Its been a while...

[brokenwings27]

wow. its been almost a month since i have been here. I cant believe it.. well i have been SI free since mid-August. but last night i seriously came close to relapsing, but nothing is going on in my life that would make me sad or depressed.. the urge just came out of no where and i cant shake it.. its on my mind a lot when im bored or have nothing to do.. i try to keep myself busy so that i m not lingering in boredom, but it happens
Im hoping this will pass soon and that i wont give in.. cuz honestly right now im seriously considering giving it all up

 

[bubblefish]

Welcome back to the forums
That is a great achievement Hun You are doing so well!
Have you seen this list? It has a lot of things that may help you when you feel like cutting
Also, if you want to talk please feel free to PM me! I'm praying for you.

 

[justaspeck]

-

 

[brokenwings27]

it's back
the thing.. the darkness
it's back.. i can feel it...all around me
i cant stop dwelling on it all...
its almost like i am consumed by it
there is a war going on inside of me
half of me is screaming, and the other half is trying to take over and destroy me
i feel so dark and.. basically evil...
please tell me there is someone who can say that they know what is going on with me...
im scared...and i dont know what to do...
please help

 

[20whoami07]

I know how you feel, I feel the same way most of the time. Talk to a close friend who you can trust about it and pray. Read your Bible and fast, to make your relationship, and friendship, with God stronger, and he can help you through it. And if you can't fast for medical reasons, then give up something that you really love, like for me it would be soft drinks. But I will pray for you, and if you ever have the need to takl to someone, but noone else is online, I will be there to talk to you about it. God Bless.

 

[littlenova]

my prayers for u. it's hard when u need your support system,do u have one?

 

[brokenwings27]

umm a support system...ya i dont have one..
but anyways since the last time i wrote, i have been back doing ok, for the most part.. i still have my spouts where i almost go back, and almost had a mental break down i think, about 2 weeks ago.. ok maybe thats exaggerating, but i almost lost it, but i kept my emotions in check...
anyways but im trying to do better, im in kind of a... i guess in between good and bad stage right for now.. not quite sure which way im headin.. it could be up or down.. i guess i'll just have to wait and see