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It's All My Fault

Discussion in 'Anxiety, Panic & Agoraphobia' started by Aquatic Waves, Jul 12, 2019 at 9:07 PM.

  1. Aquatic Waves

    Aquatic Waves Member

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    I lost a friend a while ago and it was all my wrong doing. I said something horrible to her that she completely stopped talking to me. I apologized many times and was truly sincere about it but no luck. I called and text but she ignored me. I mentioned this to my sister and therapist. They basically told me I probably was becoming a burden to her and wasn't treating her like a friend. After a few months, I decided to text her again and make it all about her and nothing about me. I just wanted to know if she was ok. Still no response. It's been 9 months since we didn't talk. So now I believe it's truly over. Forgive me if this sounds selfish of me. I want to move on but I'm afraid. And it's all my fault. I feel I'm now a disgusting, toxic, and cruel person because of all this. I realized too late that I don't think of what I say before telling people whether it hurts them or not. My anxiety is out of whack now, thinking if I said anything wrong or offensive to anyone that I talk to. I'm afraid of becoming a turtle in my shell. I need help please.
     
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2019 at 1:58 PM
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  2. SavedByGrace3

    SavedByGrace3 Whoever calls on the name of Jesus will be saved Supporter

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    I hate to say this... but I doubt that she was ever really a friend. Maybe an acquaintance or a hanger on. But friends will forgive. If she had been a friend... she would have forgiven. And she would have replied.
    Find new friends.
     
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  3. Aquatic Waves

    Aquatic Waves Member

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    We had argued before in the past and I think she had it with me, especially of what I said. The only thing I can think of is that she's maybe drained and feels history will repeat itself by us talking again. Which I want to tell her I don't want that to happen anymore
     
  4. Aquatic Waves

    Aquatic Waves Member

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    FYI we had a argued many times but this was probably the last one with her
     
  5. joshua 1 9

    joshua 1 9 Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Sometimes that is the way life is. We may let one word slip out and the person is so upset by whatever that word is so they may never talk to us again. I would not let it worry you.
     
  6. Aquatic Waves

    Aquatic Waves Member

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    Bump
     
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2019 at 4:06 PM
  7. Aquatic Waves

    Aquatic Waves Member

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    I know it's part of life. I just feel I can't move on w/o her and now I'm afraid
     
  8. joshua 1 9

    joshua 1 9 Well-Known Member Supporter

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    There are lot of things in life we can not do apart from God. That is why we depend on God to help us. I could not forgive my first wife. One day when I was at the alter receiving communion I asked God to help me forgive her and the blood of Jesus cleansed me. His forgiveness did a work in me that I was not able to do apart from God. The Bible is very clear about how important it is for us to forgive in order to be forgiven. We are told that perfect love casts out all fear. If we fear then we have not been perfected in God's love.
     
  9. Aquatic Waves

    Aquatic Waves Member

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    Yes I know. But not to sound selfish. I know I cannot force anyone to forgive me. But my former friend forgave people who I think done worse to her then what I did. I feel it's unfair. I been praying to God to have something break which she will contact me again soon. I want to prove to her I want to be a new person and to give me 1 last chance. I want to be more of a friend then a daughter friendship figure. I didn't explain in my OP that she's much older then me.
     
  10. Aquatic Waves

    Aquatic Waves Member

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    Error
     
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2019 at 3:13 PM
  11. Aquatic Waves

    Aquatic Waves Member

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    And another thing I'm worried about. I fear I said something else about her or anyone in her family when we last argued. And now I'm hated by them. I am remorseful and guilty
     
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