to save the fish from drowning the monkey put the fish up in a tree, and this happens every second with humans.
"Know thyself" is above any man made religion, creed or doctrine.
i don't know b/c who can see in anothers mind right? but you just might be exactly where you are supposed to be and no less directed and led by God than ever before. B/c God isn't in a book or man or church, but within.
In your state you can find that God within which is quite real and what is within is without it's not a cliche only but 'truth' if I may use that word.
it just sounds like you are reaching a higher understanding but not feeling it yet. But like I said I can't feel or sense what you do.
I can remember not long ago doing the same here and being honest.....I was the same in that sense. I had weird gnostic theories, 87678976876 religions in one driven to figure out what it was I was onto. My blog is simple insanity and I would never write those things now nor do I feel that passion. It stopped when my mind slowed down and looked at things calmly and rationally
it' all one journey and I've zero doubt you will figure it out....u won't even have to, it will come to you.
and it sounds like you already possess so many virtues that for many are quite difficult to obtain if they ever do.
Trust in your own nature
just trust yourself and accept your mind knows what it's doing.
whats wrong with being a Humanist?
active chasing and action isn't always the means.
I can see that you know all these wonderful things about yourself, so trust man
God bless peace

 

[Endure2]

hmm.
enteresting for sure.

if God, is just a non-physical, unspoken...essence that is within us regardless of our knowledge of it and our decisions toward it... simply a part of us all...(that is what your saying right?)...then why personalise it and give it a name like "God"?

but if buddhism or hinduism teaches this calm, logical, know thyself...way of life, this is enteresting...because thats all me and thats what i want.
i dont want a God person or a savior or answer to my being, i want this calm logical perceptive stance on life, in order to deal with problems more effectively and enjoy life more. less worries and such.

but in way your right, i am becoming a bit...starry eyed again...hehe
well i gtg to lunch...

 

[Gentle]

I know this sounds silly but d/l Allan Watts(not Allan Watt) all that you can find as he lectures on Hinduism, Buddhism,Christianity...everything and being who he was his genious was that he could explain these concepts in such simple terms.
The day I picked up Hindu and Buddhist belief my life improved form that day on
you have the choice to believe in a God or not believe and understand this whole concept of "God" isn't really understood here whatsoever.
It's an entire new reality
it's an awakeing
it just takes patience
there are so many free books and texts online
sacred text.com I believe has every major religious work since Dogon.
Look for the works of Swami Prabhupada for his translations and his original work....u will start seeing things in way you might not have guessed; read the Bhagavatam is you have the time, but I warm most the literature is massive. I have 15 huge binders of just the Mahabarrata but I'd stick with Bhagavatam and the Gita first.
The real trick is getting past all the new age religion gimmick, it's not hard to detect but it's everywhere in it's fashion form.
If you have any chance to talk for even 10 minutes with a Swami or Master, DO IT! You should know if he is legit or not, you can sense it.
Again I say without these studies I could never have understood Christ in the least. My priest is quite excellent but in reality I know through talks with him that he really doesn't get it either.
You need to forget what you think you knew about God and esp the NA version; a chopped up, edited, B movie.
It would take me time but if you cant d/l the texts my g/f can d/l it all at work but as I said due to the size of such works, it takes time.
but if you can find a Master, jump on it man see what he has to say b/c I do not possess the knowledge nor the words to explain what they can.
it's a new world and I'm sure many will say it's evil or some such non sense as the Pope called Buddhism "Mental touching yourself" proving he couldn't understand the Buddha much less Christ.
The ignorance or lies goes right to the top of all these institutions.
and it's a dumb game, "Hindus kill and rape baby"
"Christians burning witches" "Muslems want to kill Christians"
this is so irrelevant
of course people do evil things and obviously from all backgrounds and all religions as if it were only one we would know who the 'enemy' is
thats politics,gossip,the social game that has nothing to do with religion whatsover. I see the debates here none stop with people doing nothing but attack based on random tragedy and apply it to religion. LOL
Honestly I don't know if any get it at times but whatever right?
what you have inside will tell you whats true and whats a lie and you know that.
God wants us to use our minds not our opinions which are worthless.
the man calm in mind can get the baby out of the burning house not the man running around in an emotional frenzy. Thats extreme but it's all degrees.
I'm not trying to convince you of anything
You will see it or you won't and either way it's right.
never hurts to trust fate either
God bless you and good luck anywhere you go
peace
Gentle
ps lately I've been reseaching Wicca, Neo Paganism
with a calm mind there are 'keys' in almost every religion and it all becomes a joy and doesn't divide the mind at all

