I've decided to quit drinking...I WILL NEED HELP AND SUPPORT :)

[Sober Mommy]

December 25, 2012

I did it again...I woke up not remembering half of my evening. How many times have I done this before I ask myself? Oh one too many and yet I continue to "binge" drink, yes I said binge drinking. You see for many years I used to tell myself that I didn't have a drinking problem, I used to say oh I didn't eat enough so I got really drunk. That seemed to be my excuse each time I would get super drunk and make a fool of myself and hurt others in the process. I can type away and tell you my drunk nights and stories but if I did, I would never get to the point as to why I decided to quit drinking. I will however share a few stories that were caused due to my drinking that really has affected my family.

One evening I went out to a friends house to have a few drinks, well it went from one to too many drinks. Knowing that I was going to drink I gave my friend my car keys, trying to be responsible. I thought I'd sleep it off so I slept for a few hours and thought I was ok, so I took my keys from my friend (she was drunk too) and drove home. The next morning my mother knocked on my door and asked what happened to my car. I flipped out and thought someone had broken into my car. Well that wasn't it....I crashed my car. It cost nearly $8,000.00 to have it fixed. Luckily my insurance took care of it. So you think I quit drinking? No!!! I should have right but I didn't. Then some time later I went out for a few and thought I was ok to drive which I was but we were heading out for more drinks. Guess what? I hit a car and luckily I wasn't drunk but I am sure that had the cops smelled me and had given me a breath test, I would have a DUI. Ok now you are probably saying she quit! Nope!!!! Kept on drinking and in the midst of all this, I lost friends because of my behavior while drinking never accepting that alcohol was affecting me. I always had an excuse and would blame others saying oh well you made me mad and you knew I was drunk. I can say that I have cut back on my drinking a lot and I mean a lot but when I still drank there were days where I couldn't stay at just one drink. Never! It was always one then two then three then drunk and drinking whatever I saw in my way. Like I said I can go on and on but really you see my point. I was becoming a foolish drunk at the family parties, friends bday gatherings, and not having memory of some holiday events with my kids.

Today I have decided to quit drinking for these reasons and many more. I have decided to make a blog so I can get support to help me get through my journey. It was hard for me to see my life sober and I know it will be hard but with friends and family support, the love my of Lord, and me....I know that I will be able to do this. So there you have it....DAY ONE of my sober journey. I hope you will follow me and give me words of encouragement and hope that maybe there are others that need help and together we can do this.

Lets make this a positive and SOBER journey. I am afraid of the path but I know that I will succeed with support and my Lord! I am not going to let alcohol be my buddy and worse enemy again!

 

[Christophercbm]

I wish you the best. I come from a family that is full of people who struggle with alcohol. Just take it one day at a time and God bless!

 

[Chaplain David]

December 25, 2012

I did it again...I woke up not remembering half of my evening. How many times have I done this before I ask myself? Oh one too many and yet I continue to "binge" drink, yes I said binge drinking. You see for many years I used to tell myself that I didn't have a drinking problem, I used to say oh I didn't eat enough so I got really drunk. That seemed to be my excuse each time I would get super drunk and make a fool of myself and hurt others in the process. I can type away and tell you my drunk nights and stories but if I did, I would never get to the point as to why I decided to quit drinking. I will however share a few stories that were caused due to my drinking that really has affected my family.

One evening I went out to a friends house to have a few drinks, well it went from one to too many drinks. Knowing that I was going to drink I gave my friend my car keys, trying to be responsible. I thought I'd sleep it off so I slept for a few hours and thought I was ok, so I took my keys from my friend (she was drunk too) and drove home. The next morning my mother knocked on my door and asked what happened to my car. I flipped out and thought someone had broken into my car. Well that wasn't it....I crashed my car. It cost nearly $8,000.00 to have it fixed. Luckily my insurance took care of it. So you think I quit drinking? No!!! I should have right but I didn't. Then some time later I went out for a few and thought I was ok to drive which I was but we were heading out for more drinks. Guess what? I hit a car and luckily I wasn't drunk but I am sure that had the cops smelled me and had given me a breath test, I would have a DUI. Ok now you are probably saying she quit! Nope!!!! Kept on drinking and in the midst of all this, I lost friends because of my behavior while drinking never accepting that alcohol was affecting me. I always had an excuse and would blame others saying oh well you made me mad and you knew I was drunk. I can say that I have cut back on my drinking a lot and I mean a lot but when I still drank there were days where I couldn't stay at just one drink. Never! It was always one then two then three then drunk and drinking whatever I saw in my way. Like I said I can go on and on but really you see my point. I was becoming a foolish drunk at the family parties, friends bday gatherings, and not having memory of some holiday events with my kids.

