Is this normal?

[Faith2008]

Hi there again,

If I know for a fact that I am not possessed by a demon and that I have not really asked the devil to do anything (i.e. that it's only OCD), then why do these fears and thoughts keep coming back? Can the human brain *really* be so latched onto something that went through my brain months ago that it won't shake it, even when I logically and spiritually know the truth? I still have brief spikes of doubt or fear and I immediately have to pray for strength.

I wonder if I have a deeper problem than OCD, but I am not sure. I should have mentioned this before, but I am not on any kind of SSRI, as I think they do more harm than good, just benzos as needed (low dose at that). I am going to counseling for my stress management, but it only has done so much good and I do not have the time to go to an OCD specialist at the moment, because I'm in Grad school and very busy. I'm only a few more months away from graduating and once I get through that and this is not fixed, I am going to pursue a specialist.

I've been reading Job and Ephesians and have been trying to take strength from that: the idea that we may not understand why God allows these things to happen, but we must keep trusting in Him, not lose faith and put on the whole armor of God. I know there must be a reason for what God is doing here in my life and I admit going through all of this is bringing me closer to Him, but I just wish it would stop already. Especially when everything else is going so well in my life at the moment. It's such an oxymoron! :-(

 

[OCD=Owie]

To answer your question, yes, the human brain can latch onto things so strongly. I know that the thoughts and feelings seem so real, but you can't let yourself hyper-analyze them and spend all of your time debating whether you meant them or whether they're bad or not.

As for SSRIs, whether they work or not is really dependent upon the individual. For some people, SSRIs help a lot. For others, not so much. I encourage you not to completely shut the door on the possibility of taking SSRIs. It might be worth giving them a try at least.

Your plan to see a specialist after grad school sounds like a good one! I'll pray for you. And good luck in your last few months of school!