 

[malckiah]

Hello friend, i dont know what gave you the idea that God (the only real God) Jesus is impersonal. God gives us The Holy Spirit to dwell inside us and guide us in all that we do! Jesus can give you a true calm and peace that you cannot get from the world or false religions. And as far as knowing thyself....what is there to know?....that you are a sinner and there is always someone bigger or better than you? Or that you are not God and nomatter how good you are you are still a sinner and your still not God? Indeed if a worry free life is what you want...sure take the easy way out, of lies, and see where it leads you....ive been there...its not a happy place......but then when you want to really live and have a true peace, then give Jesus your life and He will give you a life that you could never imagine!!!! My point was simply that whether you believe in Jesus or not....He is The Way, The Truth, and The Life!!!!...and He is The One True God! May The Lord Bless You with an understanding of the truth! amen.

 

[Gentle]

See, what I mean man, it deals in such absolutes and immediately attacks and calls you a sinner.
Of course you will find darkness inside and how to overcome it but avoid the "Thou Shall Not" mentality.
Again too all religions here are 'false' except Christianity; absolute.
There are no facts only interpretations, trust your heart and still mind in the face of this reasoning.
The ignorant will always attack b/c he knows nothing of the truth but rumour and opinions and has to assume his religion is right or it makes no sense to follow it.
But this isn't the essence of Faith whatsoever, faith is trust, trust in whatever the truth is and not scriptures or rules.
It matters not in the least if I'm right and would never assume to be so. I just wanted to warn you as to whats to come and has already. lol
tis human nature and if you did want to play the God must be game, compare Krsna to The OT God
peace bro, ignore the Siths lol

 

[Endure2]

gentle
"...only siths deal in absolutes..."
HAHA....you beat me to it!

thanks man.
it will be a while before i really wade into any heavy religious reading. but i appreciate your input.
ill give it some thought.

 

[Endure2]

ok people...

go back and read the very first line of my original post.

and then, if you dont have anything better to say, please keep your opinions to yourselves. im not gonna fight you and bring the unholy mods in here and i really could care less about being converted. i dont...i say again, i dont mind talking about christianity, i actually enjoy it, just dont push your beliefs on me.

 

[-Kyriaki-]

Hi endure2, nice to meet you
Please forgive me if I push any of my beliefs on you, it's honestly not my intention to.

You said earlier in the thread about wanting to be a counselor - is that a goal you can pursue? Do you have limits on what you can do in your current position in the military - can you pick up some psychology or counselling training as part of it, or is it something you can do in the near future because you're finishing up active duty?

It seems to me like you need something to keep you occupied and give you direction, and fill the space your fanaticism took up. Study, learn, if you can stomach Christianity again look into different theologies - some of them would be radically different to what you were thinking without necessarily being heretical. It would be a mindgame that would take the place of what you probably used to do in debate and apologetics, at least in the fact that you'd be learning.

Pick up things that make you feel that bit more fulfilled, and see what happens. Perhaps you'll even run into God again along the way

 

[Dondi]

If you do delve into Buddhism, you might want to look at the works of Thomas Merton, a Trappist monk who had an affinity with Buddism. One of his quotes worth mentioning:

"It is a glorious destiny to be a member of the human race, ... now I realize what we all are .... If only they [people] could all see themselves as they really are ...I suppose the big problem would be that we would fall down and worship each other ... At the center of our being is a point of nothingness which is untouched by sin and by illusions, a point of pure truth ... This little point ...is the pure glory of God in us. It is in everybody."

You are eager to help people, well, that is what Christianity is all about. We see God in the faces we meet. We see the need and fulfil it. Jesus said, "Insomuch as you have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto Me." - Matthew 25:40

The only law that really counts is to love you neighbor as yourself. You appear to have that desire and as long as you pursue it, I believe you will find fulfillment in your life.

 

[dvd_holc]

I am doing good. I have been busy. My sister gave birth to a 9 lb 9 oz daughter last week, so we (my wife and me) visited the family. Also, work has been busy. We had the in-laws in for Thanksgiving, so the house had to be perfect…oh there a bunch of things been going on…and I am doing good.