Today I have decided to quit drinking for these reasons and many more. I have decided to make a blog so I can get support to help me get through my journey. It was hard for me to see my life sober and I know it will be hard but with friends and family support, the love my of Lord, and me....I know that I will be able to do this. So there you have it....DAY ONE of my sober journey. I hope you will follow me and give me words of encouragement and hope that maybe there are others that need help and together we can do this.

Lets make this a positive and SOBER journey. I am afraid of the path but I know that I will succeed with support and my Lord! I am not going to let alcohol be my buddy and worse enemy again!

Hello,

I pray the very best for you. I got sober in AA and still go after quite a few years. If you'd like to talk please pm me or submit a post in the Ask a Chaplain forum. God bless you.

 

[dgiharris]

The biggest mistake addicts make is they try to reinvent the wheel all on their own and they refuse to utilize available resources that will greatly enhance their chance of beating their addiction...

yes, I'm speaking of AA.

Addicts hate AA because deep in their hearts they know AA is right... and deep in their hearts they don't want to quit drinking.

I wish you the best but if you really want to beat your drinking habit, you need to go to AA.

There is an AA chapter in every city in the entire world!!! A simple google search will find one in your area.

 

[UKChristian]

I wish you all the best and will keep you in my prayers.

 

[BlessedDove]

The best advice I ever got regarding quitting drinking was to go to an AA meeting with an open mind and to keep coming back. It works if you work it and surrender your life and will to God.

 

[10101212]

so long as you keep this thread updated i will contribute regularly. i can attest to the fact that sobering up makes you feel incredible. i made it last year from aug 25th to the beginning of this year and have decided to do it again after falling off the wagon. maybe sharing some of my experience will give you something to look forward to, and hopefully this thread will help us both get sober again.

when i first quit aug 25th (24th was my last drink, and i only actually had 1 that day, the last swig of a bottle left over) it was because my life had not necessarily hit rock bottom. but my last night of drinking i got into 2 fights, one before the blackout and one after. on top of that i spent,or lost i don't know but i was $300 short the next day. this was money i really needed for bills and rent next week. plus i woke up in my jeans in the biggest pile of pee i had ever seen. i was first angry about my missing money and one of the fights bc it was with a friend and my fault because i can get scary when drunk. but then i was also relieved i didnt wake up in jail as i share custody of a 2 year old (he was 1 1/2 at time) and didnt want any troubles there. he wasnt with me at the time and i always did a good job as a dad when he was over but when he was gone id do what i wanted, but a court record of that night might have been detrimental in that way. anyway i hoped to be able to borrow the money i need the next week from my sister but she was poor that month, so i ended up getting a break from my landlord and just payed late....
anyway heres the great news! i did go to AA that first night and continued to go about 2-4 times a month. after i sobered up life became amazing for me. i went from living month to month, barely scraping by, to well...living month to month but not scraping by at least. i was getting more work, i only remember getting angry once or twice over the next 5 months. i started reading like crazy during my downtime at work. i renovated my apt. i started up some websites, after spending much time with adobe programs learning and being fascinated every step of the way as i learned more and more. mind you i used to just sit on my butt with or without my friends drinking and smoking pot. the drinking made me a sad and angry person and the pot added to that plus it made me extremely unmotivated. mind you all my friends were the same way, even though the booze and pot may not have made them as bad as me.
a lot of addicts have trouble sleeping the first week or while because theyre used to passing out not falling asleep. in the past when ive cleaned up ive noticed i had this problem too. this time around i hustled ALL DAY EVERY DAY, and found that so long as i used all my energy every day i could sleep well at night.
Anyway my son just woke up so ill get to the second part soon...the part where i explain my downfall and my addiction showing back up. ive just decided two weeks ago to quit again...this time along with cigs even and it hasnt been altogether successful like last time. in two weeks i basically stayed away from the stuff and only bummed a few cigs rather than smoking packs. but i did have a 3 day streak of drinking and smoking pot and thats a little dissapointing. anyway i hope you dont feel im hijacking your thread but rather giving my backstory out of the way so we can maybe help each other, like being each others online 'sponsor" of sorts. ill post again later, keep your head up and ty for this thread.

