Hi, I am currently seeing a counsellor about childhood abuse and being raped which is also bringing up a whole host of things. As a teenager I was not at all overweight,, but my mum told me several times that I was fatter than she was when she was nine months pregnant. This led me to worrying about my weight. I would pretend to eat breakfadt and lunch but throw it in the bin. The evening meal I would eat as little as possible without my mum thinking anything was strange. I tried to make myself sick several times after eating but just couldn't do it. I weighed myself 10 or more times a day. If the number was up or the same I felt terrible and do loads more excercise until the number went down. Everything I ate I felt really guilty to the point I would be really annoyed at myself. Luckily, I managed to stop myself before things got too serious. As an adult I do find this beginning to happen sometimes whenever I am feeling down.
In between these times (which, luckily is most of the time), I eat unbelievable amounts. For example, a large chocolate bar in the day, ice cream and then a whole family size cheesecake in the evening. This is just the naughty extras, my meals are just normal size. If it's there I can't help myself. If I walk past a shop then I have to buy something. This morning I ate a whole packet of sweets not long after breakfast. I wasn't even hungry and they were making me feel sick, but I still ate them. I am very lucky that I don't really put on weight.
My question is, does this constant eating seem like an eating disorder or am I just being a pig? I'm also wondering whether I should mention it to my counsellor or whether she will just think I'm stupid?
In between these times (which, luckily is most of the time), I eat unbelievable amounts. For example, a large chocolate bar in the day, ice cream and then a whole family size cheesecake in the evening. This is just the naughty extras, my meals are just normal size. If it's there I can't help myself. If I walk past a shop then I have to buy something. This morning I ate a whole packet of sweets not long after breakfast. I wasn't even hungry and they were making me feel sick, but I still ate them. I am very lucky that I don't really put on weight.
My question is, does this constant eating seem like an eating disorder or am I just being a pig? I'm also wondering whether I should mention it to my counsellor or whether she will just think I'm stupid?
