It is better to be single

[Bellicus]

...said the apostle Paul. And I don't think anyone believe that he told lies.

Look at the dry facts:
- "Feeling in love" lasts only a couple of years maximum.
- The sex might be tempting, but did you ever consider that Viagra is a top selling drug? People actually need medicine to be able to have sex after some years. The truth is that sex gets boring with the same person.

Janus Report on Sexual Behavior (1993) found:

"More than one-third of men
and one-quarter of women
admit having had at least one extramarital sexual experience.

The sad truth is that there is a lot of empty and unsatisfying relationships out there. And there is no difference for Christians.
- Christians divorce more often then secular couples.
- Getting children is not just fun.

So why bother trying to find a partner? Why all the posts in here that is about dating and getting a girl/boy-friend etc.

Why work so hard trying to get something worse then what you already have?

 

[Apollo Celestio]

...I am NOT the person to answer this, but true love is not an emotion, it is a matter of the will, just as loving God is. A foundation set on sex will not survive the testing fires of living life. And I'm sure that most sexual people would agree.

 

[ChristianCritic]

No.

 

[Inkachu]

Sorry Bellicus, but everything about your OP is misguided and incorrect.

 

[ImperialPhantom]

...said the apostle Paul. And I don't think anyone believe that he told lies.

Look at the dry facts:
- "Feeling in love" lasts only a couple of years maximum.
- The sex might be tempting, but did you ever consider that Viagra is a top selling drug? People actually need medicine to be able to have sex after some years. The truth is that sex gets boring with the same person.

The sad truth is that there is a lot of empty and unsatisfying relationships out there. And there is no difference for Christians.
- Christians divorce more often then secular couples.
- Getting children is not just fun.

So why bother trying to find a partner? Why all the posts in here that is about dating and getting a girl/boy-friend etc.

Why work so hard trying to get something worse then what you already have?

Your "dry facts" are opinions. People divorce cuz they go about finding a partner the wrong way, and they handle marriage the wrong way. People cheat because they choose to cheat.

Paul believes that being single is better than being married, but he said that out of his own opinion, not out of God's voice. God created marriage and male/female for a reason. He said "It is good for man not to be alone" or something of the sort back in Genesis. Unless you are literally called to celibacy or asexual, you can choose to listen to God or Paul. I chose God.

 

[Everlasting33]

...said the apostle Paul. And I don't think anyone believe that he told lies.

Look at the dry facts:
- "Feeling in love" lasts only a couple of years maximum.
- The sex might be tempting, but did you ever consider that Viagra is a top selling drug? People actually need medicine to be able to have sex after some years. The truth is that sex gets boring with the same person.

The sad truth is that there is a lot of empty and unsatisfying relationships out there. And there is no difference for Christians.
- Christians divorce more often then secular couples.
- Getting children is not just fun.

There are a lot of empty and unsatisfying relationships. Feeling in love may only last for a short while. Having children may not seem fun for a bit. Both Christians and secular couples have way too many divorces.

We all have to fully acknowledge and understand that each individual comes into a relationship and a marriage with baggage and a set of personal issues from one's childhood. These unresolved issues can wreck havoc on any marriage and it is important to address low self-esteem, character issues, and mental illness before committing oneself to a long standing relationship.

For some, marriage is ideal and fits perfectly and for others being single is what is best for them. Marriage certainly has many challenges and I don't know many people who will argue with that.

But, for me, I am in no rush to find a partner. If it happens, it happens. Since my worth is not tied to a man, I am much more relaxed with the idea of remaining single. But, if I were to consider marriage, I would make sure most of my core issues will be resolved (I expect the same from my partner) and I will feel more confident going into a marriage.

 

[penNpaper]

...said the apostle Paul. And I don't think anyone believe that he told lies.

Look at the dry facts:
- "Feeling in love" lasts only a couple of years maximum.
- The sex might be tempting, but did you ever consider that Viagra is a top selling drug? People actually need medicine to be able to have sex after some years. The truth is that sex gets boring with the same person.