 

[Oakcyclist]

Sobermommy - I wish you the best of luck of in your continued sobriety. I too would advise you to find an AA meeting or some other program that you can go to regularly for support. Because those old situations that reminded of the times you drank whatever they are can be powerful lures.

My story is similar...I have a great fiancee who is at the end of her rope with me. Drinking to blackouts, missing work, being belligerent to her while drunk, losing friends, starting rehab but feeling like I was too good for it, etc. Well this past Tuesday was my last drink. I drank so much I was probably drinking to kill myself. Wednesday I woke up and decided that was it. So I called someone I knew had entered AA and found it to be very helpful. He offered to meet me at a meeting in the evening. On the way to the meeting I experienced a seizure and ended up in the hospital. Completely blacked out only to be awoken surrounded by paramedics wondering what happened. Luckily I suffered only minor injuries. Well Friday I made my first AA meeting. I'm going for a short bike ride today but will go to another tonight. That and lots of prayer will hopefully me get me through this period.

So I urge you, pray, pray, pray but get into some group where you have support and can share your story. I think sharing your story is a good way of reminding yourself where you came from and I can see the usefulness of sharing how long you've been sober. Kinda cool hearing someone in the room sober for 25 years and still coming to meetings I still have concerns about AA and just the higher power stuff - since the higher power is God not just whatever you think it should be and the constant labeling of yourself as an alcoholic. I like to think of myself as a child of God with an alcohol problem/sin.

 

[Cymro14]

,,

 

[BlessedDove]

Are you afraid other people will think you drink too much? Chances are, they already know you have a drinking problem. Very few of us are able to hide it completely. I live in a small town and many people know I attend AA meetings. I have found there to be no stigma or ill will associated with being part of the fellowship. Most of the time, when people find out I am an alcoholic, they talk to me about friends and relatives who have drinking problems and ask for advice. There's no shame involved with working towards a recovery of mind, body and spirit. It's holy work that's being done in those rooms.

 

[mark kennedy]

December 25, 2012

I did it again...I woke up not remembering half of my evening. How many times have I done this before I ask myself? Oh one too many and yet I continue to "binge" drink, yes I said binge drinking. You see for many years I used to tell myself that I didn't have a drinking problem, I used to say oh I didn't eat enough so I got really drunk. That seemed to be my excuse each time I would get super drunk and make a fool of myself and hurt others in the process. I can type away and tell you my drunk nights and stories but if I did, I would never get to the point as to why I decided to quit drinking. I will however share a few stories that were caused due to my drinking that really has affected my family.

One evening I went out to a friends house to have a few drinks, well it went from one to too many drinks. Knowing that I was going to drink I gave my friend my car keys, trying to be responsible. I thought I'd sleep it off so I slept for a few hours and thought I was ok, so I took my keys from my friend (she was drunk too) and drove home. The next morning my mother knocked on my door and asked what happened to my car. I flipped out and thought someone had broken into my car. Well that wasn't it....I crashed my car. It cost nearly $8,000.00 to have it fixed. Luckily my insurance took care of it. So you think I quit drinking? No!!! I should have right but I didn't. Then some time later I went out for a few and thought I was ok to drive which I was but we were heading out for more drinks. Guess what? I hit a car and luckily I wasn't drunk but I am sure that had the cops smelled me and had given me a breath test, I would have a DUI. Ok now you are probably saying she quit! Nope!!!! Kept on drinking and in the midst of all this, I lost friends because of my behavior while drinking never accepting that alcohol was affecting me. I always had an excuse and would blame others saying oh well you made me mad and you knew I was drunk. I can say that I have cut back on my drinking a lot and I mean a lot but when I still drank there were days where I couldn't stay at just one drink. Never! It was always one then two then three then drunk and drinking whatever I saw in my way. Like I said I can go on and on but really you see my point. I was becoming a foolish drunk at the family parties, friends bday gatherings, and not having memory of some holiday events with my kids.

