It's just not going well...

[fieldmouse3]

I'm having the worst depression ever right now. I've had it for five years now, and it's never been this bad. I'm not on any meds right now, but I'm starting on Paxil today or tomorrow. I don't feel like there's any hope or help for me at this point. Intellectually, I know that God doesn't want me to feel this way, but since I haven't seen much evidence of that being the case in my life, I don't really believe it in my heart. The smallest things that wouldn't even faze me ordinarily are tragedies that I can't get over. I can't take much more of this...talking to God doesn't even make me feel better. Neither does talking to people. There's just nothing left. What did I do to deserve this?

 

[PrairieGurl]

Dearest Fieldmouse

You did nothing to "deserve this ! It's just one part of your life, as it is mine

I know what it is like to talk to God and not feel better. That's when my prayers were, "Please help me Jesus", that's all I could utter .

There's LOTS left, Hon! I know you can't see it right now...but it is there!

My heart does ache for you because I KNOW the feeling of desperation, hoplessness, and not caring anymore! But I am "evidence" that things do and can "turn around"

Please "hang in" (I hate these sayings, but I can't think of what else to use )

Because I care,
Wendy

 

[Ruth~]

Sometimes, all I can say when I feel really bad is "Lord have mercy on me." I know how you feel. I think you need to take one day at a time and pray to get through them until you get the medicine. Once you get stabalized on the medicine you can think about counseling for whatever it is that is causing this depression. I don't know if something is causing it or not, mind you. But there is also therapy that can help depression if there isn't any root problem. Good luck to you. I'm praying for you.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Mousie! I love you and miss talking to you.

I'm on paxil too. It helped me out. I have a good shrink. If a med doesn't produce definite results fairly quickly then he doesn't like to waste time with it.


Feelings are unreliable. My feelings change with the weather. Such simple things can cause emotional extremes from one end to the other in us. I have some bad wiring in my head. Some obscure neurochemical is out of whack. That's all it is. My feelings are dependent on that. I've learned that I can't rely on something like that anymore. I go to the bible and see what it has to say about how God sees me, about who I am. Jesus died for me. These things are the truth. I don't have to feel good to know that two and two is four. It's the truth. The truth does not depend on our emotional state. So in spite of feeling awful I can still know the truth that God loves me. I can see past my pain and into the reality that my feelings are something I should not always rely upon.

 

[bennyk]

I know what you are going through mouse, I too have had depression for 3 months, although I am getting better now. For the first two every second I lived was absolute hell, and I could not even stand living. It was the most I don't know impossible to explain pain and hopelessness I have ever felt. Eventually God granted me understanding as to why I was going through all of this. That understanding gave me hope, and now I am getting better. Remember, all things are possible with God and no matter how hopeless you feel it can turn around. Just constantly pray to God for help and understanding. When you get through this God will reward you for all the suffering you endured.

I am praying for you
-Benny