The sad truth is that there is a lot of empty and unsatisfying relationships out there. And there is no difference for Christians.
- Christians divorce more often then secular couples.
- Getting children is not just fun.

So why bother trying to find a partner? Why all the posts in here that is about dating and getting a girl/boy-friend etc.

Why work so hard trying to get something worse then what you already have?

Love is when you tell your SO "I don't care what you did in your past". Love is when your SO looks into your eyes and wepts and say "I love you" maybe for the first time.

The people that buy Viagra may have issues in that sex drive of theirs lol. And boy with all the making love it sure...wait I'm single and still a virgin lol...God knows did a pretty darn fine job about the making love thing. Making love to your married SO over and over again hmmm it sure may get....interesting it won't be boring haha...to quote a dear friend "sex isn't everything" but to add in there it is important for a healthy loving married relationship and it won't be boring...

Christian relationships and/or marriages failed because the fact that maybe they didn't put the Lord first in their relationship and marriage. Plus add the fact that "believers" aren't perfect either...I know a few dear friends in my family and here...I don't judge them I want the best for them

Getting children is a blessing among some circles...

God Bless,
Drew

 

[Tink]

Um...no.

 

[Trashionista]

- The sex might be tempting, but did you ever consider that Viagra is a top selling drug? People actually need medicine to be able to have sex after some years. The truth is that sex gets boring with the same person.

An ED drug like Viagra or Cialis is not reccomended for men who don't have the desire or low libido, but men who have the desire to have sex, but have difficulty getting or maintaining an erection.

Men using Viagra for recreational purposes, won't actually get much out of the experience. At best, it'll be all psychological and the man may think he has more prowess, but it will just be a placebo effect.

The popularity of Viagra and Cialis suggests maybe that we have a lot of obese men [which does affect the plumbing], men who smoke or have smoked long-term, or men with diabetes, in addition to a bunch of factors than can cause ED. It is not really proof that people's sex lives have become boring or that married couples don't enjoy sex. Not to mention, that there could just be a lot of companies out there who profit from doctors pushing ED drugs.

 

[mina]

For some it's better to be single, and they usually know it.
For others it isn't and they usually know it too.

 

[WileyCoyote]

Wow, way to ruin people's hope for a spouse.

 

[Inkachu]

Ain't ruinin' mine.

 

[tartanarmy]

I think what you may be describing as far as the love only lasts a short time is that initial feeling of desire when everything is new and exciting. As the relationship progresses past that point and you get to know each other and fall in love with WHO that person is, that initial excitement fades and what should be left is a deep mutual respect and emotional bond.

Like a tree we can see the trunk and the leaves but the most important parts are the roots. They have to be strong and grow deep.

I am fine on my own but I prefer to be with someone I can share the special moments in my life with

 

[willard3]

I am fine on my own but I prefer to be with someone I can share the special moments in my life with

I too appreciate the single life a decent amount, but I occasionally get overwhelmed by loneliness and want someone to love and be loved by.

As for hopes being ruined, mine have pretty much already been ruined by moving to the west side of Cincinnati, so don't worry, OP!

 

[Apollo Celestio]

I guess I'm the other way around, I can see the value in a relationship, and could live with one, but I more easily live without one.

 

[Windmill]

Paul said that to a specific group of people in a specific, unusual situation. He said that to them because of how messed up things were at their church.

Of course, for an individual person, not getting married and staying single might be the best option- some not! Even Paul said if you want sex lots then it is better to get married- and that was also told to the Corinthians too.

It is all relative, do whatever is best for you I say

 

[vibrant]

i can definitely see paul's point. my picture has the caption, such a moment is worth the wait, but to me, there's so much to do in the meantime.

 

[Bellicus]

1.Cor 7,1Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
3Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
4The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
5Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
6But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.
7For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
8I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.
9But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

...I am NOT the person to answer this, but true love is not an emotion, it is a matter of the will, just as loving God is. A foundation set on sex will not survive the testing fires of living life. And I'm sure that most sexual people would agree.