It is good to hear that you have been well and it is great to hear that you coming back home. It sounds like you had a little rough time with the loss of the major. I am sorry to hear what she did.

I see your struggle as a very spiritual. Please follow. By your own omission when you live without a purpose you have an empty life; you are disconnected from meaning where you become an empty shell failing to experience true sustaining joy and happiness. The end result is a living death. However, when you live with a purpose, from within the purpose the purpose provides you meaning. You work toward achieving meaningful results that builds life which in turn give you fulfillment and joy. When you live for this purpose, you become apart of this purpose; consequently, your identity is shaped around the purpose. This purpose also involves love as a source of joy and happiness. Now, in order to have to a purpose you must know the purpose. You don’t need to know the full details but you must have enough knowledge to know that the purpose is worthy and meaningful.

Now, thought you sawing this…I will say that 1) by you being a human you have this natural desire to be seek out, find, know, and devoted to a purpose and 2) you are not alone in this purpose that is you will gain brotherhood, companionship, and fellowship with others who are have the similar passion for the purpose.

This is the walk of faith to know God and how to live for Him. You are being called to understand your own nature and develop your identity so that you produce meaningful results in the world. I understand your pain in the little bit you have shown me. I remember the talks. I remember your anger. I am sure you have not let go off those things. But don’t settle for chaotic thoughts and passions. You know you are more than those simple momentary confusions and quick emotions. You desire life then do not settle for I don’t know. Work at it until you get answers that build up to produce life. You do know yourself, so then be honest with yourself. I believe if you are honest with yourself you would accept that you already have the proof that you are made for a purposeful life which involves love. We can argue and debate theology (as we are) to fine finer points about things which happened in the past, but it is the message of here and now that God gives the purpose of love producing life as a present reality to your mortal body as the highest witness of the truth of God. The day you surrender to love you will let go of the anger you have toward God.

 

[Endure2]

dvd holc

its good to hear about your family, yeah the loss of the MAJ really got to me.

well, first let me correct you on a few things.
i didnt say that this lack of purpose or goal (for a better word) made my life, empty, my life isnt empty at all. i have a great life, great friends and loved ones and i enjoy my life alot... sometimes i just feel like i need to be working toward something and i just dont know what it would be, becuase i dont aspire to be much.
but no, my life isnt empty. i do have joy and satisfaction, like i said...i have a great life.
i just want a goal, and i gave up on goals when i did God, becuase God was the only goal i ever had really.

the walk of faith...
well, i dont mean to be blunt, but thats something i dont do anymore, walk in faith. i make the best decisions i can and go for it based on logic and impuse.
but i wont walk a road of faith anymore, i am a firm believer that is disallusion.

those passions and quick emotions you refered to were the result of bitter disappointment and a rude awakening. i have let go of alot of those feelings, it doesnt really bother me anymore, i am happy as i am.

i do not have proof that i was created for anything, at best all that i have ever had were farfetched theories. what i have is a simple lack of information to support anything beyond the fact that i simply am. so thats what i know..that im here and while im here i might as well be happy. and i do happen to care for people...must this desire come from a creator? i dont know...i dont see why...i dont know any creator. what i do know is i do care so i try to help people.

i do love, ive never denied love. you may not believe me, but ive never had any great love come to me it be denied.
i do love, but that doesnt lead me to believe in God.
what it has shown me is just what i am and can be, without God in my life. that i dont need God to have morals and make a diffrence in the world.

believe me man...
this is no where near a cry of my heart for love and purpose that is drawing me back to God.
i laid that issue to rest a while back, and in the year or two its been, ive become quite happy and content away from it all. im a more stable, level headed, happier, more satisfied person than ive ever been.
no goal to focus my life on?
maybe not...
but i am so far beyond the person that i was when i was a christian.
i was once a fretful, worried, anxiety filled person who could barely look people in the eye, i was full of pride, i thought my christianity made me better than other people, i had a terrible self esteem problem, not to mention pretty far off the deepend in spiritualism.

but now...
im more productive than iver ever been, i have a great job and career that i never would had if id not changed my beliefs, i dont have these self esteem issues anymore, im a more level headed logical person, i can face lifes battles more head on now instead of living in a fantasy world wishing things were diffrent and trying to make them diffrent through God.
all this...majorly because i stopped thinking like i had as a christian.
for once in my life, i actually enjoy my life now and finally its going somewhere.