Today I have decided to quit drinking for these reasons and many more. I have decided to make a blog so I can get support to help me get through my journey. It was hard for me to see my life sober and I know it will be hard but with friends and family support, the love my of Lord, and me....I know that I will be able to do this. So there you have it....DAY ONE of my sober journey. I hope you will follow me and give me words of encouragement and hope that maybe there are others that need help and together we can do this.

Lets make this a positive and SOBER journey. I am afraid of the path but I know that I will succeed with support and my Lord! I am not going to let alcohol be my buddy and worse enemy again!

Well it's encouraging that you are coming to realize that it's out of control, that's a key moment in your recovery. It sounds like you have triggered that subconscious thing that all alcoholics trigger that cause them to lose control of their drinking. I just wanted to share a few thoughts about your post

Not drinking isn't going to solve anything, this addiction runs deeper then that. For one thing if you are dependent on it when it's gone the depression can be devastating. It really doesn't sound like you have the disease just yet so perhaps just quitting can do the trick, I have no earthly way of knowing. I would just suggest that a couple of meetings can provide invaluable support, just consider looking into AA and continue to be honest with yourself while you struggle to get this thing under control.

Not that I think you will but feel free to PM me if you would like someone to talk to about it off line.

Grace and peace,
Mark

 

[BlessedDove]

Sober Mommy...I see myself in your words. I too remember the agony of regret, being stuck in my excuses, embarrassing myself in front of friends and family and leaving a path of destruction in my wake. By the grace of God I was led to the rooms of AA and after admitting I am powerless when it comes to alcohol and coming to believe that God could remove my obsession to drink, I have come to know peace and serenity. It's been over two years now since I have had a drink and life is so much better that it amazes me on a daily basis.

I wish you all the best on your journey and really encourage you to check out an AA meeting. Miracles happen in those rooms. I have seen them and I am one. You don't ever have to drink again. There is a solution. It's simple, but not always easy. With the grace of God you can do it.

 

[PBA]

I decided to quit drinking several times. I never was able to stay stopped until I admitted utter defeat and that I couldn't do it. I had to attend AA meetings, read the big book, learn all I could about the disease, work my AA program, and abide in Christ daily. Today God is doing for me what I couldn't do for myself and it includes staying in contact with other alcoholics. I still attend AA meetings, read the big book, learn all I can about the disease, work my program, and abide in Christ daily.
Sober over 16 years now, by His Grace. I'm starting to attend Celebrate Recovery meetings with fellow Christians now also. I would urge you to call AA for a 12 step call and get an AA big book. Start reading it if you think you have a problem with alcohol. Thanks for posting. You're on the right track.

 

[WhoeverLovesGod01]

Do it bro. More $$. More clarity. More health. More spirituality. More respect from yourself and those around you.

You have nothing to prove to anyone by carrying on drinking. You've probably drunk them all under the table for a lifetimes worth.

 

[PBA]

Alcoholism is cunning, baffling, and powerful. I doubt just posting messages will be enough support to stop and to stay sober. Your chances are best if you attend AA, read the AA big book, turn your life over to God, and work the AA program. To use this site for additional support to discus topics and problems to maintain sobriety would be a good idea too. If you decide against going with AA you better be willing to read all about Alcoholism in the big book and post a lot of messages on a daily basis, while doing what is suggested in the posted replies. The real challenge is to live life sober and not ever pick up that first drink on a day to day basis.
PS - It takes a miracle and God works through people.

 

[jacksonwiliams]

It is sad to hear your story. I will pray to god to give you strength to stop drinking.

 

[Dusky Mouse]

The last post this mommy made was January 2013

 

[familyof4]

You have our support your not in this alone
most importantly you have God's power to overcome anything that that the enemy sends your way.
I also had a serious drinking problem and I'm overcoming it one day at a time. It's a process but with small improvements and steps you will get pass this I promise.

 

[redcake]

Hi, I encourage you to go to AA too. I did it without AA. I gave up drinking and other substances with any help and I used them daily many years ago. Galatians teaches us to walk in the spirit SO THAT we won't walk in the flesh. This is what I did. I invested myself in doing all of what the Bible says to do (walking in the spirit) and bad habits just kept falling away. Don't be discouraged if you slip up - get back up and on with God. I encourage you not to focus on giving up the drink, but rather focus on obeying God and spending time with Him. That's why I like AA - they have the spiritual aspect and I believe this is crucial. Take care of yourself.