But the whole reason for marriage at all, as seen from verse 2 and 9 is sex... It is a matter of giving away the property of ones own body to someone else, and claiming the same, to be able to avoid fornication.

Sorry Bellicus, but everything about your OP is misguided and incorrect.

Like what?

Your "dry facts" are opinions. People divorce cuz they go about finding a partner the wrong way, and they handle marriage the wrong way. People cheat because they choose to cheat.

There is a awfully lot of people that go the wrong way then, so statistically, what is the guarantee for you or me to not go the same wrong way?

An ED drug like Viagra or Cialis is not reccomended for men who don't have the desire or low libido, but men who have the desire to have sex, but have difficulty getting or maintaining an erection.

Men using Viagra for recreational purposes, won't actually get much out of the experience. At best, it'll be all psychological and the man may think he has more prowess, but it will just be a placebo effect.

The popularity of Viagra and Cialis suggests maybe that we have a lot of obese men [which does affect the plumbing], men who smoke or have smoked long-term, or men with diabetes, in addition to a bunch of factors than can cause ED. It is not really proof that people's sex lives have become boring or that married couples don't enjoy sex. Not to mention, that there could just be a lot of companies out there who profit from doctors pushing ED drugs.

OK, I might be wrong about the Viagra. But statistically, where do you think the usage of Viagra is higher, after 1 year of marriage or 10 year of marriage? And don't blame all of it on physical issues like smoking or diabetes, I think there is just as many tests that show psychological reasons for why someone would need it.

For some it's better to be single, and they usually know it.
For others it isn't and they usually know it too.

Verse 1, 7 and 8 above says that it is good for everyone to stay single. Paul mentions a gift from God. Why not pray to get this gift, instead of praying for something worse then being single?

Wow, way to ruin people's hope for a spouse.

Ain't ruinin' mine.

Where do I try to ruin peoples hope for a spouse? Don't pick on me just because I try to dig up something good about being single. This forum is mainly about posts about dating/partners/boyfriends/girlfriends and how much everyone seem to want this, and then mixed with threads where people say they give up or show despair in other ways because they don't have this wonderful thing that they imagine married people have. But it is really not just wonderful. It is just as good to be single, or even better from what Paul say. I just want to give people (myself included) some rest inside about this. So don't give me that blaming tone.

I guess I'm the other way around, I can see the value in a relationship, and could live with one, but I more easily live without one.

Wish I could feel it the same way.

 

[Inkachu]

Like what?

Because your whole intention behind your OP wasn't objective. You didn't state the case for singlehood from God's point of view, or even Paul's accurate point of view; but from YOUR point of view, which was "marriage is doomed to fail, sex will suck after a while, nobody stays in love, what's the point". And none of those were Paul's reasons for his sermon.

Paul clearly states that his comments on single vs married are his OPINION; and as another posted said, they were directed to the Corinthians because of their specific situation.

God said "It's not good for man to be alone". Who's the greater authority; God or Paul?

 

[Bellicus]

Paul clearly states that his comments on single vs married are his OPINION; and as another posted said, they were directed to the Corinthians because of their specific situation.

God said "It's not good for man to be alone". Who's the greater authority; God or Paul?

OK, let us see in Genesis 2:

18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
19 Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field.
But for Adam [g] no suitable helper was found. 21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs [h] and closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib [i] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
23 The man said,
"This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called 'woman, [j] '
for she was taken out of man."
24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
25 The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

Again a specific situation, like you mention the letter to the Corinthians is. But what is closer to the situation we are in? The situation of the Corinthians or the situation of Adam?

It is not a question of authority here, since God have never commanded anyone to marry. A man don't sin if he marry, and he don't sin if he don't marry.

Did God ever say that it is better to be married, then to be single?

And do you honestly think that Paul would write something GOD would disagree with?