Is this normal?

[Tyler C]

My freshman year of high school was when I started being open to God. I attended a meeting for the local youth group and got hooked. Since I took the first steps and went to church a few times by myself my family has seen my growing faith and now my mom, dad and two sisters have a relationship with God. I'm glad that I was able to open them up to God but I always wonder why he picked me.

It seems that I spend more time trying to prove my faith to myself than actually living God's plan for me. For example, last night I watched the new movie Heaven Is For Real based on the true story. When the boy said that he saw heaven instead of being inspired I instantly though of how this was possible. There is no proof to go off of except for the boys story. I know that part of living for God is believing without seeing. I really do believe that God is alive and there is a life after this that is much more important. It just seems that I question myself a lot and almost have to convince myself that I'm a Christian at times. I know I have plenty to learn and I want to live the life that destined for me but my own head keeps trying to push me back instead of forwards. It's tough to deal with but I am by no means ready to give up my faith just because I'm having conflict with myself. I believe this is something I can overcome...I was just wondering if anyone has experienced this or has any tips?

 

[iAlive]

Ahhh, I know the feeling, bro. You're not alone. There was a time when I was a heavy doubter, but it passed as I got older and got more grounded in the Word of God. Sometimes, I still do wonder about it, but now, it's not as much as I used to. (In those days, I hardly, if ever, read the Bible in personal devotion time. That must've been a factor.) Even though there were some days I felt like quitting because of my human thinking's logic, I kept going. Besides, I thought it would be really not-cool if I threw it away and stood before God, realizing what I did and feel greatly ashamed for giving up.. that thought probably helped keep me going in my season of doubt. Regardless, I'm glad I got out of it. It was worth the fight to keep going.

You see, I'm naturally a skeptical person, and while I don't question God's existence as I used to, this sometimes leads me to be skeptical of messages from the pulpit. After the service, I'll think about it and review the notes/points preached on at home. There, I'll look up the passages and look to see if anything might've been taken out of context. I look at the chapter before it, and the chapter after it. Sometimes, in a time of self-assessment, I question a lot of my own beliefs, and the beliefs of other denominations as well. However, this has begun to lead me to dig deeper into the Bible and to see what it says about the subjects that arise. I want questions to my faith, and the Bible has the answers.

It has its uses. You might say I'm a very discerning person.. I'm really careful with whatever teachings I hear.


EDIT: I know how you feel about the Heaven is For Real. I read the book, but honestly, I just wept. However, sometimes I wonder about the validity of the story, but didn't the Apostle Paul see visions like that as well? The book gave me something to munch on, because I know there is life after death, and I look forward to it. It may or may not be like what the kid described, but I know it will be pretty amazing.

 

[ghag17]

I'm glad that I was able to open them up to God but I always wonder why he picked me.

I know that part of living for God is believing without seeing. I really do believe that God is alive and there is a life after this that is much more important. It just seems that I question myself a lot and almost have to convince myself that I'm a Christian at times. I know I have plenty to learn and I want to live the life that destined for me but my own head keeps trying to push me back instead of forwards. It's tough to deal with but I am by no means ready to give up my faith just because I'm having conflict with myself. I believe this is something I can overcome...I was just wondering if anyone has experienced this or has any tips?

never forget that God will use the people we see as the weakest to do the greatest things, for in our weakness He is strong.
it's not bad to question things, for if you don't question things and try to find an answer, then how will you have an answer for someone else who asks the same question of you? it may be difficult sometimes to trust that there is an answer, but in the end the questions can make you stronger, ready to defend your faith. whenever you have a question, don't push it back and try to ignore it, even if it makes you uncomfortable, but search for the answer. look in the Bible, or if you don't know where to look then ask a fellow christian who has a bit more experience than you if they know the answer.

 

[Snake75]

You should always questions everything. I started questioning a lot younger though. I was 11.

 

[Synthsnow]

Yes, I would say this is very normal. It's happening to me right now; I can really kind of relate to you trying to prove your faith to yourself instead of living out God's plan for you...
I've found myself being doubtful in times of adversity.
Basically, like everyone else said, you just gotta buckle down and immerse yourself in the Word. I've been reading more chapters than I usually do and it's been working absolutely wonderful for me.