- Jun 26, 2015
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This is my testimony as to not only the possibility of each of us walking as an overcomer, victorious over the world the flesh and the devil, but its sureness!
I have been a inappropriate content addict since I was 12. I got saved at 21 and thought it would end. It did not. Thirty-eight years as a Christian and I had tried everything. I had water fasted for 21 days. was a home pastor. Jail ministry. Memorized tons of the new testament. Accountability partner. Prayed constantly. Three services a week. Bot matter how I tried to get the victory, eventually I would return to the sin I hated. I was the poster boy for Romans 7 and of all men most miserable.
Eventually, I simply ran out of things to try. One night, I cried out to God, telling Him that His way was too high, too hard and I could not do it. Then it happened.
My room was filled with a blinding golden light. Did I see His face? No, for His presence put me on my face and tears blinded my eyes. Amazement, terror, joy, take your pick. And then He spoke to me. It was not what I expected.
"For this, my son, I am well pleased with you."
Confused? Yeah, me too. LOL. It made no sense. I had just confessed to Him my total inability to obey Him. I had longed to hear or feel like God was pleased with me for decades, and I never did. If I read ten chapters before bed, I should have read twenty. That part about there being no condemnation? Yeah, right. It was my daily bread because of my addictive sin.
My confusion was overwhelming, until Jesus spoke again. and what He said explained everything.
"I knew all along you could not walk the walk I had for you, but you did not yet know it."
Ah, that little word YET. I finally knew it. I wanted to obey Him in all things. I could not, no matter how hard I tried. I had come to the terrible, wonderful place where I had no strength. No confidence in the flesh. Totally empty. Totally looking away from MY strength. It is a hard place to get to, especially for a proud legalist like I was.
But Jesus was not finished talking.
"In all your tryings to walk pleasing to me, did you ever do what I instructed you to do through my servant Paul?"
He did not wait for an answer. He simply opened my eyes to my error. It was, not surprisingly, found in Romans 6. I knew instinctively that Romans 6-8 were key chapters to truly "getting" the gospel that sets us free indeed, but I had totally missed one key verse, and boy, had I missed it.
I will let you digest this and will write more in a bit.
blessings,
Gideon
I have been a inappropriate content addict since I was 12. I got saved at 21 and thought it would end. It did not. Thirty-eight years as a Christian and I had tried everything. I had water fasted for 21 days. was a home pastor. Jail ministry. Memorized tons of the new testament. Accountability partner. Prayed constantly. Three services a week. Bot matter how I tried to get the victory, eventually I would return to the sin I hated. I was the poster boy for Romans 7 and of all men most miserable.
Eventually, I simply ran out of things to try. One night, I cried out to God, telling Him that His way was too high, too hard and I could not do it. Then it happened.
My room was filled with a blinding golden light. Did I see His face? No, for His presence put me on my face and tears blinded my eyes. Amazement, terror, joy, take your pick. And then He spoke to me. It was not what I expected.
"For this, my son, I am well pleased with you."
Confused? Yeah, me too. LOL. It made no sense. I had just confessed to Him my total inability to obey Him. I had longed to hear or feel like God was pleased with me for decades, and I never did. If I read ten chapters before bed, I should have read twenty. That part about there being no condemnation? Yeah, right. It was my daily bread because of my addictive sin.
My confusion was overwhelming, until Jesus spoke again. and what He said explained everything.
"I knew all along you could not walk the walk I had for you, but you did not yet know it."
Ah, that little word YET. I finally knew it. I wanted to obey Him in all things. I could not, no matter how hard I tried. I had come to the terrible, wonderful place where I had no strength. No confidence in the flesh. Totally empty. Totally looking away from MY strength. It is a hard place to get to, especially for a proud legalist like I was.
But Jesus was not finished talking.
"In all your tryings to walk pleasing to me, did you ever do what I instructed you to do through my servant Paul?"
He did not wait for an answer. He simply opened my eyes to my error. It was, not surprisingly, found in Romans 6. I knew instinctively that Romans 6-8 were key chapters to truly "getting" the gospel that sets us free indeed, but I had totally missed one key verse, and boy, had I missed it.
I will let you digest this and will write more in a bit.
blessings,
Gideon