It isn't easy

[TotallyDependingOnJesus]

I have to say that CBT therapy requires a huge leap of faith, because I have to let my thoughts and fears go by and just think of them as "just another OCD thought, nothing else." My natural inclination is to wonder why I had the thought or instantly feel guilt or shame over it. Sometimes I even question whether the thought was real (that's when I feel like I'm losing my mind some). So just letting the thought go through and labeling it OCD is a very tough thing to do. But I'm going to take the leap of faith and try these things they are teaching me, because my only other solution is to continue to drive myself nuts going round and round about the thoughts and fears. So please pray for me, as this is not easy to do, as I know many of you know.

Kimberly

 

[LadyL]

praying for you Kimberly.

 

[RuthD]

I'm praying for you too. I hope you will be able to control your OCD with therapy.

 

[the.Sheepdog]

You are definitely being prayed for dear sister. One of the neat things with therapy is that one second after you fail you can succeed all over again. This minute I messed up. Ok Thats done. This minute I am OK. I have been doing this for years and now it gets a bit easier.

One day or one hour or one minute at a time I can do this. My prayer is that you can too.

 

[TotallyDependingOnJesus]

Thank you for the prayers and encouragement.

 

[LadyL]

How is it going, Kimberly?

 

[TotallyDependingOnJesus]

Thanks for asking, LadyL. I am getting through. My intensive program starts on Monday, but I got to see him once yesterday to get things rolling. I feel like I am kind of just in survival mode. I get all pumped up that it's just the OCD, and I am going to accept that these crazy thoughts are just the OCD; then I get in an anxious situations or just all of a sudden get a thought and then anxious, and it feels like all that confidence crumbles. And I start fearing that there is a possibility the thoughts or fear is true. I just need to trust that Jesus knows my heart and trust that He understands my OCD. I am so tired of the lies in my head feeling like they are real, when I know in my heart they aren't.

 

[LadyL]

Thanks for asking, LadyL. I am getting through. My intensive program starts on Monday, but I got to see him once yesterday to get things rolling. I feel like I am kind of just in survival mode. I get all pumped up that it's just the OCD, and I am going to accept that these crazy thoughts are just the OCD; then I get in an anxious situations or just all of a sudden get a thought and then anxious, and it feels like all that confidence crumbles. And I start fearing that there is a possibility the thoughts or fear is true. I just need to trust that Jesus knows my heart and trust that He understands my OCD. I am so tired of the lies in my head feeling like they are real, when I know in my heart they aren't.

I know how you feel, I get those bouts too.

Sometimes I feel close to God and other times it feels like I'm a mess.

Hold on, sis.

 

[127.0.0.1]

When I have an OCD thought, I have to get right on it, right away, or it'll mushroom and get bigger. OCD can really run your life...if you don't get right on it.

 

[RuthD]

God bless you!