It's been two weeks

[APaladinsHeart]

(takes a deep breath)

It has been two weeks since Libby went to be with Christ.

I came home from work to find that her body had lost it's twenty year fight with Bulemia. She had gently laid down on the kitchen floor, I'm assuming to catch her breath. Then quietly and peacefully she crossed to the other side to gaze upon His face.
I know she doesn't hurt anymore. The "demon" that pursued her is gone, and she IS happily worshipping our Heavenly Father.

But I hurt. I'm not angry with Him. He had allowed us our goodbyes that morning. I shall always be grateful for that. That morning before I left for work, she told me how proud she was of me, and that she loved me. I got to kiss her on the forehead (for reasons of morning breath) and tell her I love her. Everything was as it should be. Then not a couple hours later she was gone from this world.

How is it possible to go forward from there? All I can see right now is biding my time till I join her at His feet. I am doing His work still, and I have a tremendous love for His word, and His work that I must still do. But my heart is in pieces when it comes to joy.

J

 

[JeanR]

I wish I could give you heart warming words that will make the pain go away, but I can't. My husband passed suddenly 19 months ago. We had dinner and I left him to head over to church. He drove home, joked with our kids in the kitchen, sat down on the sofa in our family room, and died.

I didn't know how I was going to survive. I felt like I was drowning in emotions. I am forever grateful for the wonderful weekend we had at the shore. We had just returned the night before.

It does get easier, but it will take time. The first year is just a continuing roller coaster of emotions. The second year is dealing with reality. I honestly don't know which is worse.

This site helped me through the darkest days. Here everybody knows exactly how you feel and what you are going through. Also, what helped me was going for grief counseling. I didn't want a group and chose to go one on one. My therapist guided me through the grief and assured me that I was going to be ok in the end.

I will keep you in my prayers. God bless,

Jean

 

[APaladinsHeart]

My appointment with a counselor is Friday. I couldn't agree more with you about the importance of them.
Also, the thousands of prayers have brought a peace over my house as well as the house of her parents.
God is Great, no?

J

 

[JeanR]

God is great. Without him, I could never have survived. It's still a struggle and I miss my husband. My first grandchild is on the way and Terry would have been a wonderful grandfather. The baby is a boy and his middle name will be Terence. What a joy this baby will be.

 

[Aileen]

May the Lord bless and keep you during your grief process.

 

[theoneleftbehind]

Well its two weeks since my Diane died she went to hospital for a simple operation but never woke up she died with all her family by her side she was my I life finding very hard to think of reasons not to be with her (not going to do anything stupid) but I know how people can die because they are pinning for someone. I couldn't eat for the first week then had two days just eating but now I'm back to the not eating again.I did turn to drink the first week don't think I was sober much,still drink a little but now it only a little before I go to sleep.having to sleep on sofa can't sleep in our bed just the thought of it starts me crying

 

[APaladinsHeart]

Just passed the two month mark. And I feel your pain friend.
I find myself drifting off into fantasy(online games, movies and books) just so I don't have to deal with the reality of "alone".

I can say without doubt that drink will only prolong your pain. I spent two years in a bottle after the death of my brother. Only after stopping did I heal.

I know that healing is not what you want to do though. At least not right now. I ... I slept on her pillow for a month until her smell went away, Then I sprayed more of her perfume on it. I miss Lib dearly, I always will.
What is helping me is trying to keep in mind what God wants me to do. What is his work for me. For so long my work was providing for our future, and now that is gone. At least in a worldly sense.
I do not want her back on earth, I would never ask God to remove her from His presence. But I would cut off my left ear to hold her one more time.

My only advise(if it is even worth 2 cents) would be to not hide from it, hold God's hand and let Him walk you through it.

In His arms,
J